I Was An 18-24 Demographic

Doing what I want.

2011-12-02T14:24:00.001-08:00

For those of you that are my friends on facebook and have been paying attention to my posts on Tuesday, I have been coming to the Starbucks close to my house and writing. More importantly, my writing has been focused on a story that's been in the back of my mind for two years now. There are others that have been gestating for even longer than that (War of Time wins that contest), but this has been the most nagging, irrepressible and so far enjoyable one to write out of them all.

As much as I've wanted to write it, the desire to is greatly outweighed by the desire to write in the first place. I love writing, but it's something that I don't do nearly as much as I should. Even now with Tuesday's being singled out primarily for writing, I want to do more of it. I'm sitting in Starbucks right now, on a Friday, writing this, but I want to hurry and finish so I can go back to my story. Writing has become addictive enough that I look forward to Tuesday more than any other day, and even then it's not enough.

This is what I've wanted to do since I was a freshman in high school, and even though it's taken 16 years I'm glad I've finally knuckled down and gotten at least moderately serious about it. I want to be a writer more than most things (wielding a lightsaber while riding a hoverboard wins that contest), and I firmly believe that I have the potential to be one. This little story I'm writing, it's not going to be my best. It will be my most personal, and potentially my most important, but I will always strive to do better.

I plan on publishing it as an e-book when I feel it's finished enough, and I'll be surprised if I make more than a dollar for it. Profit won't be the point, because that way is a congested, potholed mess of a 16 lane freeway. I'll be taking the scenic route, which, while not exactly deserted, is much more enjoyable and will get me where I'm going in due time. I'm very excited to be on my way to where I've wanted to go since I was a kid; a writer.

Memorabilia

2011-09-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

There's been an important slip of paper in my wallet for the last few years, a list of sorts, and for whatever reason, I've been worried about it. Beyond losing my wallet I can't honestly say that anything will happen to it, but I have recurring and unnerving thoughts that something may happen to it. It's just a slip of paper at its most basic form, but it represents a memory so potent and vibrant that I could never bear to part with it.

I seem to invest a lot of worth into objects, and I don't see a problem with that. There are a lot of memories that I have tucked away inside my mind, but they can be so buried underneath the years that they're not so easily recalled unless I see a corresponding object. Whenever I come across my old CD player I remember all the times it carried me through the tough times I had in high school. There wasn't much that couldn't be solved by turning the volume up, and I never hesitated to do so.

In the late 90's my favorite thing to do was going to the movies, and I have the ticket stubs to prove it. Since the ink wasn't exactly the highest quality the writing would fade, leaving only the soft pink or green color of the paper behind. I didn't want to have a collection of blank tickets so I bought a pack of plastic sleeves for baseball cards. They worked really well, and even today they read as clear as 11-14 year old ticket stubs rightfully should. I keep them in the top drawer of my dresser, so I see them whenever I root through it for batteries or a credit card I never use.

My guitar is another piece of my life that has memories intricately tied to it, but since I have it next to my bed I tend to forget them. I've had it for over 11 years, and it was the coolest thing I had ever bought with my own money until my truck less than three years later. Next to a car, an electric guitar was what I dreamed of having the most (okay, lightsabers and hoverboards aside), so to actually have one was like fulfilling a life's dream. I'm not as good as I could be, since I'm entirely self taught and I only play for fun, but I know enough to get by.

For all the memories I have that are attached to physical objects, there are immaterial things such as songs that cause the memories to well up. One song in particular stands out, and one particular instance of it playing will always be clear, cherished and kept safe. The moon was so full and bright that I could have driven on that back road with no headlights. It was cold outside, but I didn't notice or care because of who I had next to me, her head on my shoulder, holding onto my arm. That moment would be special to me even if there had been no song, but Whatsername by Green Day was playing, and it made the moment perfect.

I put a lot of significance into things like that slip of paper, so it's not surprising that sometimes I worry about losing them. I know I'll always have the memories, it's not like I can lose them, but I like having the keys to unlock them. It makes them seem more tangible, and less likely to be forgotten.

Taking a drive... somewhere

2011-08-09T00:50:00.000-07:00

As I was watching TV earlier tonight, a Taco Bell commercial let me know that their Nachos Supreme are 99¢ for a limited time. To me, cheap, edible and nachos are three words that go really well together, and as I was hungry, I decided I'd go and get me some. Now, a funny thing happens whenever it's the middle of the night and I'm about to make a quick five minute drive.

I get the urge to take a road trip.

If I have a number of days off in front of me the urge is intensified, because I have the time to actually do it. When I unlock my car door I think of how quickly I could pack a bag, toss it in the back and go. It's intoxicating. When I pull out of the neighborhood I look at the moon and imagine driving until it's sunk below the horizon and the sun rises behind it. I'd make sure to call home around 9 or so, and let my family know where I was, what I was doing and that I hadn't lost my mind. I can be fairly persuasive when I'm flying by the seat of my pants.

The only issue would be where I would go on my impromptu (yet prepared for) road trip. Driving down Vancouver or 27th I begin to get a few ideas. I could go to the Seattle area, but I get lost there so easily that I'd spend half the trip trying to find my way out. I could go to Spokane, but it's such a short trip that I wouldn't feel as if I was truly "getting away." Then the inevitable pops into my head, but I'm at the drive-thru so now I need to think about what I want to eat. Cheap, edible nachos of course.

I get my food, get back on the road and resume my thinking. I should explain that my thought processes work much like an old Sony Walkman, in that I remember exactly where I left off and continue exactly from that point on. My friends can confirm this with great enthusiasm. So, anyway, I snap right back to the inevitable place I would direct my road trip ambitions, and that place would be Missouri. Come on, tell me you're not surprised. I dare you.

If you are surprised, I'll happily explain. My friend KaTrina lives there, and I miss her. It'd be great to surprise her by suddenly showing up, and that would make the drive there worth it. The drive back would suck, which tempers to outright erases any and all chances of my ever making that trip. I would need a hell of a souvenir to break even on the investment.

So, as I turn into my neighborhood, my food sitting quietly in the passenger seat, I decide that a road trip, while awesome, wouldn't be the most practical of things to do at 1AM. I instead decide that blogging about it would be enough of a cathartic release, and much, much cheaper. I don't think I could say how many times this scenario has happened (cheap, edible nachos involved or not), but I never actually got around to blogging about it. I guess when I'm standing in the driveway the fancifulness of my daydream ebbs away, and I no longer feel like taking the time to write it out.

Tonight though, as I stood in the driveway, I looked up at the moon just hanging there in the sky, slowly slipping toward the horizon. The excitement of making such a trip sparked again, and I felt the desire to write about it. Maybe one of these days I'll take such a drive, and I'll enjoy to the fullest getting away from it all. Until then, I'll think about it every time I drive somewhere close on a warm summer's night. Some of the best things in my life have happened while driving late at night anyway, so it might not be a bad idea.

The Weather

2011-04-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

The weather is a very boring topic. I should be a bit clearer and say that nice weather is a boring topic. Things like ice and lightning storms are awesome, and easily spice up any conversation, but nice weather is what strangers discuss. Yet as boring as nice weather may be, it's still lovely to have and worth enjoying. That's what this blog is going to be about: how I enjoy nice weather, and summer weather specifically.

The first thing I think of when warmer weather rolls around is driving at night. Not just driving at night, but driving at night in flip flops, a t-shirt and shorts, with the windows down. It gives me that feeling of "this is great" and "I should do this every night." After all those months of having to bundle up before going out it feels refreshing to do little more than slip on some footwear and go. It makes 1AM trips to Wal-Mart enjoyable instead of a chore, and that's an impressive feat. Why someone would go there at such an hour is known only to those that have, but we know and that's why we go. Besides, if you're up all night you need something to do...

When I was younger, I made a habit of staying up all night when I was on summer vacation. At first it was just to do it, but over the years I found a perfect reason: breakfast. Let me explain. Where I used to live there was a park just across the street with a smattering of trees, and it was in the middle of the neighborhood. In the park, there was a table in a prime spot for watching the sunrise. When the time came I would get a bowl of cereal and sit at that table, eating my breakfast while watching the sun rise. I must have been 14 or 15 when I first did it, and I remember just feeling satisfied.

My parents were never too happy when I would stay up all night, but the simple act of having breakfast like that was worth it and I'm very happy I did it. For something that happens every day, the sunrise is one of the best. It's very calming, but exhilarating at the same time. I can't recommend watching one enough, especially when the weather is as nice as it is on a summer morning.

One of my favorite memories is being woken by those first rays of sunshine, after taking a short nap in my car. I had been driving around all night, enjoying the wonderful weather we were having. That's not something I could have done in January. You need June weather or better. I'm happy that I live in a place that has distinct seasons. It makes beautiful weather much more special, and it's just, well, nice.

The Stalwart Lily Bart and the Traits and Tools of a Coward

2011-03-05T15:21:00.000-08:00

_____Of all the things that Lily Bart from House of Mirth may be (temptress, manipulator, spoiled, etc.), a coward is not one of them. A coward is someone who seeks out the easiest way to go through life, and even then they will find a way to expend the least amount of energy in doing so. For example, Lily intentionally botches her chance to marry Percy Gryce, and subsequently into money, just so she can spend time with the man she loves. She can feign surprise at Percy’s sudden urge to flee, but she knew what she was doing. When she let slip a few extra drops of her sleeping medicine, she knew what she was doing. She remembered the chemist’s warning, though she paid it little real thought, and took the one in a hundred chance knowingly (Wharton 342). Though she played with her life and lost, she had as much intention to lose as any time she played bridge or any other game of cards.

_____It’s easy to see why some people may believe that Lily consciously took her own life, or even subconsciously as the text indicates on page 342 (“ –darkness, darkness was what she must have at any cost.”), but that’s a matter of interpretation rather than indisputable fact. It doesn’t make any sense that Lily would force herself to write a check to Gus Trenor, only to not get the satisfaction of showing his pompous assed self that she was nothing if not true to her word. She had been ground to dust, leaving a thin layer of it on the floor of her former social scene, but she wouldn’t be swept away so easily. Killing herself would have made it all too simple for those she once counted as friends to well and truly brush her off their conscience and their shoulders.

_____Going beyond those fair-weather friends, there was also Selden to think about, which she did. As she slowly passed from the cruel waking world to the mercifully benign realm of sleep she remembered that there was something she must tell him. There was a word that would make everything better between them, and it scared her that she might forget it before she woke (Wharton 343). More than the check that had already been written and prepared for delivery, talking to Selden was a vital priority that demanded she wake up in the morning from her drug induced sleep.

_____I can’t say what that word is, and I’m sure even Wharton can’t say without a few grains of salty doubt what it is either, but I will venture a guess and say that it was marriage. With the money allotted to Trenor, and the incriminating letters to Selden burned, Lily had no reason to not accept Selden as her husband. It would no longer be a marriage based on money, but based on love, and if love isn’t a reason to get up in the morning then I shudder to think of how few options there remain to do so.

_____So with self-worth and love on the checklist of why Lily didn’t intentionally kill herself, I present the future for inclusion on that list as well. When Lily visits Nettie Struther’s apartment she sees a life of happiness, despite being in such close proximity to failure and poverty. Witnessing such love and dedication to living stirred something in Lily, and that something was her own resolution to making her own future. That future is shown as the baby Lily holds while she slides into her drug induced sleep. She takes great care to cradle the newborn, “…holding her breath lest a sound should disturb the sleeping child” (Wharton 343).

_____That baby, figurative as it may be, is the new Lily she alludes to on 328. Lily has succeeded in fully creating her new self, and there is no point in making and nurturing that new self if she’s going to kill it off with a few measly drops of soporific. It’s ludicrous to think that Lily Bart knowingly killed herself when she had given herself so many reasons to live. Suicide is a coward’s tool, designed to injure loved ones and escape what was never pursuing. Lily Bart is not a coward and she would never do such a horrible thing to those she loved or to herself. She just wouldn’t.

The Social Network Not-Review

2011-03-05T01:27:00.000-08:00

I've just finished watching The Social Network. The credits are rolling at the moment and there's a very soothing kind of ambient music playing as the text rolls by. The credits are over now though, because I checked a few facts on Wikipedia and Google (Mark's birthday and proper italicization (that's a word?) rules respectively) so the following blog entry will be 'correct.'

I'm halfway tempted to play it again from the beginning just so I can have it playing as background noise while I write this, but the menu screen is a few minutes long and is surprisingly conducive to my writing. Anyway. The one thought that popped into my head within the last few minutes of the movie was this, 'This is my generation's Catcher In The Rye.'

Granted, my generation's Catcher In The Rye already is Catcher In The Rye, but The Social Network comes damn close to echoing what makes that story so powerful: I hate this world, but I want to belong.

The Mark Zuckerberg we see in the movie, which isn't the real one, is attending Harvard. He's in an exclusive club with back doors that lead to lucrative and powerful positions all over the world, but that's not what he wants. He just wants to have access to them. To know that should he ever decide to use them, he can. But he can't. They're not listed among his Membership Benefits. He's got a Silver Account instead of a Gold or Platinum. To counter this, he starts his own club and succeeds wildly. He's now the youngest billionaire in history, but he's still the guy who just wants to belong somewhere.

I can relate to that. Not the billionaire thing, but the desperation to feel like I belong. I have friends, and if you scroll down you'll see a lovely piece I wrote about how much they mean to me, but I just feel like it isn't enough sometimes. Of "friends" on Facebook, I have 79 while other's number in the hundreds. There's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't make me feel any less secure when I think about it. I've been told I'm a great guy, but there's that number staring me in the face. It's not even committed enough to laugh at me.

I've also been told that I have this amazing talent for writing, and though I've seen it for myself, I sometimes can't help but think I'm being lied to. If it was there, I should have already written reams upon reams of poetry, fiction and essays. But I haven't. The ideas are there, rattling in my head, fresh as the day they cropped up, but they're stuck there. They want desperately to be put to paper, even if it's digital, but they can't get out. I want them to come out perfect, but that's not going to happen unless they come out. Even this rant is having a hard time finding its way onto the screen and it's not even fiction!

I want to write, but I can't. I tell myself I will when I have time, but I already have it! I sit on my couch with the TV on and Facebook open, hoping people read what I post and comment on or even Like it. I post song lyrics and YouTube videos in vain attempts to grab somebody's attention, forgetting how well it went the last time. I'll post those, but I won't post how miserable, lonely and disappointed in my life I am because I think it's a petty grab at attention towards my too small audience.

I hate my life at the moment. I say 'at the moment' because I can't see (or stand to bear for that matter) how this life could last into my 30's, 40's and beyond. Yes, I'm in school, but not the one I want to be in. I still live at home, and though I'm surrounded by all my possessions, it all seems so meaningless. I hate my job that I can't quit and something else I deleted though it's no secret what it was I'm sure. I'm scared because I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next, but I refuse to accept help because that's what weak people do. I'm a walking Catch-22 if ever there were one. I'm only happy when I'm miserable, but I'm always miserable so why aren't I happy?

I just wanted to write about how much I loved The Social Network. I wanted to say that Mark isn't an asshole. He's awkward, smart and a good guy, but damn if the good guy part doesn't get lost in the shuffle. I know what it's like to not fit in when by all accounts you should, and to then go about being alone with a stiff upper lip. It sucks. It's soul crushing work that goes unrewarded as long as it goes.

