Sunday, September 22, 2013

Like Skywalker and his two bit, two sun life.

 When I attended pre-school, I would occasionally refuse to be known as Kelly. I would be Marty McFly or He-Man or--and this was the best--Luke Skywalker. Being unable to say my R's properly, this last identity switch would come out more Wuke Skywocko which, sadly, isn't considered canon. This was all to the possible detriment of the bus driver who had to call me by my new name if she hoped to get me on the bus. My mom will correct me in the comments on whether or not the driver found this amusing. Aside from enjoying being such awesome people, I think this has a lot to do with me absolutely hating the idea of going to school. They had to go, not me is what I'm saying.

 This isn't really the case anymore. Back in '08 I enrolled at CBC and for three years I had a great time. It kinda petered out there at the end and I took a sabbatical that officially ends tomorrow (9/23) at 9:10 AM. It all came down to math, and that's what the following school year will be about. After that I'll hopefully get accepted to Eastern Washington University. That's been the plan for a while yet, so where I go after CBC might change. We'll see. That's not what this post is about though.

 Going back to being Luke Skywalker, I can really relate to the guy. Before it was just the similar to mine blonde hair and wielding a lightsaber that made me like the character so much, but now I realize how much it can drain somebody to be stuck in the desert/desert planet while your friends go out into the world/galaxy. Luke had massive, external and extenuating circumstances keeping him stuck on Tatooine. While the only thing keeping me here is me. I'm terrified of what's out there. Ashen faced, can't sleep, white knuckled terror. The real problem is I've lost track of that terror's ratio of real to imagined. So I avoid it and believe that it'll eventually go away and I won't need to worry about it anymore.

 Because that's what works, right? Spoilers: it doesn't.

 I'm getting off this damn planet, but not like Luke anymore. I'll be doing it of my own accord and not because some catastrophe forced me to.

 This is me and this is going to be awesome. Allons-y!