The film ends with Mark tapping F5 intermittently, silently waiting for the reason he's there to respond to his friend request. This blog entry ends with me posting a link to Facebook, warning people not to read it for how dreary and depressing it is. Then I'll be going to sleep. When I wake up I'll wring whatever joy I can from those few fleeting seconds where I can't remember what drove me to write all of this in the first place.

Good night.

'Tough' and 'Competent'

2011-02-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

____There usually isn't anything good on TV from when I get home from school until I leave for work. So instead of good, I settled on mildly interesting and began to watch a special about the Space Program titled "Failure Is Not An Option." It wasn't long before the show went from mildly, to genuinely interesting, and it was cool to learn about the various successes and failures of the program. It eventually came to the Apollo 1 fire disaster.

____It didn't shy away from showing how reckless NASA was being. The fire and subsequent deaths of the astronauts Grissom, White and Chaffee were because of that recklessness, and they could have easily been avoided. It was a tragedy, but it was by no means the end. Gene Kranz, flight director for the mission, gathered everyone together on the Monday morning after the disaster and delivered a stirring speech. It was at this point the show went from interesting to damn inspiring. The speech, which Kranz can recite from memory, is as follows...

____"Spaceflight will never tolerate carelessness, incapacity, and neglect. Somewhere, somehow, we screwed up. It could have been in design, build, or test. Whatever it was, we should have caught it. We were too gung ho about the schedule and we locked out all of the problems we saw each day in our work. Every element of the program was in trouble and so were we.

____The simulators were not working, Mission Control was behind in virtually every area, and the flight and test procedures changed daily. Nothing we did had any shelf life. Not one of us stood up and said, 'Dammit, stop!' I don't know what Thompson's committee will find as the cause, but I know what I find. We are the cause! We were not ready! We did not do our job. We were rolling the dice, hoping that things would come together by launch day, when in our hearts we knew it would take a miracle. We were pushing the schedule and betting that the Cape would slip before we did.

____From this day forward, Flight Control will be known by two words: 'Tough' and 'Competent.' Tough means we are forever accountable for what we do or what we fail to do. We will never again compromise our responsibilities. Every time we walk into Mission Control we will know what we stand for. Competent means we will never take anything for granted. We will never be found short in our knowledge and in our skills. Mission Control will be perfect.

____When you leave this meeting today you will go to your office and the first thing you will do there is to write 'Tough and Competent' on your blackboards. It will never be erased. Each day when you enter the room these words will remind you of the price paid by Grissom, White, and Chaffee. These words are the price of admission to the ranks of Mission Control."

____There's no particular reason I posted this other than I really like the speech and I'm glad that I heard it, but I think that everybody should at least read it. It's inspiring and poignant, and I challenge anyone not to be moved by it.

To My Friends

2011-01-10T22:44:00.000-08:00

I don't usually do well with January. The holiday rush is over, I sulk over an entire year having gone by and it's cold all the time. January 2010 was no different, but 2010 as a whole was awesome. Oddly enough, it was awesome as a direct result of school. Near the end of the fall quarter my friend Jay, who I shared two classes with the previous year, was intent on restarting the Anthropology club at CBC. He got the paperwork going and I had signed on as the treasurer (I was really only the third to sign and got the position that way). All told there were 8-11 people that signed up. One of them was Ashley, who at this point was just a girl who sat behind me in class, signed into either vice-president or secretary of the club. More on her later.

So, with the winter quarter underway, the anthropology club began meeting every Tuesday at 1:50. Jay and I were done with school at 12:30 so we always had time to kill before then. We'd go out to lunch to different places, usually for pho by downtown Kennewick or to a Hawaiian place near the school. It was so great to spend time with a friend on a regular basis, and it really brightened my day. The club meetings were just as enjoyable. I've always shied away from groups, but I was tired of being alone because of it so I made myself attend; and my change of tact paid off.

During one of the earliest meetings, this really scruffy looking guy with a cane showed up. I didn't pay him much mind, but then I realized he was laughing at my jokes! That's good enough for me, I thought, and I eventually learned his name was Jake and he was taking Archaeology with Jay, Ashley and I. Now, I don't know the exact sequence of events, but I know that one day Ashley came to lunch with Jay and I. Soon after that, Jake would come along too. Before I go on, I'd like to give a short (no promises) description to each of them.

-Jay is an outspoken guy who is damn near impossible to repress. If he's having a good time, everybody is. In fact, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be writing this. We'd had the same class, in the same room, with the same professor but at different times for Fall '08. For Winter '09 however, we had the same class, in the same room, with the same professor at the same time. One day early in the quarter he asked if I sat in the same spot the previous quarter, when I replied "Yeah." he yelled back (despite being only two feet away) "Oh dude, me too!" For the next five quarters we had a class together, and it was awesome.

-Ashley is... well, in a nutshell, Ashley is incredible. She's every bit her own person and she has no problem speaking her mind even if somebody else is talking, especially if the somebody is me (a bit of a running joke). She took Cultural Anthropology with Jay and I in Fall '09, and sat right behind me. We both showed up before the class before let out, and we would stand in the hall completely silent. I always wanted to say something to her; to strike up a conversation, but I thought for sure she was too cool so I never tried. Even though I know now that she is too cool, I wish I had tried. I'm really happy I got to know her, and I miss being interrupted by her sudden excitement that would be triggered by whatever I was talking about.

-Jake is, wait for it... intense (another inside joke). Seriously, you should see the guy when he hasn't been at the mercy of a razor or hair clippers for an extended period of time. On a slighty more serious note, Jake is the friend I wish I would have had for longer than I have already. He's so damn laid back as to make me worry less about whatever trouble I may be having. We have conversations as much as we have running commentary on any number of things. We are both jaded, yet expectant; cynical, yet hopeful; tired, yet enthusiastic. I wouldn't trade Jay (or Dale (Jay's girlfiend)(again, more later))) or Ashley for anything, and that goes double for Jake. There's a Japanese word without an exact English equivalent that means "more than friends, but not blood-related family"; nakama (仲間). Jake is my 'nakama.'

-Dale, as I mentioned before, but haven't really talked about yet, is Jay's girlfriend, but she's so much more. She's like a lone voice of reason among the group, and we always manage to talk over her! She's incredibly sweet, very intelligent and just as irrepressible as Jay. They're about as married as two people can get without a ceremony, and we let them know this often. Dale also attends the prestigious University of Southern California, so that's really awesome too. Also, I'm sorry this is shorter than the rest Dale. It's nothing to do with quality, haha.

So now where was I? Oh yes, the epic awesomeness that was 2010. I'll be more succinct going on. With the reformation of the Anthropology club came the issue of a club trip. Seeing as how Jay, Ashley and I made up the majority of the club leadership it came to us to plan the trip. The general idea of going to the Washington peninsula for a cultural event was eventually decided on. Jay did most all of the paper/legwork, but we soon discovered that because the trip fell outside of the Spring quarter we wouldn't receive any money from the school.

Undeterred, we decided to make a smaller trip out of it with just the five of us. We would drive to Renton and spend the night at Jake's dad's place before heading out to Neah Bay the next day. Ashley, Jake and I drove together in Jake's "Magic Van" (the side door opened by remote, like magic!) while Jay and Dale drove up in Jay's brand new car! We had a great time at Jake's dad's. We barbecued and had what was essentially a slumber party in the living room. We had also decided it would be a camping trip, so with tents and sleeping bags in tow we made our way out to the peninsula, and Neah Bay.

The cultural event we attended involved members from Native American tribes canoeing along the coast to this point as tradition. It was great being there with everybody, and it was really cool to see such a thing. Once that was done we went to a hiking spot within a few miles of the town and did some hiking. It was a lot of fun snapping pictures of what was truly beautiful nature. Among other things:
-Jay almost died trying to take a picture, but I saved him,
-We were on the very edge of Washington, which is where Jay almost died
-We met a nice older couple that took our picture, and refused to believe Ashley knew how to operate a camera
-Despite having a cane, Jake is very adept at navigating uneven terrain while hitting somebody with the cane
-I don't think I'd have gotten as many cool pictures as I did if Dale wasn't pointing all of it out to us

The time soon came for us to find a suitable camp site. After hours of driving we decided on a site about 45 minutes outside of Forks (yes, that Forks) mainly because it was the one with vacancy. We set up camp after procuring some supplies and had a grand time reminiscing about our trip so far. It was easily the best time I'd had all year, and I will always think back on it fondly. I was with friends I had come across purely by chance, but they are true friends no matter what the circumstances.

For years I thought that I could go it alone because for years I had been alone. I had friends, but they were either online or not close enough (physically or emotionally) to spend that kind of time with me. I thought that I was strong enough to make it, and though I might be, after knowing such friendship again I don't want to find out.

So to Ashley, Dale, Jay and Jake; I love you all. We might not be going out to lunch after school anymore, but I'm so happy that we did and I'm looking forward to future cool kid hangoutz, trips or just talking to each other. You have all made my life so much better, and I just wanted you all to know that.

Thank you.

A political message

2010-10-26T12:06:00.001-07:00

Bloated, runaway military spending.

Constant denial of rumors of a 'Death Star.'

Continued proliferation of the Rebel Alliance.

This is the legacy left behind by Grand Moff Tarkin. General Zevulon Veers looks to continue this trend of shady deals and back room politics.

Admiral Firmus Piett has worked to fight against the kind of corruption Veers has brought upon the Empire. Piett is a veteran of the Battle of Hoth, and grew up in the Outer Rim, which is more than can be said of Veers.

Don't let the rule of Grand Moff Tarkin continue. He's dead, and zombies make terrible leaders.

A speech about me?

2010-09-22T00:11:00.000-07:00

Surely the title jests? Nope.

School has started back up and I already have an assignment for one of my classes. The one I'm going to share is from my speech class. We had to write a two minute maximum speech to read in front of the class, and this is mine. I timed it to 1:25 in an uninterrupted somewhat speedy recital, so I should fit neatly within that two minute marker.

And just so we're clear, the :rimshot: denotes an actual rimshot that I will be playing at that point in my speech. Oh yeah, I'm going all out.

When some of you look at me, I’m sure that what you may see is a shiftless guy in his early 20’s, coasting through life and is only in this class because it’s a pre-req for the AA he wants. Well, you’d be wrong. I’m in my late 20’s. :rimshot:

I’m not any of those other things either, but the joke wouldn’t work otherwise.

I’m 28, I like to read, watch TV, and write. I even came in first place in the poetry division for LitFest back in May. I play video games but not nearly as much as I used to, and I play guitar. I also like to watch anime and read manga. Not the kind some of you may be thinking of, just so we’re clear. That’s not really important, but it’s important to me.

I work at Red Lion in Kennewick as a dish washer, and though I hate my job sometimes, it has taught me some valuable lessons. One of those lessons I even thought up myself; everything is a mess, it’s just a matter of how organized it is. If you saw the place after I’ve been gone a couple days then you’d know what I mean.

Okay seriously though, I don’t like to take much seriously. I’m perfectly capable of doing so, but I feel that if humor can legitimately be found in a serious situation then it shouldn’t be ignored. It shouldn’t be unceremoniously trotted about either, but if you’ve been through enough crap in your life you’ll eventually learn the correct timing for such a thing. And a well placed rimshot, literal or otherwise, doesn’t hurt.

I like what I've got there, so all that's left now is to let my natural showmanship shine through and deliver one hell of a performance. It should be great!

note: If I should bomb, let's all pretend this never happened.

Wrong numbers are funny things

2010-09-12T19:48:00.001-07:00

I have to warn those of you who are averse to swearing and practically non-existent grammar because the following blog post contains both, and will not be edited. I've got to preserve this for posterity after all.

When I was at work today I received a phone call from an unknown number. I answered just to be sure it wasn't somebody I knew, and it wasn't. The caller asked for 'B', and I informed her she had the wrong phone number. When I didn't hear a response I hung up. I thought nothing more of it and went back to cleaning.

Not wanting to listen to the radio anymore, I used a small set of speakers we have at work and hooked them up to my iPhone to listen to Pandora (I'll need to do a separate post about that bit of nonsense). About 20 minutes in, the song that was on started to skip. I chalked it up to the wifi acting up, but when I went to look at the artist currently playing, I saw the following:

Unknown number: So now ur fuckin that ugly fat bitch... Fuck u Brian, ur a bitch in my eyes now. Live ur life without me now, forget u ever even knew me Brian... I hope ur happy now, and getting whatever the fuck i didnt give u. I dislike u so much and wish i would have never even knew u. U have broken me so bad, and i hope ur happy for that u mutherfucker.

Now, I can only assume this young lady is upset. About what exactly, I don't know, but it obviously has something to do with Brian. Maybe even the previously mentioned 'B'. Possibly. I replied of course:

Me: Uh, this isn't Brian. Sorry he made you so mad, but you might want to get the number right next time.

I had a feeling this wouldn't be enough to persuade her I wasn't the Brian she was looking for, or to stop texting me. I was correct.

Upset girl: Oh i got the number right bitch... I know u guys are fuckin, he puts it out there that this is his phone too... I know u'll relay this to him sence guys are together now. I hope he brakes u the way he has done me everyone of his other gurls. I hope u guys have a good life of hell together.

Well now, whatever this Brian hath wrought upon this poor girl must have been a real doozy. I didn't want her to continue to waste her energy on somebody that didn't deserve it however, so I called the number and left a nice message that went something like this, though it's not verbatim.

Me again: Hey, this is the guy who's number you keep texting. Like I said before, I'm not Brian and I don't know who he is. I'm sorry that he's given you so much grief. But hey, life can be like that sometimes and you really shouldn't let it get you down. Please though, stop texting me. I mean, I've got a pretty high limit anyway, but like I said, I'm not Brian. Laters.

Just to be absolutely sure, I took the following picture and texted that to her.

The phone call and the picture seemed to be enough, because I got another text a few minutes later.

Calmer girl: Ok, Im Wrong... I Got The Numbers Mixed Up. Im So Sorry and Am So Embarrassed. Please Forgive Me About All This? It Wont Happen Again... Sorry

Apparently she was sorry enough to capitalize all but one of the words. It was an honest mistake, and I replied as such.

Me: It's okay. I hope you get the bastard good if he is cheating on you though. Have a nice day :)

Her: U too! Sorry about that once again.

Obviously I won't share the number, but I also won't share the name of the poor girl who felt the need to so vocally (textually?) lash out at whoever this asshole Brian is, or 'B' as his friends and loved ones like to call him. If only all wrong numbers could be this hilarious.

Jobs past come to haunt me...

2010-08-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

If you've worked retail, I feel it's only right that I warn you the following blog may dredge up long buried memories of idiots gnawing away at your sanity and IQ points with their never ending need of stuff.

My first retail job was at Best Buy, but I didn't really have any problems there. Hastings is where the real problems with working retail started to crop up, and to this day I still remember some of the more... fascinating idiots and instances.

The more readily remembered problems come from when I had to work in the book section of the store. Now, I love books. I don't read them as much as I should, but a lot of people don't either apparently. Despite this, they seem to have passing knowledge of books that may or may not have existed. It was common for somebody to ask for a book, but give only the barest of details:

"Do you have a book?" (I don't know, do we?) "It has a dog in it, but I think the dog dies... maybe not. But the family is really sad because of something with the dog... but it might have been a cat. So can you tell me where it is?"

I enjoy being helpful, I really do, but when I'm given an impossible task and then a dirty look/comment when I can't deliver (through no fault of my own), I want to get off the ride. There were a couple times when I had to work books that I would take off my name tag, sit down in a chair and read a book. At least I was lucky to be trusted enough to not be checked up on.

Yet as bad as the book section could be, it doesn't hold a candle to working the register. After all, not everybody will go over to books, but they all will go to the register if they're buying something. I have plenty of stories to tell about stupid customers berating me for asking to check their ID when they pay with their debit card, or getting angry when I wouldn't help them cheat the buy two get one free system.

No. They pale in comparison to the contingent promotions we had to suffer through. Y'know, the "If this doesn't happen, the customer gets this" kind of thing. The Hastings version was if the worker at the register didn't ask the customer if they wanted to buy a Snickers, they would get one for free. The promotion details were in plain sight at the register so it was hard to miss, and when something free is on the line it doesn't get missed.

Conceptually, it's easy to remember to ask a customer if they'd like to buy a Snickers, but it doesn't hold up in practice. Especially after five hours of it. It would be so damn frustrating to not miss a beat for hours, only to forget to ask an obnoxious jerk who rubs it in your face. For instance, a soccer mom who poked me in the chest and laughed, calling me incompetent as she did so. Is it any wonder that I can come off as bitter? There were so many times I wished I could fire back at them, like so:

"Look, I'm exhausted. I've been at this for about seven hours now, and I'm here another two. So you have essentially outsmarted a practically non-responsive lump of clay. Good job. Here's your #$@&ing Snickers." And then I throw it at them. Or better yet, smash the Snickers and drop it in their bag. The promotion says nothing of the condition their candy will be in after all.

There were a few shining spots where I was able to reverse my mistake. A teenage girl got all snotty and excited when I forgot to ask the question, to which I replied. "Well, I actually have until the transaction is over, and it's not. So would you like to buy a Snickers?" I'd never seen a smile wither into a frown that fast before or since. It made my day.

What I've written here is just the tip of an iceberg that extends far into the frigid depths of the hell known as unrewarding customer service in a retail environment. For all the crap I put up with, I had friends there and they helped to make it pretty enjoyable. Maybe I'll talk about them some time for a happy blog post.

Inception

2010-07-18T01:27:00.001-07:00

Makes me want to be the best writer I can be.

I'll put more here when I get around to it.

You and Your Waylon Jennings: Live!

2010-07-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

Below is a video of me reciting my winning poem at the LitFest awards ceremony. Either because mine was the shortest of all the winning entries, or because none of the other poetry winners wanted to, I was the only one to read that night. I wanted to say a lot more, but I didn't really know how much time I had up there. So naturally, I said the one thing that I felt mattered the most: I wrote it for a friend, and not to win.

It still amazes me that I won, and it's renewed my sense of confidence that I can be successful as a writer. I hope to do a lot of writing for my summer vacation, and I plan on submitting my stuff to different publications as well. Though I am planning to keep my expectations realistic, I think I have a pretty good chance of getting something published.

If you give a mouse a cookie...

2010-06-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

...it’s going to want a glass of milk. If you give it a glass of milk, it’s going to ask for a straw. If you give it a straw, it’s going to be much too big, and that little mouse will surely asphyxiate on the sharp red plastic instrument of death you gave it to drink the milk to wash down the cookie you gave it.

Soon enough the mouse’s family will learn about what transpired and they will file a wrongful death lawsuit. Because the mouse you so heartlessly killed has such a huge family, they have many connections and hire some of the best attorneys they can get. The initial legal proceedings will seem to drag on forever, and no matter how you beg and plead, the judge will refuse to throw out the case simply because “they’re mice!”

When the trial proper finally does start, it will not only be a major financial drain, but it will be an emotional one as well. The long nights staying up with your defense attorneys (who are frankly no match for the legal team representing the deceased mouse’s family) makes your wife feel neglected even though you’ve explained to her time and again that this is all necessary if she doesn’t want her husband going to prison for killing a mouse.

A few months into the trial however, you and your wife have decided on a trial separation (y’know, just to give each other some space (which you already had because of the lawsuit)). With the added stress of your wife having left you, the trial begins to eat away at your sanity.

Every day you have to fight to ignore all of the furious squeaking coming from all of the mice in the gallery, all there with the hope that you be found guilty. When it finally comes time for you to take the stand, you can’t believe what you are seeing: mice damn near everywhere, and all of them hate you (except for maybe Terrence, because he’s always had it in for Steve (the mouse you killed) but he has to act like he’s angry so he doesn’t arouse the suspicion of his family).

Just as you are about to snap under all of the pressure and sheer lunacy of what has consumed your life over the past 11 months, Steve (the mouse you apparently didn’t kill) storms into the courtroom and demands they set you free, as all along it was Terrence that tried to kill him. Terrence denies it, but he is arrested on the spot and you are allowed to go free.

Months pass.

Your wife has come back, and things are essentially back to normal. Unfortunately, Terrence has escaped from prison, and you are first on his list of things to do… IN!

By giving animals rights, this kind of situation is to be expected. So, given all of this information, would you still give a mouse a cookie?

I wrote all of this for my Intro to Ethics class. We have readings assigned every day and we have to write at least a page about what we read. The page is called a ticket, and if I don't have a ticket I can't be in class that day. This particular reading was about how silly it was to give animals rights. So I decided to be funny with it.

Also, at the end of every ticket we have to ask a question that pertains to the reading, which is why it's there at the end there.

Being fiscally (ir)responsible

2010-05-19T13:47:00.001-07:00

For years, about 10 or so, the family television has served us well. It's a great television with a fairly decent sized screen and nice picture. A couple months ago however, it started to malfunction. The top of the screen began folding over on top of itself. Think of the TV screen as a slinky. When it's compressed, the picture is fine and whole. If you take the topmost coils and fold it in front of it, they'll be spaced apart and showing whatever is on that part of the screen. Not only that, it was getting worse.

The original plan was to move my parents TV upstairs when they got a new one, or the problem with the old one became too much and they'd have to replace it. But I was given permission to buy a new one altogether. Me? Buy a television? Of course I've fantasized about owning such an electronic staple, but I never actually have. Since I was given the go ahead... well, let me explain that I don't pay rent in money, but in work. I really can't afford rent, so it would be a slap in the face to drop money I don't have on something I don't need (see how the 'don't need' wasn't italicized?). But, anyway.

I was given the go ahead to buy a TV so I started researching, and I decided that the TV I wanted would be 37"-40", 1080p and a Sony, LG or Sharp. Next was deciding where, but that was taken care of Monday night when I saw two options at Costco. One was a Philips 47" 1080p 60Mhz LCD, and the other a Sony 40" 1080p 120Mhz LCD and both were the same price. The Philips was bigger, but the Sony had double the refresh rate and looked bigger. I called my uncle Mike for advice and he asked about the refresh rate. I forgot the refresh rate for the Sony and assumed it too was 60, so I'm glad the call got me to take a close look at both. The Sony has a much clearer, less pixelized picture, so that's what I went with.

So, I present the unboxing pictures I took of my awesome new TV. One that I plan on having for a very, very long time, because I don't like dropping huge amounts of money on any one thing. By the way, the pictures were taken using my cell, and I have no idea how to properly arrange pictures on here.

ps. Love the TV, but I hate the way Blogger handles pictures.

There are so many people to thank...

2010-05-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. But the ones that do deserve thanks deserve big chunks of the stuff. If you're not a friend of mine on Facebook, or one of the people I called while all giddy with excitement (I can get giddy, why not?), I have won the writing competition of the Mid-Columbia Literary Festival. I'm under the impression that I've won the grand prize, which also includes first place in my category and division.

I submitted a work of fiction, and a poem, and the poem is what won. My story didn't win anything, but that's not too surprising as there's a lot left to be done with it. It'll be a book someday, but only because that's what it wants to be. Anyway, my poem. I'll put it at the end of the post, so if you want to skip past all this to read it you can. I won't be offended.

The poem itself was inspired by a girl I work with. She actually showed interest in what I wrote, and liked all of it. I told her I was going to write a poem about her, and it was going to be called You and Your Waylon Jennings. It didn't quite turn out the way I had expected, but I really liked what I had. She really liked it too, and that's really all that mattered.

Then it came time to turn in my journal for creative writing last quarter. I needed 32 journal entries, four poems at least 14 lines long, and a story at least 6 pages long. I had the entries, story, and three poems, and so I decided to toss in that one as well. When I got my journal back, the poem had a simple "Love this" written on it in red ink. I knew I'd be turning something in for the competition, so I figured why not this poem.

I turned it in on April 16, and up until a couple days ago, I thought it had a chance to win. Then I looked over the rules and saw I'd get a call or letter in late April. It having just turned May, I shrugged my shoulders and gave a sigh of "Oh, well. At least I tried." It was until I got home from school today when my mom asked if I'd heard the "great news." Being all dreary I told her I didn't know of any great news.

When she told me I just about lost it. I couldn't believe that I had won. I thought at first I'd just gotten first place in my division, but she's almost positive I won the grand prize. I'm trying my best to stay level headed, but it's just not working. I'm stopping into the coordinator's office tomorrow to verify, but with how excited she was on the phone I think I got the grand prize. She even wants me to read it in front of the audience, which I'll be more than happy to do. I'll be leaving work early to go do it, and I'm secretly hoping I'll get to say a few words too.

I'm just really happy that I won, and I'm hoping somebody :cough:Lisa:cough: will be able to record it all. I want the people I want to thank get to hear/see it :) So, without further ado, my poem...

You and Your Waylon Jennings

You and your Waylon Jennings,
crooning from your Toyota
factory standard speakers.
Is that how you hear him?
Or are you there,
inside the studio?
The crumbling black
of the padded walls
for better acoustics, not
the hysterics you must be in.
Watching it happen, laying
down the master tracks you love
so dearly. No static here,
or aged fidelity.

And that's it... I still can't believe I won. I'm happy. :)

Read this. I'm not even kidding, just read it

2010-04-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight at work, my friend/boss Brandon was cleaning out the freezer and found that box right there. He called me over and told me to look at what it said. As you can plainly see, it's a box full of Aunt Jemima's Original Pancakes. Nothing out of the ordinary...

Then he turned it slightly and showed me the words French Toas (let's just pretend there's a 'T' there, mmkay?) handwritten on the side. Okay, "That's a bit off" I thought. But then...

Wait for it...

Yes. Your eyes are not deceiving you, and this isn't a different box. There were waffles inside of the pancake box, marked as having french toast.

I guess I should have warned those of you with a history of brain hemmorrhaging, but I didn't get a warning either. Anyway, these are the kinds of shenanigans that will be gotten up to in a kitchen environment.

It was supposed to be a "transient" position...

2010-04-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the 24th, marked my two year anniversary of working at Red Lion as a dishwasher. This is the longest I've ever had the same job, and I owe that to the people that I work and have worked with. It also has a lot to do with the fact that I don't have to deal with the public.

Directly anyway. Yes, I'm aware that I'm essentially dealing with the food remnants left behind by groups of people ranging in size from small, large and why don't you all just go somewhere else?!, but it's still easier to deal with than people. I don't think I would have been able to put up with it if I hadn't worked at Amazon.com before.

I almost quit after a couple weeks because the previous dishwasher kept telling me how poorly I was doing. It's true that I wasn't the fastest dishwasher, but everything that came out of the machine was clean. It was this slowness that helped me to lose around 15 pounds. I never had time to eat, so I drank water which in turn was sweated away. Somewhat unfortunately, I got faster at my job and the weight came back. There aren't many healthy options when short order items are all you've got to feed yourself with.

Working strictly evenings also made it easier when I decided to go back to school. The problem with working evenings however, is that I wasn't always able to get out at a reasonable time. I had a strong motivator to get out before 10, but sometimes even that wasn't enough. Like the time I worked a 13 hour shift.

One day, a couple months after I started, I was scheduled from 11AM to Close. When I left the house, nobody saw me go and I didn't have a cell phone yet so I couldn't call or be reached by anybody; this would lead to trouble. There were three events that day that each had over 150-200 people, and I would be handling it all myself.

It was hell in a poorly ventilated dishpit.

Except for a 10 minute break seven hours in, I worked non-stop. I just kept telling myself that it would be over eventually and to just keep going. To illustrate how long this shift was, KaTrina called the hotel around 11:30 and asked to speak to the dishwasher. She was transferred to the lounge because I couldn't hear the phone, and Summer (the bartender that night, who still works there and is a friend) came to find me outside, emptying the trash.

"Are you Kelly?"
"Yeah, that's me. Do you need something?"
"No, it's just you have a phone call."

I was too tired to be surprised or curious, so I followed her back to the lounge and took the phone. The following is kind of a summation as I was half dead at the time it took place.

"Hello?"
"Kelly, are you alright? This is KaTrina."
"Oh, hey. What's up?"
"What? Where have you been? Your family and I have been worried about you."
"I've been at work."
"At work!?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, I should be done soon."
"When did you get to work?"
"At 11. I've just been working."
"Okay, but you had us scared."
"I'm sorry. There's just a few more things to do and that's it."
"Good. Don't stay much longer. Good night Kelly."
"Good night. Thanks for calling, I should be fine now."

And then I worked another hour and a half, haha. It's funny to think about it now, but that day just sucked. I've gotten a lot better, so that will never happen again, but it can still be really taxing to clean up after so many people. The huge Mother's Day brunch is coming up, and though it's my third time doing it, I'm still worried. Maybe that's why dishwashers never have the job for more than a few months.

But I've always been an outlier when it comes to statistics :) Here's hoping I won't have a third anniversary post.

28th Birthday Post Mortem Pt 2: Happy Endings

2010-03-05T17:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry this took so long to get up, but I just haven't been in a posting mood. It was a chore to even get the last post up. Today was a really good day though, and it has something to do with my birthday so here we go :)

Though I had my birthday party the day before, I was taken out to dinner at Red Lobster on my birthday by my fabulous mother. I went through plenty of cheddar bay biscuits, and almost all of my shrimp. After that we went to the mall to get my birthday present: a jacket from Old Navy that I'd had my eye on for a couple months. Unfortunately, they were all out and weren't getting any more in. It was disappointing, but my Mom felt worse about it than I did. She suggested I leave it for my birthday, and, well, this happened.

She more than made up for it by buying me five volumes of my favorite manga One Piece. It's going through a sped up release schedule, with five volumes per month, so it was a great help :)

But that jacket. I wanted that jacket. It was so cool!

It looked like this.

GASP! Is that the jacket that I wanted? Why yes it is! I had today off, and I was once again sitting on the couch, looking around online when I decided I would go out and DO something with my day off.

I went out to the mall expecting to look around the few stores I frequent (Barnes and Noble, Old Navy, and GameStop) and have lunch at Chico's Tacos. After a quick glance through B&N, I went to Old Navy and began looking around not expecting to get anything when I saw it.

Once I confirmed it was the jacket I wanted, I called my Mom to let her know she didn't need to feel bad anymore. She shouldn't have felt bad to begin with, as she was only telling me to be patient and responsible with my money.

That doesn't matter now though, as she is officially off the hook, and I got the birthday present that I wanted. Since I was feeling pretty good about finding the jacket, I thought I would spoil myself a bit and maybe get something else while I was out. I got lucky though :)

I bought a new copy Advance Wars: Days of Ruin for the DS for super cheap ($10 instead of the usual price of $35), and volumes 34 and 35 of One Piece (leaving 36-38 for later). I also treated myself to lunch at Chico's. All in all, a very good day. And now...

... I can finally look cool.

The birthday posting isn't quite over yet. I still have pictures of the incredible cake that I had for my birthday, and that will take a post in and of itself.

Not only that I was really hoping to hang out with my friend Amber on my birthday too, but she's been in the cold grip of multiple employers so unfortunately that wasn't an option. She even got me a present, so until I get it my birthday isn't quite over yet. Just come back for part 3!

28th Birthday Post-Mortem Pt 1.

2010-02-23T10:38:00.000-08:00

Celebrating my birthday came early this year. My sister Courtney got me my first present around the 11th. She got me chocolate frosted donettes from Wal-Mart, a thing of Peachy-O's, a couple balloons (helium filled, mind you) and a card. The outside of the card read: "Know what you're getting for your birthday?" and the inside was blank :) I got a great laugh out of it, and it might be one of my favorite birthday cards ever.

Skip forward to last Friday, and the really cool stuff happened. I got to go see Everclear in concert! I've been waiting about 14 years to see them, and even though it's not the same lineup it was still incredible. I got my picture taken with Art and got an autograph too. I went with my friends Mindy and Andrew so the trip was a lot of fun too.

I missed the deadline to request the entire weekend off, so I had to work Saturday, but that went by really quick. I did manage to request Sunday and Monday off however, so Sunday dinner became my birthday dinner with the family. Donald and Lisa got me an awesome song writing book, so I'll be putting good and extended use to that for sure. So Sunday was a very good and relaxing prologue to my actual birthday on Monday.

When I realized my birthday fell on a Monday, I decided I would stay home from school. Yes, I can hear your collective gasps and takings of umbrage, but it's my birthday. Don't worry, I'm here today and I won't be absent again.

So taking advantage of my truancy, I slept in 'til about 9:40 when I got a text from my friend Mike wishing me a happy birthday. He was second only to KaTrina, who wished it to me on Facebook at 5:19AM PST (7:19AM CST). She's always very punctual. I didn't get a present from her (yet?), but then again, I never told her what I would like.

I have an idea in mind, but I'll leave that for Part 2 of my 28th Birthday Post-Mortem Extravaganza Spectacular!

Obligatory Birthday Post

2010-02-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm 28 today.

...yup. That's all I've got.

I'll add more if the need arises.

When parking is a commodity...

2010-02-18T10:33:00.001-08:00

You don't sit in your damn car with your tail lights on!

It's nerve wracking driving to school in the morning. I have to put up with drivers that are content to drive five miles under the speed limit, refuse to merge in a timely manner, and get in the way of everybody. Once that's over with though, and I get to school, I still need to get a parking space. There are more students that drive than there are parking spots, so just imagine what kind of hell that can be.

I get to school this morning and classes still have two minutes before they let out, and that translates to four minutes at least until students get out to their cars. It doesn't seem like it will be a problem, because there's a red Dodge Durango sitting with it's tail light on. I don't care where you're from, but that's a universal symbol for "I'm backing up now." Some people take longer to do it, but they eventually get out of the spot.

So I wait. I keep waiting. I keep patiently waiting for this nice lady to get her shit together and move! By then, a truck was sitting behind me ignoring me as I tried to wave him around. So I decided to see what was going on.

I got out of my car and walked up to the driver's side of the idling, red Durango. I knocked on the window, spooking the lady (good) who rolled down her window and asked in a very rude way,

"What?"
"Umm, sorry, but are you moving?" I asked, very politely I might add.
"No." she replied, again, very rudely, as she was rolling up her window.

I smiled, said "Thanks." and went back to my car, ignoring the burning urge to do anything rude back. I didn't honk, shout "Then turn off your damn lights!", or make any gesture. I just got back in my car and found an even better parking spot.

But damn. The bitch knows that people are desperate for parking, and there's no reason to have your lights on teasing and tricking the people desperate for parking. I'll just be content with the fantasy of her suffering the annoyance as me.

Or getting a rock through her rear window from somebody with zero tolerance for jerks. Either or really, I'm not picky.

My reputation precedes me, apparently

2010-02-10T21:39:00.000-08:00

Working in a pit isn't exactly how you gain notoriety, but where there's complete lack of effort to change that, there's a way.

I got a text from my boss during Archaeology today, asking me to call him as soon as possible. My first thought was "Great, I need to come in early to take care of that 275 person breakfast buffet we had this morning", but that wasn't the case: Brandon has my back when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Instead, he was letting me know that Pasco would be short on dishwashers from Thursday to Tuesday and they wanted me to cover it. I think I was asked for specifically, but I'm not entirely sure. Still, whenever a dishwasher is needed the banqueteers are usually tapped, so it's surprising that I'm the one stuck with it. Regardless, I'll be working there Saturday and Monday.

I've never been in the Pasco Red Lion kitchen, but my friend Mike says it's a confusing place. Great. The dish washing machine they have there is supposedly new, but if it's anything like any dishwasher ever, I'll still have to clean everything before I send it through. So my co-workers in Kennewick don't have to worry about me not coming back.

I'm not looking forward to closing a different kitchen, or being a foreign exchange employee, but at least it's only two days. It's no fun being famous. /sarcasm

I can be pretty smart sometimes

2010-02-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

Last quarter, I took Cultural Anthropology and I learned a nifty new term: Ethnocentrism.

Ethnocentrism essentially the belief that one's culture is better than all others. Obviously this isn't a desirable quality to have. There really is no best culture. Yes, I know, America is pretty kick ass, but we're not the best at everything.

For the last few months, I've really started to get annoyed at the condemnation of current cultures and societies for what happened hundreds or thousands of years ago. For example...

The Crusades? Well that's proof right there that Christianity is evil and anybody who practices it is evil as well and must be stopped!

Slavery? Any person or family who owned slaves at any time at all is a horrible person and must be regarded as unethical trash. Which was almost all of the "civilized" world until a couple hundred years ago, by the way.

Now, there is no question that the Crusades and slavery were horribly wrong. Trying to "retake" land that wasn't stolen in the first place, and reducing people to property is evil. We know that now. Back then however, it was just the way things were.

This is where the smart comes in. I've been trying to think of a word, like ethnocentrism, that means believing that humanity at a certain time is superior to all other times. It wasn't until tonight that I came up with the word Chronocentrism that means just that. I was pretty happy with myself to be honest.

Just to make sure I was being original, I started typing it into google when seven letters in, the word popped up. Apparently I wasn't being original, as American sociologist and criminologist Dr. Richard C. Monk (thanks Wikipedia) coined and used the term already.

Even so, I stand by my smartness in that I came up with it on my own and without a fancy PhD.

When did that get there?

2010-01-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

In May of last year, I started another blog where I would put the stories I would be working on during summer vacation. That... kind of happened? I put what is essentially dialogue outline, and a more fleshed out version of part of that dialogue. After that, nothing. For months there were those two posts collecting dust and falling to the bottom of whatever "Blog Suggestion" (or whatever you may call them) sidebars they were in.

Not anymore!

Behold! My resuscitated literary blog! Stranger and Fiction!

Thanks to my Creative Writing class I'll actually be writing! And whatever I write will go right in there. I may even put in some of my thoughts on the short stories and poems I've read. Poetry can be a very effective way to paint a very full and beautiful picture with just a few words, and everybody should be able to enjoy it. I really do think I've been blessed to be so easily able to discern and translate literature.

I hope that people check out my other blog and let me know what they think. A writer will go nowhere without the opinions of others. Yeah, I just came up with that :P

How I Feel

2010-01-19T00:55:00.001-08:00

Like a warming light
Sometimes dulled, but always present
Your singing voice lifts me up
And makes everything... better

A question is raised

2010-01-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

I won't pretend to understand the physiology of sentient popcorn kernels, but wouldn't the sudden accelerated expansion and venting of the kernel's innards cause an immediate state of inertness?

Translation: Do they die when they pop?

Hehe, sorry. I forgot to include the non-bureaucratic speak version :P

I call it Bureaucratese.

Not Dead. Here's Proof!

2010-01-10T01:26:00.000-08:00

I'm back in school, and I've already finished week 1. I don't think I went over my class schedule, so here it is

Japanese Second Quarter 9:10 - 10:10 MTWT
Archaeology 11:30 - 12:30 MTWT
Creative Writing 12:40 - 2:50 MW

Japanese 122 - Picking up where I left off with Japanese 121, we're learning three kanji a day and there are no more romaji. Kanji is essentially the Japanese version of a word, and Romaji is the English phonetic equivalent meant to help those who can't read hiragana or katakana. Which I can

Anthropology 204: Archaeology - This will be my fourth time taking a class with this professor. No, we're not looking for lost treasure or trying to find hidden civilizations. This is a class for what is known as Anthropological Archaeology. We'll be learning about the major concepts, theories and methods to help understand our past.

Creative Writing - Duh. It's going to be awesome. It's two hours, but it's only on Monday and Wednesday. Obviously I'm most excited about this class because I'll finally have a reason to write: Grades. Oh, and the money I get for getting good grades. It's like I'm being paid to write, so I better do it while I can. I also can't wait to really learn and gain more confidence in my writing abilities. Maybe then I'll stop holding myself back from just writing when I want to!

Anyway, this was longer than I'd intended it to be, and I'm going to bed. Sleeping is likely to follow, but I can't promise myself anything.

My haul this year (Amended)

2009-12-26T15:23:00.000-08:00

As I told one of my friends at work the other day:

"I have some rather sad news. I appear to be maturing and turning into a bona fide adult."
"Why would you say that?"
"I asked for a book for Christmas. And not even one that's fiction. It's a non-fiction one called Guns, Germs, and Steel."
"Sounds cool."
"Yeah, I'm really excited to get it and start reading."
"Too bad about the 'adult' thing though."
"Oh, I'm sure I'll get over it."

And besides, it's not like the book that I want isn't about a very interesting topic, and the title is just awesome. My anthropology professor recommended it plenty of times during the quarter, and he's someone who's opinion I trust. I'm in the middle of Under the Dome by Stephen King right now, but I can't stop reading it for the life of me, so pretty soon I'll be able to start reading my new book. Well, make that books.

Cue picture.

I was with my mom in Barnes & Noble and I showed her Guns, Germs, and Steel and told her I would really like a copy. Then I noticed another book by the same author. I picked it up and was immediately interested. Even she said it looked like it would be worth a look and likely a good read. So I was really happy to get a copy of Collapse today.

My Christmas wasn't all serious with the smart people books, as I got a toy R/C helicopter. It's taking a bit to really learn the controls, but I should have it down soon enough and be able to fully enjoy the toy I got for Christmas. I sincerely doubt it will be my last. Because come on, who doesn't want something fun for fun's sake for Christmas.

I'm not an adult quite yet you know :)

And if you noticed the previous title of this post as having a '(so far)' in it, and now having an (Amended) instead, the next photo will make that change clear:

I still had one more present to unwrap when I went over to my brother's house last night, and I got this! No, not the computer. That happened in this post. What I got is a very handy and useful laptop lapdesk!For me, it's always nice to get something practical for Christmas, because I can never bring myself to buy something I need. Buying something I don't need? Oh, no problem there. I got that covered.

All in all, I had a good Christmas this year.

Merry no longer Christmas!

Close calls in the workplace

2009-12-15T21:20:00.000-08:00

I got a call around 3:30 today from my boss asking if I knew I was supposed to be at work. This surprised me, because I could have sworn that I didn't work until 5. Nope, today I was scheduled 2-8. So naturally I changed into my work clothes and headed out as quickly as the icy streets would allow me (it took 20 minutes instead of the usual 12), and got to work about two hours late.

That's not what this post is about though. After organizing all of the dishes, and washing some of the bigger ones, the drain was beginning to back up from all the food clutter and dirty water down there. Lovely image, I know. Well, when I turned on the garbage disposal there was a loud metallic SHINK, and like a bolt of silver quickness, a knife shot from the drain.

Only because of pure instinct was I able to keep track of the knife as it flew through the air, hit the ceiling outside of the dishpit and fell with a clang on the red tile floor. I couldn't help but yell out an expletive appropriate to what I'd just witnessed, which was closely followed by "That could have killed me."

Now I don't want any "Next time be sure"'s or "Don't forget"'s. This was a freak accident. And there have been plenty of times when I've checked to make sure there was no silverware down there, only to hear the familiar grind and clank when I turned it on.

I really wish everybody could have seen it though. It was incredible.

My hobby?

2009-12-12T15:10:00.000-08:00

This

Something about that song...

2009-12-12T02:32:00.001-08:00

Whenever I hear the Cheers theme song, I just feel... better. The only reason for this that I can think of is that my parents watched it and I just heard it all the time growing up. So I can only come to the conclusion that I was a happy child.

It makes staying up until two in the morning to watch episodes of Cheers worth it.

I don't know quite why I stopped churning out blog posts, but the school quarter ending likely had a lot to do with it. I have more ideas for blog posts, and some old ones that I just haven't been able to get onto the digital page.

Maybe Sunday when I'm not working at the Sunday brunch!

The McRib

2009-11-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been 10 days already? That went by really quick. This entry will be pretty quick too, but not lacking in the "Awww" factor.

The other day, I was really lazy and hungry so I decided to go to McDonalds to get something to eat. As I pulled up to the order board, I noticed the familiar red, form pressed slab of pork (that's doubtful, but I'm being generous here), that is the McRib. I was grossed out, but just before that, I got a smile on my face.

Whenever I think about that disgusting sandwich, I'm reminded of my Grandpa. How such a brilliant mind could be swayed by subpar barbecue sauce and what is essentially the equivalent of particle board in the meat world is beyond me, but he loved him some McRib.

I think it's nice of McDonalds to keep the sandwich around just to remind me of my Grandpa when I least expect it. So does unadhered to dress codes, but that's for another time.

Amen Rowlf... Amen

2009-11-19T00:31:00.000-08:00

I'm having a heck of a time finding an mp3 of this song to put on my Zune. This song has always resonated with me, and it's doing so now more than ever. I love this song.

Randomness

2009-11-16T19:15:00.001-08:00

Back when I worked for Amazon.com, I asked one of my buddies from my training class and group to give me a word, any word, and I'd make a story out of it. She e-mailed me back one word: Randomness. From that one word spawned my longest running and most often returned to story of one Arthur Barker dealing with a world filled with absolutely random events. We're talking crazy stuff here. Candy raining from the skies, lawns turned into large cities (scaled down of course), a lifeguard hovering over the Pacific ocean enforcing adult swim hours, and pretty much anything you can imagine.

There's a story proper of course, but to appease my friend Brandi I'll write little snippets that take place in the world of Randomness, but have no effect on the story as a whole. They're not canon I guess you can say. Anyway, there are some I'm quite proud of and I think Brandi's exclusivity deal has gone long enough, so I'm posting some of my favorites here.

Waking Up
Arthur turned over in his sleep, but happened to slip one eye part way open just in time to see his alarm clock (suddenly with legs) doing stretches. Both eyes popped open despite being halfway asleep.
"What are you doing?"
"It's 5AM, time for my morning run."
"Right. How silly of me... wait, I need to be up in two hours!"
"Can't say I'll be back by then, so sorry."

With that the alarm clock took off running, leaving Arthur behind in his bed.

"Little bastard's lucky my cell phone has an alarm." Arthur reached to where his cell phone was on the window sill, and saw it taking provocative pictures of itself. "Screw it, I'll get another job."

Much Too Loud
For Arthur, rubbing his temples had long been a necessity if he didn't want his head to explode. He had done it so long however, that now that he had a plain old headache, it just wasn't working. Even worse, his headache seemed to be directly tied to the volume... of everything.

Arthur never wanted to hear what it sounded like when a grasshopper was eating a smaller, less fortunate bug, but there it was (outside on his porch), snacking away. It didn't help that the smaller bug was still alive and screaming it's little insect scream that sounded as if a horrific murder was taking place in the next room.

"I will blow my brains out if this keeps going." The buggy scream got louder. "Finish getting eaten already!"
"Screw you, mammal! AAAAH-" The screaming ended abruptly.
"Thank God. Now where did that aspirin bottle go-"
"AHH! Now I'M getting eaten by a grasshopper!"
"Oh, come on!"

Arthur flung open his sliding glass door, located the piggish grasshopper and stomped on it as hard as he could. A choice he immediately regretted as the resounding STOMP sound practically bombed his eardrum out of existence. Literally. Thankfully, it immediately grew back, but it also kept ringing.

"Where the hell is the aspirin?"
"You killed me! You jerk!"
"AAAHH!!!" Arthur didn't care anymore, he stomped the grasshopper until it was only a greyish green spot on the concrete of his porch.

Note: The volume reset in his head when his seventh set of eardrums broke and the eighth set was normal.

Singularity
Arthur paused, his attention being dragged inexplicably to the right where he saw a small tear in the air. He walked around it once, seeing no change in its shape whatsoever. He reached out his index finger gingerly, as if he was five again and suddenly found a scab to pick at.

“Don’t pick at that!” A shrieking voice howled. Unfortunately, the voice made Arthur jump and poke his finger through the tear.
“Hmm, it feels a bit… Velcro-y… AAH!” The tear gripped onto his finger and pulled it in up to the second knuckle.
“I told you not to-“
“I wasn’t gonna pick at it!”
“Well don’t poke at it either.”
“Does it look like that matters now!?”
“Well I don’t know. I’m just here to tell people not to touch it.”
“Well, what is it?”
“That’s a very good question. Ooh!” The tear sucked Arthur’s finger all the way in, leaving him in a very awkward position. “Well, I’m going to go now. Good luck.”
“Wait! Hello?” Arthur looked around in futility as his finger started to go numb. “I hate disembodied voices.”

Now, when I eventually become a famous and successful writer, you can thank Brandi for giving me one of my cornerstone titles :)

Chances are you won't find these funny...

2009-11-14T15:04:00.000-08:00

A deadly standoff between a Soviet KGB agent and an American spy!
"Daspitanya, comrade."
"Eww, don't spit on me!"
"That's, that's not what that-"
"I know that's not what it means, but you spit on me dude. Jeez, no wonder Soviet and American relations are in the crapper, you guys can't aspirate your P's!"

A lovely conversation with Dan McCafferty (lead singer of Nazareth... yes, I know they just did a cover)
"Love is like a flame that burns when it's hot."
"Wow. You have a lot of similes for love don't you?"
"Love is like a toaster pastry that burns when it's hot."
"That get progressively worse, apparently."
"Love is like a pogo stick when you can't hop."
"My point exactly."
"Love is like evidence planted by a cop."
"Okay, I'm leaving now.
"Love is like a flu-"
"I am walking away!"

We're not quite sure what it was the cup loved, but it's certainly dead.

(But my friends and I think they're hilarious :)

To hobo, or not hobo

2009-11-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

Whenever it's been a few days since I last shaved, I always consider growing a beard. Then of course I remember how my goatees would itch sometimes, and I don't like the idea of that itching being all over my face.

So all of your collective gasps and screaming "NO!" at your computer screen (Yes, KaTrina. I can hear you from here.) can stop. I'm not growing a beard.

These are just the things that go through my head.

Oops

2009-11-12T14:51:00.000-08:00

I did actually write an entry titled Creative Dish Stacking Sub-Fields, I just accidentally posted it before I'd written anything. The real thing has been up for over a day now but not many people seem to have read it not that it's up. So, if you thought it wasn't there, it is. You can read it now.

Well, go on then.

Creative Dish Stacking Sub Fields

2009-11-11T00:14:00.000-08:00

In my previous post I mentioned that there were four sub-fields in Creative Dish Stacking... so far.

There are now FIVE sub-fields. I know, exciting right? Saturday, my boss Brandon built a structure out of dirty dishes with the intent of moving them from one place to another: thus the fifth sub-field 'Utilitarian' was created. But what of the other four? Oh don't worry, we'll be getting to a break down of each one riiiiiiiight... now!

Utilitarian
As the name implies, this sub-field contains all dish structures that are made for purpose over style. There isn't really anything special about this category, but it can produce somewhat impressive structures. They're incredibly unlikely to fall or fail, look very bland, and serve a purpose. There is potential to make Utilitarian structures more aesthetically pleasing, but going too far in that direction can invalidate this label. Which leads us into the next and arguably most important sub-field...

Applied Artistic
This is the sub-field that pretty much all of the structures I posted earlier fit under. To be honest, this was all Creative Dish Stacking was before the introduction of separate sub-fields. The goal of Applied Artistic is to make a structure that serves absolutely no purpose but to make something cool to look at and wonder how it was even put together. I'm considering making Applied Artistic and Utilitarian their own fields, and moving the next three sub-fields under Applied Artistic, but I'm not quite sure on that. I really enjoy having this kind of decision making power.

Potentially Disastrous
This sub-field shares some similarities with Applied Artistic, but what sets it apart is the potential for the structure's catastrophic failure. Structures with smaller bases, weak points for aesthetic/functional purposes, and containing some unproven/flimsy building materials fall into this category. This is where you'll find most amateur structures and some professional structures made out of sheer vanity that are doomed to fail.

Daredevil
This is where accomplished creative dish stackers go to push the boundaries of creative dish stacking. It takes some of the key elements of the Potentially Disastrous and Applied Artistic sub-fields and makes incredible structures in incredibly stupid places. The difference between this and Potentially Disastrous, is that the stacker is well aware of the likelihood of failure. Not only that, they'll put the structure in a place where it's more likely to be knocked over or just fall apart.

Needlessly Destructive
This is pretty much the red headed step child of Creative Dish Stacking sub-fields. No offense to any red headed step children out there, but this is where all of the truly boneheaded 'structures' go. This is where you find a tall pile of plates of varying sizes stacked together on top of a small bowl on the edge of the dishpit counter. Idiots thrive in the Needlessly Destructive sub-field and they don't even know it.

Note: I totally made all of this up. Pretty cool, yeah?

Fun At Work: Building Dish Structures

2009-11-07T12:13:00.001-08:00

Working as a dishwasher in a kitchen can be very boring. If there aren't any events going on and the restaurant is dead then there really isn't much to do if all the dishes are done, the garbages are taken out and the floors are swept and mopped.

It can also get really irritating to come into work and find piles of ill-arranged dishes taking up way too much space. The worst of these is finding a tower of plates stacked precariously on top of smaller plates, bowls, cups or creamers. I've written on here before that is taking these monstrosities down is akin to dismantling a nuclear bomb.

I started pointing these out to my friends Brandon and Mike and we all had a laugh at the laziness and stupidity that went into making them. So naturally, we took it as a challenge and started making our own beautiful dish structures.

Behold!

I call this one Silver Boxy.

It's made up of different
sized hotel pans, a metal
tong and a plate cover.

I built the main structure
and placed the metal
tong on top as a sort of
antenna. Otherwise the
structure would be some-
what bland.

When I showed it to
Brandon he completed it
by putting the plate cover
on top.

This one is all me however,
and I call it Monolith.

As you can see, it's made
of a whole lot of plate
covers and one load
bearing metal milkshake
cup.

I couldn't leave it up very
long because even though
it was structurally sound,
I didn't want to imagine
the kind of sound it would
have made if it had
fallen over.

It's simple and non-func-
tional :)

This one was made last
night and it caught me by
surprise.

I was washing plates from
a banquet when suddenly
I saw this standing there.

I had been the only one in
the kitchen for at least five
minutes, and I hadn't left
the dishpit in those five
minutes.

So, it was a stealth build.
A very impressive one at
that.

It's composed of a creamer,
a dinner plate, plastic tongs, some weird hourglass looking metal thing, a bowl, and an
empty coffee creamer cup. The bowl and the cup were added afterward, but they really
completed the piece. I dubbed it Future Modern.

And now, what I consider to be my ultimate creation in the field of creative dish stacking (though it really belongs in the sub-field of applied artistic dish stacking (there are four sub-fields so far)):

The Bloom
It consists of a caraffe, a round, dinner plates, small bowls, small metal bowls, and as is usually present in most creations, a plate cover.

It started out simple enough and with experimentation and balance it eventually morphed into what you see before you.

I showed it off to everybody in the kitchen and they all loved it.

What's funny is Mike tried to knock it over by throwing a wet towel at it.

Emphasis on the 'tried.'

No matter how many times he threw the towel he would always miss. I declared that the awesomeness of the structure had resulted in the creation of a force field. The picture really doesn't convey how cool this thing was. I'm just glad I got a picture of it before I had to take it down.

I'm really proud of the creations my friends and I come up with at work. We have some ideas in mind for future projects, such as building a bridge across the dishpit or just making something so ridiculously huge that if it were to fall over... well, it's best not to jinx it.

Pumpkin Carving Contest Results

2009-11-04T22:37:00.000-08:00

I won.

Well, technically my pumpkin won.

The person doing the judging declared it the winner, but for some reason he decided to be fair and award every department a pizza party.

I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. Horseshit even! I seriously doubt that would be the case if catering or the front desk had won.

But the kitchen won. Not only that, it wasn't even carved by somebody who uses knives every day. It was carved by the dishwasher!

So, essentially, it was a moral victory. Which is about as close to losing as you can get while still calling it a win.

However, my boss and I decided that my pumpkin was just so awesome that it broke the contest and won every department a pizza party. I think I'll go with that one.

Monster Pumpkin

2009-10-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

There's a pumpkin carving contest between the departments where I work.

More than likely, most of the pumpkins will be made with the help of stencils or only be a plain face carved out.

I like to think that I'm better than that.

Do you agree?

Useless Sci-Fi conjecture

2009-10-29T15:28:00.000-07:00

What if the Galactic Senate in Star Wars was more like a Georgia courthouse circa 1925? Y'know, where everybody had some kind of weapon on their person.

Senator Palpatine: "I move that Chancellor Valorum be removed from office for-" :BANG:
Chancellor Valorum: "I move that Senator Palpatine stay dead."
The blue guy with the tails on his head: "Second."
CV: "Those in favor."
Everybody: "Aye."
CV: "Alright then, Trade Federation. Knock it off with the embargo, or you get the same as him." :points to Palpatine's body being taken outside:

See? Everything works out.

Inspiring Placeholder

2009-10-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

"Like a slow burn, the days pass by. Knowing and lovingly embracing one another to create our past, our memories, and our lives."

It's a bit fluffy and saccharine to be sure, but I like it. I just felt like writing something you'd see on one of those Mary Englebright calenders with ~Anonymous after it. Only it's not anonymous, because I wrote it. So it'd have a ~Kelly Sorenson after it instead.

Just like this blog should have more posts in it.

About Me

2009-10-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

A little over three years ago, on my first blog on MySpace, I got the idea to make a post that was nothing but entirely random facts about myself. I was inspired to write it by all the bland surveys and questionnaires that never really offered any insight into who a person was, only what time they woke up that day or if they'd washed their car lately.

At first, it was a bit difficult to think of things to write, but once I got a few down it got a lot easier. About a year passed and I did another, and yet another a year or so after that. I even did one on here. With all these micro-exposés running around you'd think I'd have run out of facts about me. Well, I haven't. But they are getting a bit harder to come by.

I've found out recently that I'm able to scratch almost any part of my body without using my hands. At least without using my fingers.

If a droplet of water lands on my eye, be it tepid, cold or hot, I don't blink or anything. It's almost like rain on a windshield.

I feel like I'm a robot or android whenever that happens.

I'm really good at opening the microwave door just as the timer ends so I don't have to hear the beep. My ultimate goal is to consistently open the door when the timer reads :00. I've seen it done before, and I've done it twice myself.

I'm a very good wheelchair pusher.

I've had the same blanket for almost 20 years I think, if not more. You're never too old for Mickey Mouse.

Kind of like with the microwave, I can turn on the garbage disposal just long enough to clear any obstruction so the water will drain, and not harm any silverware that might be in there.

If I'm walking, and realize I need to turn, my leading foot will stop on the ground, and quickly swing in the direction I need to go. If you saw it in action you'd think my foot was having a seizure.

I have been published before.

I'm the uncle with all the cool toys. Some are actual toys (my personal Nerf armory) and some are technically toys (electric and acoustic guitars, PS2, 360, DSLite).

I think I may possibly, though not for sure, prefer British music over American music. The feel is just entirely different for me. Green Day is still my favorite band though.

Green Day has been my favorite band for over 15 years now. No breaks either. June '94 to the present :)

I can't wait until next year when I can start saying 'Twenty-Ten.' That's when the future really starts!

I'm a very adaptive person. I may not like it when I need to adapt to something new, but it doesn't take long before it becomes natural for me.

I'm still Mormon. And someone still thinks that's funny. It wouldn't be right if she didn't.

:sigh:

2009-10-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

I've never had so much trouble with a post before.

I tried writing a heartfelt story but I couldn't get past the first couple sentences. I tried to write an explanation of what happened, but it's already obvious what happened. I'm not even sure if this iteration of this post is going to work out or not. My mind is just kinda scrambled at the moment.

I've been miserable and cutting myself off from my friends and family, and I lashed out at one of the people that's been there for me time and again simply because she found the humor in a situation when I was too angry and indignant to see it myself.

Did I realize I was being a colossal jackass? No, I kept making it worse like any jackass who doesn't see a helping hand for what it is, and instead attacks the one holding it out. When I calmed down and came back, I found out that my friend was gone. I'd succeeded in pushing away someone who mattered more to me than anything that isn't my family.

A kind of stinging numbness took over. A legitimate worry that I've lost something very important. I haven't been able to eat, sleep or function properly. And this only happened yesterday. Can you imagine what prolonged exposure to this will do to me? Probably teach me not to be an unmitigated asshole to my friends for no reason, but that lesson has been learned.

I'm genuinely worried this is it.

The sight I like

2009-10-04T02:27:00.000-07:00

Like a low hanging ceiling, softly lit and threatening collapse, the winter clouds were both peaceful and ominous. - Me.

I just love how low overcast skies look at night during the winter. You're not quite sure if they're going to give us snow or just stay serenely inactive. I don't want to brag, but that up there is essentially poetry. It's also almost 2:30 and I need to get up at 9 for work from 10 to whenever.

Rough Patch

2009-09-29T23:38:00.000-07:00

I never like talking about my personal problems on here because it seems more a cry for help than just putting words to (digital) paper and get past it. There's always the option to just keep a journal and not share it with anybody but myself, but isn't that pretty much the same as bottling it all up?

For the last month or so I've just had this depression creeping up on me. It started when it began to get colder at night essentially signaling the end of Summer. I didn't do nearly as much as I had wanted to because I was too worried about wasting my time. It was my Summer vacation! I was supposed to be playing my backlog of video games, watching my backlog of anime and writing every spare minute I had. That didn't happen.

I had a great time on my vacation to Missouri, but I'm kicking myself for not having brought a camera with me. The memories are still fresh and I don't think they'll ever really fade away. Still, it's always nice to look at pictures.

I thought that getting the money for going to college would cheer me up. When that didn't really work I thought for sure that my classes would be engaging and really exciting. They are, but I'm so worried that I won't do well in them that it's sucking out any joy I have for them.

It's really annoying.

I'm also just very lonely. I don't have anybody to really hang out with besides at work. A girlfriend seems to be either impossible or entirely out of the question. I don't know how many times I've heard how great a guy I am and how any girl would be lucky to have me.

Sorry, but I can't stand not having bits of humor in everything. Yes that includes depressing posts about being depressed. And that second owl pic is just freaking hilarious.

Back on topic.

Yeah, I'm just getting really sick of taking a step forward only to find it hasn't gotten me any farther ahead. I'm under the impression that if I had a girlfriend then the pieces I've gathered would suddenly find their places. Maybe if I could get a list of references together of all the girls who've told me how great I am... yeah, no.

I'm not happy. I want to do something about it but everything I've tried lately has failed. Is a victory too much to ask for?

Going back to school. Again!

2009-09-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Shifts In American Literature

Like music and art, literature reflects the many facets of life but it can offer a deeper, more intimate view from the stories told and poetry written. American literature at the turn of the 20th century showed a culture that was hopeful and saw the world in a positive light. Times had been tought before, but perseverance would always see people through to a better life. When the Great War broke out in 1914, America was on the sidelines watching the events unfold. While the literature still adhered to typical structure and subjects, it was undoubtedly heading for a change.

My American Literature professor wrote 'Nice intro' right below that. I was really happy to see that. Especially because of how long it took me to get the right words out for it. It was hard, but it was incredibly rewarding once I'd gotten out the 3 1/2 (I tried pasting a proper 1/2 symbol on here from Word, and I got a five page long error. wow.) pages and turned it in. There were a few other encouraging notes left on the sides and margins as well.

I start school again tomorrow, and while I'm nervous about going back I have a lot more confidence in myself than when I went back last fall.

I'll be taking Japanese, Social Psychology and Cultural Anthropology. I've had my Cultural Anthropology professor twice before so it'll be kind of like going back to an old friend. My other two classes are complete unknowns to me, and I couldn't be more excited for them. So maybe I'm not nervous.

No. I'm nervous :)

And in the end...

2009-09-16T22:38:00.001-07:00

Before

2009-09-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

We will always wish to go back to before.

It was better then. It was safer and nothing went wrong.

Unfortunately, going back to before also means losing what has gone right in our lives. No matter what may go wrong, it is never worth giving up our 'now' and especially our 'later.'

random comedy bits

2009-09-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

(In generic mobster accents)
Tony: Alright, so that's the plan. It's perfect. Like a working clock.
Johnny: Don't you mean "like clockwork?
Tony: Is that semantics I hear Johnny? Splittin' hairs? Pickin' nits?
Johnny: ...don't you mean "nitpicking"?
Tony: That's it. You're dead.

Jacob: Cool. We'll all meet up tonight around anti-noon.
Tim: You mean midnight?
Jacob: Why, what did I say?
Tim: Anti-noon-:smack:
Jacob: Exactly!

Kid Rock issued a press release the other day. Apparently, after years of a severe lack of creativity, he has run out of ways to rip off Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. He will now start ripping off artists that have themselves ripped off Lynyrd Skynyrd. The first song of his to reflect this change will be "All Next Summer Long" with a chorus of "-singin' "Werewolves of London" all summer long"

I have impeccably bad timing. You could set your broken watch to me.

(In a smarmy, fast talking door to door salesman/agent accent)
"I gotta tell ya kid, these are great! Y'put the spicy salt on the fries and made 'em all spicy. They're just great! They're spicy, they're fries, what do ya call 'em kid? Wait! I got it! We'll call 'em Spicy Fries! The marketing practically writes itself! We'll sell a million of 'em kid, no doubt!

(This actually happened)
(Banquets Manager) Julie: Oh, I see you got your ears lowered.
(My Boss) Brandon: I did.
(Me) Kelly: He got his hair cut too. I'm surprised you didn't notice that first.

I am in an alarmingly bad mood. I'd say somewhere between 'rip off your head' and 'rip off your head and do something unspeakable to it'.

Brandon: Kelly, you can't put N/A for "Interacts with People"

Brandon: Kelly, are you grumpy?
Kelly: Right now?
Brandon: Well, have you been grumpy lately?
Kelly: I'm guessing that since you've asked me into your office and shut the door the answer to that should be "Yes."
Brandon: It's just that some of the banquet people have been saying that you've been snappy at them.
Kelly: I could see that yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Look, I know it can get really annoying sometimes. Hell, just today Mike and I went into the walk-in to cool down and scream. I'm just saying maybe you should try that too.
Kelly: Okay. But, are they aware that they're the reason I'm grumpy and snappy at them?
Brandon: Haha, yeah, that's a good one.

This is funny with my friends and I at work. Whether or not it's funny beyond that is of little concern to me :)

Was that bad? Should I not have done that?

2009-09-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

I don't like horror movies.

Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say that I'm not a fan of horror movies.

I'm just not interested in watching people die in horrible or bizarre ways. I admit there's a slight fascination in finding out why those people are being brutally murdered;

• Rampaging, pseudo-immortal psychopaths bent on revenge.

• Ancient spirits pissed that a bunch of snot nosed valley kids are throwing a kegger in their dilapidated mansion.

• Asylum escapees dressed as clowns doing... whatever asylum escapees dressed as clowns do. Which is murdering people, apparently.

The possibilities are endless to be sure. Not that I'd rent one, watch the first 20 minutes (to see the "why") and the last five (to see who made it), but that would probably be the best option for me.

Until I saw the previews for Sorority Row. I don't think I would have any problem watching any of those horrible, stuck up, slutty whores being murdered in any of the myriad of ways horrible, stuck up, slutty whores can be murdered. I have absolutely no sympathy for any of them.

For those not in the know, the movie is about a group of sorority sisters that decide to play a prank on one of their cheating boyfriends by faking the sister's death while she's making out with him. The prank gets as far as the quarry where they're going to bury her, when suddenly (for absolutely no reason if the previews are to be believed) the boyfriend impales his "dead" girlfriend with a tire iron.

They freak out, dump the body, and vow never to speak of it again. That's vow. Not swear, not pledge, not even pinky swear! So you know how serious they are about vowing never to speak of it again.

Suddenly, a hooded figure shows up the night of their graduation, complete with a modified tire iron (oh symbolism, you subtle fiend. have you no shame?), and starts murdering all the sisters.

Oh no, the little Asian girl who takes off her bikini top because a guy looks at her is being hauled away to her doom. Dear me, the drunk is dying an ironic death. Now the consummate leader bitch is daring the killer to, well, kill her. Yeah, reverse psychology. That always works with vindictive vengeance seekers.

Is that bad? Should I feel sorry for these girls? I don't think so. None of them seem to have any inherent value and would only serve to further clog up the world with little murder concealing whorettes.

That may be a bit harsh, but when the characters are painted in such an unsympathetic light, it's really hard to drum up any kind of sympathy for them. Incredible as that may seem.

100 Bananas

2009-09-02T01:11:00.000-07:00

I remember that the helicopters were really loud. Which struck me as odd because the old rumor was that they ran silent. The American and Soviet ones that is. Other countries didn't have a reason for anything as excessive as that. With how loud the damn thing was it would take an over-budget superpower locked in a preemptive arms race to silence it.

Anyway, it wouldn't have been so bad had the whole fleet of them not decided to fly so low and directly over my banana plantation; it ruffled them up, but not much else. The question of why they were there didn't really pop into my head until after I'd finished screaming at them. They weren't marked in any way, so I couldn't jump to any conclusions. I also couldn't think of any reason why they would come to this nameless spot of an island. The banana market was already cornered here, thanks to yours truly, so that was out of the question.

Then again, I didn't have access to obnoxiously loud helicopters. Helicopters that happened to be carrying equal parts soldiers and bureaucrats. It was the Soviets. We were their weak last gasp at survival in a quickly evaporating Cold War.

This is me talking now, and this is actually my 100th post. That's just an excerpt from my latest story idea imagined up from the word 'banana.' I started writing it two hours ago and I'm happy with what I've got. Sort of like my posts on here.

I didn't reach 100 quickly, and I'm fine with it having taken this long to do so. I don't put my fingers to the keyboard lightly you could say. It could also be seen as a benefit of procrastination, in that I don't jump in with reckless abandon.

There's been a lot I've wanted to write about on here but I could just never wring out the words I needed to get them on the screen.

Like the massive migration of people to the fairgrounds for the last week of summer vacation, and how I would race the buses on my bike as they went past the huge park next to Eastgate Elementary.

Or what I thought of heaven when I was younger. If they didn't have dodgeball up there then I wouldn't be too terribly interested. Seriously. The perfect happiness and harmony is great, but you can't tell me there wouldn't be others up for a dodgeball tournament.

I even came close to doing another 'about me' kind of blog entry. Those are always fun to do and paint an amusing and fairly accurate portrait of my eccentricities, idiosyncrasies and what makes me me.

I guess I can always get around to those in time.

Interesting To Somebody

2009-08-27T02:14:00.000-07:00

This week is the Benton-Franklin County Fair. It's a pretty big deal around here and it's always the ultimate finish to summer vacation. Not for me though. I've never been interested in it (more about that in another blog to be sure), but I can appreciate other's fascination with it.

Anyway...

Every so often some big name musical acts are booked for the fair. It's not usually a band I'm particularly interested in seeing, but other people are. Even though I'm not interested, my job has afforded me a way to be of service to the various musical acts. I get to clean up after them and their crews.

Need proof? Well why else would I have posted this?

First up we have America and their culinary needs.

These next two are for Night Ranger and whoever Church is supposed to be. I honestly have no idea.

Hot means... well I think you get the idea.

I decided to save the best for last. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Bucky Covington's catering list!

When I worked Tuesday night we had all of the food for the Beach Boys in the back walk-in. Clint Black was also staying in the hotel with his three tour buses taking up space in the parking lot.

Not many people can claim to clean up after these musical acts (not many people would care or want to, I'm sure), but I feel, in a silly proximal sort of way, somewhat "cool."

I cannot stress how overworked that pair of quotation marks is. I simply cannot.

Kelly went on vacation. Yes, really.

2009-08-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

I got a sunburn, there was a crazy storm and I was stuck in airports for hours on end.

All with my best friend, so this was hands down the best vacation ever.

My vacation began on Thursday, but Friday is when my flight was. It arrived in Kansas City around 11:30PM, and I was picked up by KaTrina in Bambi (her Jeep) around 11:45PM. Stepping out into the fresh Missouri night air I was immediately reminded of the thick humidity in the dish pit at work. Except it was calmingly lukewarm instead of obnoxiously sweltering. +1 for Missouri.

We all went to a nice Howard Johnson's Hotel in Kansas City to stay the night, seeing as how we'd be spending as long as we could at Oceans of Fun the next day. It was a lot of fun going to a real water park with all kinds of slides, a lazy river and even a WAVE POOL! That was the best part of the park for me. The sunscreen probably lasted as long as it could, but I still got a sunburn. Poor KaTrina though, she didn't put any on so she got it the worst.

After spending over four hours at the park we all left Kansas City (I keep wanting to type St. Louis for some reason) and went to St. Joe (about 45 minutes from Maryville, our ultimate destination) and had lunch at Chipotlé (huge burritos). It was awesome to see so much in less than one day of being there.

Then we got to Maryville. It's the very definition of a small university town on the verge of experiencing a boom. Kind of like the Tri-Cities was some time ago. Quaint isn't exactly the word here, but it's definitely set at a different speed from a lot of other parts of the country. The campus of Northwestern Missouri State University is beautiful, and it was great touring around it and taking pictures on my last day there.

The movie theater there is made up of giant airplane hangars and they even have a dinner and a movie option that is really cool. While there I went to see Funny People (which was a lot longer than I thought it would be) and G.I. Joe (which was just plain awesome). It also turned out to be my birthday when we went to a Mexican restaurant named La Bonita. I got to wear a giant red sombrero and get my picture taken. By now there should be a picture of a very surprised person balancing an ill-fitting hat on their wall.

KaTrina, I'm tasking you with getting it back should they ever take it down.

That's only a few of the things I got to do while I was there. KaTrina and I went to St. Joe to spend some time together, and that was a lot of fun. I need to remember to buy a rocking chair sometime in the next 50 years. Also, mild storms in the midwest are really cool. I've never seen clouds move so fast, lightning strike so close or rain come down that hard.

The day of our flight (I kidnapped KaTrina (despite the fact that she drove to Kansas City) and brought her back home with me), we left early to take pictures of me around the NWMSU campus in my new NWMSU hat and hang out in Kansas City until our flight. Turns out there isn't much to do there, so we waited in the airport. We did Mad-Libs, Facebook Uno and generally hung out. We did the same thing in Denver too. Spokane not so much. Driving home was the focus of that leg of the trip in spite of my poor direction giving to cab drivers.

Anyway, I had an incredible time. KaTrina is here until the 20th so I'll still get to see her and hang out before she goes back, but it was really nice being her guest these last few days.

It wasn't until I was taking my shower this morning that I realized the entire time I was there I didn't worry once about my troubles back home. That's what a vacation is supposed to be about right? If so, this one succeeded and was awesome.

What's your favorite decade for movies?

2009-08-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting here eating some strawberry ice cream (with real strawberry chunks just how I like it), and watching Ghost Busters on AMC. It's been on that channel a lot lately and this is the first time I've caught it from the beginning. I remember wearing out our old, recorded from HBO VHS copy when I was younger. I understood a respectable part of the humor, what with being under 10, but I would mostly watch it for all of the ghost and the wicked awesome proton packs and uniforms.

I was Egon for Halloween a few times even. Had a home made costume thanks to my mom and eventually a toy proton pack. Needless to say I was the envy of a lot of kids come those 31st's of October.

It's something about that movie though that just screams the 1980's. A lot of movies from that decade do that though; Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Aliens, Big Trouble in Little China, and Back to the Future just to name a few. The fact they happen to be some of my favorite movies notwithstanding of course. Is the 80's my favorite decade for movies though? I honestly don't know. I have just as many movies from the 90's and 00's (however that's pronounced) that I love just as much.

The 90's gave me Jurassic Park, Independence Day, The Matrix, and Men In Black, again, just to name a few. I have so many memories of going to the movies with my friends or by myself to see all of the awesome movies that were so totally freaking awesome that I absolutely had to go see them as soon as possible. So, I could make the argument that the 90's is my favorite decade for movies, but I haven't even gotten to this decade.

Meanwhile the 00's had the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean, most of the Harry Potter movies, The Dark Knight (not just because of The Joker, mind), the Bourne trilogy and a whole hell of a lot more. When I finally got my driver's license and a truck in '03 I could finally go to late night movies and the super awesome Midnight Premiere (the allure of which has since come and gone as evidenced by a previous entry) whenever I felt like it.

Whenever I watch one of my favorite movies I always get a certain feeling or 'vibe' from it. Memories picked up from different times I've watched them, noticing things I haven't before and understanding jokes I didn't understand previously (if it's been a really long time since I saw it last). With this decade quickly coming to an end, I'm very excited to see what's coming when we can start saying Twenty-_____ instead of Two-Thousand-_____

Seeing as how the title is a question, it would only make sense for answers to follow. Do any of you out there have a favorite 'decade'?

As a side note, I left out the 70's simply because I hadn't been born yet. You needn't do the same.

I'm not old enough for this

2009-07-25T02:23:00.000-07:00

I miss the days when I would go see Independence Day at the Metro Four with my Dad.

I'd be in my room looking out the window at a clear night sky when he would pop his head in and ask, "Hey Kelly, you want to go see Independence Day tonight?" Before I could even say 'Yes' I'd already have my shoes on and be walking out of my room. I know it's cliché, but it's true that the little inconsequential things matter, and are usually what we remember most fondly.

I remember having to walk home from the mall one day after going to see it. Thankfully I was with Jared, my best friend at the time, and we had a lot of fun on our long, often misguided way back home. I really miss walking to his house practically every day during the summer. I miss all those things I did with Jared, but they wouldn't be memories if they couldn't be missed. I think that's a worthwhile trade.

For years there were pink and blue smudges on the windows of my truck that faded away one by one. One day when I was leaving for work I looked where the last pink smudge had been for months and it was gone. It took me a second to realize why it seemed so off for my rear window to be smudge free. It's not that I had forgotten why it was there, but it had become so routine to look at that one spot and smile that it didn't quite register that it was gone.

The smudges were from KaTrina and her friends writing on my windows with those special markers. They also filled up my truck with balloons and other stuff. I wasn't exactly surprised seeing as how I gave my consent, but it made me happy that KaTrina followed through with her "threat." Seeing plain glass where the last pink smudge had been for so long cemented that memory in my mind.

The other day, I was lying in bed when Sasha jumped up to come and sniff my face, startling me. That in turn startled her and she ran out of my room. I went to go after her but I heard a very familiar sound coming from Shawn's room. I looked in and it was a home movie of Donald's last day of his paper route. What really caught my eye was the beige, ring tailed, round eared cat I hadn't seen for years sniffing at Donald much like Sasha does to me.

Mazy talked a lot more though.

One of the first few thoughts that ran through my head after seeing her was that she's in heaven right now just waiting for her family to show up. I loved that cat. When I say she talked, oh did she ever talk. Easiest cat to ever have a conversation with. She had a past that we could only guess at, but that didn't matter anymore because she was a part of our family.

I remember being there when we had her put down vividly. I stroked her fur. I scratched behind her ear. She was so quiet.

My Dad built her a nice little box that we lined with fabric. Courtney and I both gave her her two favorite things to play with; a rubber band and one of those clear water bottle caps, one by each paw. When I move out and get a cat, I'm hoping it'll have the same affinity for them.

I've always looked forward, wondering what will become of my life as I and those around me grow older. There's always a bit of sadness that comes with thinking about the future, because we need to trade in the past in order to get there. What I've talked about in this blog is all in the past, and while I'd like to go back and visit those happier times (I would give anything for that to be so), there are always going to be more.

More memories to make and some day think back on with fondness, wishing to revisit them just once more.

Now, I didn't just pour out my heart and soul and cry over my cat for nothing. I want comments. KaTrina and my Mom are exempt from this request because they don't need to be requested. I know you're reading this and it really does mean a lot to me when I get more than 2 or 3 comments per painstakingly written entry. I'm running out of ways to get them. Making a video of me dancing to Aqua or Eiffel 65 songs is on the list somewhere and I'd rather not get that far thank you very much.

I'll even throw in this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory spoof for good measure:

WW: "The strawberries taste like strawberries. The schnozberries taste like schnozberries."
VS: "Schnozberry? Whoever heard of a schnozberry?"
WW: :sigh: "Alright, y'know what? Just-Just go. There is a line between spoiled brat and ungrateful little- and well, you crossed it. You have been nothing but nasty this entire time and frankly I've had enough of it. Just leave... No, you don't get a song! Leave!"

Okay, that's enough

2009-07-16T02:02:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I got to the theater an hour early, found the parking lot nearly full, and began to wish I could exchange my ticket.

Every theater (maybe one or two weren't) was already about 75-90% full, and I was lucky enough to find one of the emptier ones, and even luckier to sit alone (read: empty seat on my left, aisle on my right). I also had the foresight to bring along my DS Lite so I wouldn't be bored out of my mind or tempted to start calling/texting people who were smart enough to be in bed. I was a little worried that people might talk during the movie, but thankfully that didn't happen.

Anyway, the movie was pretty damn good. It was edited together like Order of the Phoenix, but a hell of a lot smoother and with more sincere acting. A lot was left out, and that's understandable, because expecting everything to be covered is silly. I felt the movie did a good job picking out some of the really important parts and doing them justice on screen. As with all the movies after Chamber of Secrets, some things were changed and/or merged together (finding Harry on the train for instance), and some things that weren't in the book at all were tossed in for... no reason? Yeah, that sounds right.

The movie isn't exactly what this post is about though. More like movies in general. Midnight premieres in particular. In short, the 'magic' of going to them has worn off for me. It's not so much me growing old (yes, I can see that comment coming a mile away :P), as it is me growing up. I mean, it's great to go and be around people that are just as excited as I am to be one of the first to see an awesome new movie (forgetting we live on the west coast for just a moment), but the headache that comes along with it has finally gotten too much to bear.

I stayed until the end of the credits and even after that, when I went outside people were still pouring out of the parking lot. I didn't get home until around 3:30, and the movie is only 2 hours and 37 minutes long. I'm happy that what is potentially my last midnight premiere was Harry Potter though, and one of the better Harry Potter movies to boot.

From now on I'll just risk going to the early morning showings instead. The risk being that parents and their noisy kids might be there. I guess I'll find out next time.

Oddly (un)familiar

2009-06-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

So, as of June 19, 1:35 PM I have officially been on Summer Vacation. I never thought I'd ever have one again, but after 8 years here I am. I don't have to go to bed early Sunday through Wednesday or get up early Monday through Thursday. I don't have to, but for the most part I still am.

Even more than the sleep schedule however, I've been affected by not having any homework to do. I can't tell you how many times I started to freak out at work on Sunday, only to come to the realization that there were no reading assignments or papers to write for Monday. I am incredibly hard to convince to get started on homework. Trust me when I say it's infuriating when you either can't or won't listen to yourself or do what needs to be done. Hell, even doing what you want to do!

I should have more motivation come next school year though. I got my financial aid award letter last week. I'm getting $7,640 to go to school next year. Well, $4,640 is a more accurate amount. It still costs around $1,000 per quarter, and that gets taken out of the $2,564 I get per quarter, so I get a check for the remainder, which is roughly $1,564. That money is mine to do with whatever I need to. Pretty freakin' sweet if you ask me.

Yet with the sleep schedule gone, the temporary lack of scholastic responsibilities, forcing myself to write a paper the night before it's due over, and getting paid to go to school, I've been affected in an unexpected way.

I'm happy.

It's odd. I guess content would be a more accurate description of how I'm feeling, but happiness is something of a novelty to me, so I'll take it.

I'm going to do all sorts of Kelly stuff on my break that I miss doing: playing video games, writing stories, lyrics and even poetry, watching long stretches of anime and what I believe will be the highlight of my summer; visiting KaTrina.

I'll be flying for the first time ever, going to an amusement park, and traveling farther from home than I've ever been. It's going to be very exciting, and fun, and most importantly it'll be new.

As if all this wasn't enough, I got my grades for the Spring Quarter. Remember how I said that 4.0 in English Composition I wasn't going to be my last? Yeah, I totally called it.

English Composition II: 4.0
American Literature WWI to the Present: 4.0
American History: Civil War to the Present: 3.7

I'm surprised at both History and English though. I thought for sure I'd get a 3.7 for English and a 4.0 for History. Mainly because I had a hell of a time writing my two main assignments for English and I wasn't too pleased with the results. I had no such problem in History though, and I did really well on my mid-term. I can only assume I didn't do as well on the final as I thought.

American Literature was never a question for me though. I knew that there was no way I could get anything less than a 3.8, and I was fully expecting a 4.0. So, to get 4.0's in both English courses I've taken, and in American Literature has certainly helped to confirm what I've believed for so long:

Writing is my calling.

This is where I shamelessly plug the other blog I've got going on where I plan to put up samples of my work for open critique or just reading if you're bored. Seriously, go and read it and leave comments. It would help me to get off my creative butt and work! Believe me, as hard as it was to get myself to do my homework, it's even harder to get myself to write the stories I want to tell.

I'm well aware of how ludicrously counterintuitive that is.

It's going to be an awesome summer vacation regardless, either in spite of or because of how different it is from the others.

Private screening of 'UP' for dying girl

2009-06-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most sadly beautiful things I have read about in my life. The article makes me love the movie even more than I already did, and it made me all misty eyed. Give the article a read but be prepared to be emotionally dismantled. In a good way.

You can read the article here

Habits and Hyperbole

2009-06-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

When I first saw the word 'Hyperbole', I read it as any sixth grader would: hy-per-bowl.

"Is that like the super bowl but better?"

"Is that like the super fast cousin of the common mole? Like he digs really super fast?"

"Wait... what does it even mean?"

It wasn't until a few years later that I came across it again and learned what it actually meant, and yes, how to say it properly. Hy-per-buh-lee for those that doubt my pronunciation skills :P

However, even though I know how to properly pronounce the word, and really like what it means (I myself hyperbolize all the time), whenever I see it written I always say or think it the same way I did when I was 11. It's like those intervening years from when I first saw it to when I first truly understood it have cemented the incorrect pronunciation in my subconscious.

I have to work actively against it.

'Hy-per-bow-'
'NO! It's hy-per-buh-lee.'
'Oh, right.'

Now, this is only when I read it. My brain has managed to work around that bit of faulty wiring when I need to use the word in conversation, thank goodness. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever break this trivial habit of mine. I'm sure most people have something similar. A habit or something like it from childhood that still manifests itself from time to time.

Not so much writers block

2009-06-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

As it is writer's barricade with armed guards on rotating shifts.

I honestly cannot think of anything to write on here and it's really starting to bug me for a few reasons. Most are trivial, but some have merit to them.

Like desperately wanting to catch up to KaTrina in post count while she's experiencing (or so it seems) the same lack of posting. Though her last post was to plug my other new blog Stranger and Fiction where I plan on posting some of my shorter works to get peoples input so I can submit them to be published.

Kinda funny that I plan on writing so much yet I can't seem to bring myself to make a post on here. It'd be awful kind if some of you could pop over and give me your opinions on the story. I'd really like honest critiques though.

Another reason I haven't been posting on here is because school has been ramping up with the end of the quarter only a couple weeks away. I've absolutely loved going to school this quarter. American Literature is easily my favorite class in regards to what I'm learning and how much I'm expanding myself.

Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings truly are classics that deserve every bit of respect they get and have, but reading stories by authors like Ernest Hemingway, John Updike and Flannery O'Connor are satisfying on so many more levels. It's really pushed me to take my own writing to a deeper level instead of trying to write what I think will be popular.

I hope when I end up with a static character, it will be because that's their purpose in the story. I want to make people dig into the story to see what lies underneath and gain something more than just entertainment. I still want my stories to be fantastical and entertaining, but I want the substance to easily outweigh the style.

That's why it's a good thing that I have this blog (and my poor, forgotten, malnourished MySpace blog) to just come and write whatever comes to mind. Because I love writing.

I've experienced something of a confirmation by going to college. The word potential was always tossed around when I was in public schools. Like it was some kind of security blanket I refused to acknowledge, yet it was pinned to the waist of my pants, one end dragging along the ground. I knew it was there, but flat out refused to use it.

I'm stubborn like that :)

Well, now I'm using the damn thing and despite the one end being slightly ragged, it's still as useful as it's always been.

I'm always the one that's talking in both my American Literature and English Composition II classes. Even when it's supposed to be a class discussion in English 102, I'm the one leading the class in the discussion. I've always got my hand up in Lit, desperate to discuss what I'd read the night before.

I started writing this about a half hour ago and I wish I had another, but I've got to go to class. I'm really happy that I managed to find the weak spot in my writers barricade with armed guards on rotating shifts and finally posted something of substance on here. I'm wondering how many comments I'll get though.

This deserves at least three :)

Go to bed

2009-05-23T01:01:00.000-07:00

I can forget what I like
And know what I choose
Until I wake up
Always moments too soon

To sleep is to dream
When the moment is right
In a blink it can happen
And I regain my sight

The unlikely, improbable
Nigh on impossible
All within reach...

If I could just go to sleep

9 - Seriously, check this out

2009-05-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

LOST

2009-05-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

This post is going to go over what happened on the season 5 finale of Lost, so if you haven't seen it, don't read this until you have seen it.

.:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:.

First of all, that wasn't Jacob that was visiting everybody.

Surely that's obvious, yes?

It was whoever that guy was that wanted to kill Jacob at the beginning of the episode. If you didn't come to that conclusion and are balking at my logic, or asking "Then why did he take the form of Jacob? It's not like they would recognize or see him later." let me explain.

Firstly, it would destroy the surprise if it was that other guy, so it couldn't be him for the audience's sake. Secondly, he can obviously change forms and wanted to hide his identity at all costs. The most important reason, he was selecting them to set his plan in motion: that of killing Jacob. By going and talking to all of the original survivors he altered their paths to all meet on Oceanic Flight 815, which would ultimately crash on the island and set off the chain of events.

I believe the only time we actually see Jacob leave the island is when he talks to the bounty hunter (though that's questionable now) that brought in Sayid. Probably as a matter of insurance in case his 'friend' succeeds in killing him.

It's almost as if Jacob is God, and the other guy is Satan. Satan is desperate for any way to kill God, but God will always prevail no matter what. Which brings me to the next part of my post which will be a bit tough to follow. Unless you're as well versed in time travel theory as I am :)

When the other guy, disguised as Locke, manages to get Jacob killed by way of Ben, he inadvertently de-linearizes (no, that's not a real word) the space time continuum. What I mean by this, is that the continuum is now open to change instead of everything having already happened. Notice how it's not until Jacob is killed that Juliet sets off the hydrogen bomb? Although the group of survivors 30 years in the past are 30 years in the past, once Jacob is killed the time line is open to change.

This allows Juliet to successfully set off the hydrogen bomb, which obviously shouldn't have gone off in the first place as the island would have become completely uninhabitable. This event negates everything that happened on the island and pretty much causes a hard reset of time. Think of it as a computer crashing, and resetting to a previous, safe state.

The other guy might have found a loophole, but in using it he destroyed it. Totally something God/Jacob would bank on :)

I believe this is all true because the super quick shot of the eye at the end is Juliet's. She's okay, and I'm going to assume everybody else is as well.

January just cannot come soon enough.

Song of the Century

2009-05-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

Sing us a song of the century
That's louder than bombs
And eternity
The era of static and contraband
That's leading us into the promised land
Tell us a story that's by candlelight
Waging a war and losing the fight

They're playing the song of the century
Of panic and promise and prosperity
Tell me a story into that good night
Sing us a song for me

You don't mess around with Jim either

2009-05-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

"Hey, thanks again for bringing me here Pops. I'm really happy that you think I'm ready for it."
"Ready? Son, you ain't never gonna be 'ready' for something like this. I'm gettin' you prepared."
"Yeah, sure Pops. Let's just get inside already."

"Say Pops, who's that over there?"
"Hmm? Oh, that's Bad Bad Leroy Brown. He's actually the baddest man in the whole damn town. Yeah, you don't wanna mess with him... he'll kill you."
"For messin' with him!?!?"
"Naw, naw... no, he'll just kill you. 'S'what he does... 's'like a hobby. Says it 'relieves stress'."
"You've talked to him?"
"Son, nobody talks to Leroy if they know what's best for'm."
"Hey there Jim."
"Hey Leroy."
"I thought you said-"
"I know what I said, Son. You need to brush up on your Croce."

Highly Inappropriate

2009-05-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

"Kyle, sweety, could you come in here please? Your father and I have something important to talk to you about."
"Sure Mom, what is it?"
"Well, this is something your father and I have been talking about for a while now, and, well, we think you're old enough now for us to talk to you about it."
"It's not something bad is it?"
"Oh honey no, no it's nothing bad. It's just that, well, you see... you're-"YOU'RE ADOPTED! Haha, jinx! You owe me a coke Gloria! What?

Ah, Jinx. That beloved child's game where all you need to play is a quick mind, an even quicker mouth, and some foresight into what the other person is about to say. There are times however, when it's best to save this enjoyable diversion for a more appropriate time.

"Mr. Hayes, we've gotten back your test results, and..."
"Please, don't make me wait any longer. Just tell me."
"Well, the results are conclusive. You- "YOU HAVE CANCER! Jinx, you owe me a coke Dr. Lomez!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Ponier, but if you can't make the minimum payments we'll be forced to - "FORECLOSE ON MY HOUSE! Haha, jinx you owe me a... wow, that really sucks."
"Yes, it does."
"Hey shut up! You're still jinxed you jerk. And where's my coke!?"

So remember, Jinx is great for amusement during long car rides, casual banter with your close friends and even select casual work environments, but wanton use can have it's consequences.

Limited Time Offer

2009-05-03T02:43:00.000-07:00

Attention all Mad, Evil and Environmental Scientists. Are you sick and tired of having to resort to using pre-recorded evil laughs when confronted with your arch nemesis?

Have you ever had to deal with the embarrassment of accidentally playing your Wham! mix-tape?

What about accidentally recording over that very same Wham! mix-tape?

From the mind that brought you the Build-by-Numbers Death Ray, 73 E-Z (yet incredibly convoluted, and at times counterintuitive) Steps to World Domination and Tickle Me Elmo, comes Maniaxital XD (maniacus giggline).

Hi, I'm Dr. Ebilstein (pronounced Ee-bil-steen), and I'm here today to tell you about my great new product, Maniaxital XD! Taken daily, it can provide you with a deep, ghostly, mirthless laugh to instill a sense of fear and dread in those within the immediate vicinity.

"But doctor, isn't Maniaxital XD just testosterone laced with LSD?"

Of course it is! We use nothing but the highest quality ingredients* (*this is a lie) in our products, and Maniaxital XD is no exception!

Order now and receive one of our infamous UN-inspirational posters* to put up in your lair/compound/hideout/secret base to rob your arch nemesis of all hope. (*bare tree branch with freshly made kitten claw marks, with text reading "You can't hold on forever", unfortunately no longer available)

I know that if you use my product, you will notice an incredible upswing in your ability to maniacally laugh uncontrollably.

Disclaimer: Side effects include death. There are probably others, but this is the only one we've encountered so far. Take at your own risk... which is pretty damn high.

I came up with this general idea at work tonight. Had a voice for it and everything. I'd like to record it and put it on here though :)

Fanboys

2009-04-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had the good fortune of having both a day off from work and school. I had two of them actually, but this is about the Friday of the two (the other being Saturday, duh). Not having anything to do, and it being a Friday, I went to the movie section of the paper to see what new movies had come out. It was pretty slim pickings because the summer movie season doesn't really start until May 1st when X-Men Origins: Wolverine sets it off.

So as I'm thinking about all the movies I can't wait to see this summer, I noticed a title I'd heard about before but troubled development kept delaying it. It was definitely something up my alley, so when I realized how lucky I was I went straight to the theater and saw:

For those in the audience that get the gist of the poster, let me explain the plot. Four lifelong friends grew up absolutely in love with all things Star Wars. Unfortunately there's a bit of a falling out among them. Eric, the one in the middle there, decided it was time to grow up and leave Star Wars as just a nice little hobby instead of a lifestyle.

His friends, Linus, Windows, and Hutch still live and breathe Star Wars, even going to a costume party decked out as Storm Troopers and Darth Vader. Eric is there as well and something of a mini reunion happens. Eric finds out that his friends have a countdown going until Episode I gets released in theaters, which is 6 months. Linus was hurt the most by Eric leaving the group behind and accosts him. Eric and Linus were going to make comics together, so that's the reason behind that.

The next day, Windows and Hutch show up at Eric's place of work, his dad's car lot, and tell Eric that Linus has cancer and only has about 3 to 4 months to live. Astonished that he's only now hearing about it, and sad that years of friendship has been wasted, he tries to get back into Linus' life. Linus doesn't want to have any of it though. Determined to not let it end this way, Eric suggests they steal the rough cut for Episode I so Linus can see it before he dies. It takes some convincing, but an unlikely inside source gives them a floor plan to Skywalker Ranch.

So yeah, they're gonna do it.

I won't give away any more of the plot because this should really be enjoyed with just the basics known. They live in Iowa (maybe Ohio?) so it's a road trip movie. There are plenty of Star Wars references and some of them are actually pretty clever. I really enjoyed this movie as it reminded me of the times before Episode I actually came out.

Watching the trailer dozens of times a day. Camping out overnight at the mall and missing school to get tickets. Missing school again to see it multiple times the day it came out. It reminded me of all the fun times I had with my friends.

It ends really well. Almost beautifully. Really glad I got to see this in the theaters. I'll be picking up the DVD when it drops on May 19 to be sure. I suggest people at least rent it. It's PG-13 and there are some parts not suitable for kids, but it's awesome never the less.

Okay, so

2009-04-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

I've got this friend who's got a contest going and she would like everybody to know about this contest and enter into it for a chance to win something, for all intents and purposes, AWESOME!

Please be advised however, that you only have until Midnight tonight (April 22nd, to those reading this sometime in the future) to enter into this contest for something awesome. She'd really like you to enter.

Now please, KaTrina, I did what you asked, now let my family go!

Totally kidding... somebody please alert the authorities!

Quirks and Simple Pleasures

2009-04-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

Everybody has their own little quirks that they don't really think about until somebody notices it and this happens...

"Why do you do that?"
"Hmm? Do what?"
"What you just did."
"Uhh, I didn't do anything."
"Yeah, you did."
"No."
"You so frickin' did!"
"Don't judge me!"

So while it may not go down quite like that for the everybody that has their own little quirks, if you take notice of all that you do during the day, you're bound to notice yourself doing something ever so slightly out of the ordinary. Seeing as how this is my blog, I've decided to share some of my own quirks.

When I listen to music while I'm driving, I have the volume set at increments of five. Y'know, 15, 20, 30, 35, etc. It goes up to 63, so none of that "that's too loud!" business if you please.

Whenever I do the dishes at home (work is another matter entirely), I gather up all of the silverware and place them one by one into the sections until I'm out. What's funny, and oddly mysterious, is 97% of the time, every section will end up having the same amount of silverware as the other. Even if some of the sections are one short, I'm able to find enough around the kitchen to fill them up. It's not until after I start the dishwasher that I find one more utensil that would have messed up the count.

I notice stuff like the silverware thing.

I've always got to be doing something with my hands. Whether it's snapping my fingers, popping my knuckles, or even the dreaded geekery many of you have seen me indulge in. It's a good thing smoking never worked for me. Am I right?

If I buy two pairs of pants, the first pair I wear is always the one I'll end up liking best and wear most often.

Whenever I have paper money, it has to be in order from lowest to highest, facing the same way, and in line. Y'know, a couple bills shoved in one corner and another in the other corner.

I think it's safe to say that this assortment of idiosyncrasies certainly help to round me out as me, but there are things I take joy in that do just as much to define me.

Liiike...

Being able to drive in the middle of the night with all the windows down, enjoying a pleasantly warm breeze wearing a shirt, shorts, and bare feet. Obviously, that's what Summer is for :)

Stumbling upon a new riff and trying to put lyrics to it.

And vice versa, writing new lyrics and trying to put music to it.

Suddenly waking up, worried that I've missed or was late for some kind of appointment, realizing it's 3AM and I don't have anything to wake up for. Obviously it's the going back to sleep with nothing to worry about that I like.

A cloudless night, and a big, bright full moon illuminating everything. Like I'm wearing super thick sunglasses in the middle of a bright, cloudless day. This is applicable all year, but most appreciated in the Summer. Because then I can go outside in a shirt, shorts and flip flops and enjoy it all the more.

Getting truly inspired with an idea for a story. When this happens I can't help myself from filling in all of the details and piecing together the multiple facets of the story. Overactive imaginations are NOT a bad thing.

Cold cereal milk.

School. Heh, if I had made this list a year ago...

Re-reading through Harry Potter. I'm lucky enough to still feel some of the anticipation of what's going to happen next in the story when I do.

Thinking about how time travel works.

Flying in dreams.

Having dreams where everything I wish would happen either has, or is happening. It's always a bit saddening to wake up, but it's nice that it 'happened' all the same.

Thinking about the odd little things I do and stuff that makes me happy, and compiling them into a list for my friends and family to read through and go, "Yeah, that's Kelly."

Winter Grades

2009-04-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

So I think that the grades I got for Fall Quarter were really just a fluke. I mean, I thought I had this whole 'going to college' thing figured out, so I wasn't bothering to check on my grades for Winter. Big mistake. I honestly thought I was doing great in my classes and would improve my cumulative GPA. Then of course I got my grades. I don't want a bunch of hoopla so here they are:

Biological Anthropology: 2.1
English 276 (LotR): 1.4
English 101: 1.7

So yeah. I think the reason I got a 2.1 in Anthropology is because I had the same professor last quarter and he didn't want me to get too bad of a grade. The grades came out on the 31st and I was a bit busy so I'm posting them today... on April 1st. Yeah, April Fools :)

Okay, so now the real post begins.

Winter Quarter was a lot of fun and I'm going to miss going to those classes. It was awesome learning more about evolution. My faith hasn't been changed in any way, and I've accepted evolution for years now. So I haven't been indoctrinated or anything like that. Sounds like an opportunity for a blog post. Anyway, the Grade.

Biological Anthropology 3.3
I'm happy with it, but I was really hoping (and aiming for, mind you) a higher grade. I got a 3.7 in Psychology with the same professor but I guess I just did better. It was probably the mid-term and final that got me. It only gets better from here though.

Lord of the Rings was obviously the class I was looking forward to the most. I'd be reading one of the most important literary works of the 20th century and poring over it with a professor who obviously knows the material, and students who know it as well or might be reading it for the first time. I was always talking in that class, and in a constructive way. Like I said before, there was a really cute girl who knew just about everything Lord of the Rings back to front. We'd always have really fun debates and arguments about how to interpret the text. I'm really gonna miss going. A lot.

Lord of the Rings 3.6
Just about what I figured. Three exams and essays, lowest score dropped. 10 quizzes, two lowest scores dropped. For the two essays I handed in, I got solid B's and was proud of them. I did all three exams and was only one point away from the highest score each time. I also had a couple missteps when it came to the weekly quizzes, even though the two lowest scores were dropped.

My first day in English 101 was kind of disheartening. There were all these rules in class that I was worried about breaking and the assignments sounded a bit harsh too. Like, no matter how well you're doing in class, if you don't get a passing grade on the final (an in-class essay) you fail the class. That and the professor came off as a no-nonsense, "so much as blink out of turn and I will end you" kind of guy. Couldn't be further from the truth. I enjoyed this class just as much as I enjoyed Anthropology. I got along with the professor quite a lot too. I had a feeling I might get a really good grade out of his class. Boy was I off.

English Composition I 4.0
I got a GREAT grade! I was hoping that I'd get a 4.0, because every assignment I turned in got full marks. Nevertheless I was still a bit shocked when I looked at my transcript yesterday. I don't think I've gotten the equivalent of a 4.0... well, ever I think. Whenever I think about this I get a smile on my face. Of all the classes to get a 4.0 in, I'm glad English was the first one. And it won't be the last one, either.

My GPA did drop a smidge, from 3.63 to 3.58, but I'm still very happy with myself. And I can't wait 'til Spring Quarter starts. It's gonna be frikkin' awesome!

For the Girl

2009-03-31T01:44:00.001-07:00

"When you love somebody, does it matter how long you'll wait to be with them? Does it matter what you'll do or even what you'll give to be with them? No. It only matters if it's worth it. And when you love somebody as much as I do... it's always worth it."

Think of this as a kind of placeholder for yet another story I hope to write. Probably sooner than later. Yes, the title will be For the Girl.

Well, I should really fall asleep now, as I'm in bed at the moment. I'll have another post up later today detailing the grades I got for Winter quarter. It's kind of what inspired me to write that little future excerpt up there :)

Now what am I supposed to do?

2009-03-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

Soo, Winter Quarter ended for me on Tuesday and until the grades come out at the end of the month, I'm happy thinking that I'll get the grades I hope for.

As it stands, I don't have to worry about reading, writing or studying at all until I go back. Which is nice. Believe me, I'm enjoying not having to worry about what assignments are due or what exams I'll be taking. The problem is... what am I supposed to do until school starts up again?

I'M BORED!

Yeah I've got work but that's over with once I get home. I even kinda miss having to get up at 8 in the morning, get ready, and worry about once again getting a decent parking spot. Until then, well I guess I can put up with more free time that is also stress free. The good kind of stress mind you.

Spring Quarter starts on April sixth and I've had my schedule set for about a month now.

Those classes would be:
English 102: English Composition II
English 246: American Literature WWI - Present
History 137: American History Civil War - Present

I got most of my books today (still need two more, one for each English class), and by the looks of it, I'll be doing a lot more reading this quarter. A lot more. Looking forward to it.

X & Y

2009-03-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that the first Coldplay album I got was the amazing Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. I had heard some of their singles and I liked what I was hearing alright, but nothing to make me rush out and buy their respective albums. Well, one of my friends at work is a big fan of theirs and he gave copies of Parachutes and X&Y to check out (I had... access A Rush of Blood to the Head already).

I don't usually do very well with a lot of band's debut albums when I've already heard their newer stuff (i.e. Foo Fighters, Everclear, Cake, etc.) so I went straight for X&Y. I gave it a listen while doing the dishes to see if any track in particular would grab me and if I should give it a more dedicated listen later.

There was no need.

From Square One to Twisted Logic I loved every track. It was one of those rare albums where no matter what track I started listening to, I had to listen all the way through and roundabout if needed. Y'know, start at track 6 and listen until you get to track 5. A couple songs really started to grab my attention so I was finally able to focus on individual songs and discover intricacies I couldn't really hear before.

I think the first song that caught me was 'What If.' The music was just a piano with a slow fade in of strings, so it was the lyrics that really grabbed my attention. For example, these lyrics:

What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

When I was first able to really hear these lyrics (wow Kelly, you need to be more observant), I laughed a little bit and sighed. From there I started to listen more to the other songs like White Shadows, Talk, Swallowed in the Sea and Speed of Sound. I had the chorus of Speed of Sound stuck in my head for hours at a time. Thank goodness I loved it so much.

Then I was grabbed by (in no real order) A Message, Square One, Fix You and The Hardest Part. Low and Twisted Logic have yet to do the same, but I'm sure they will soon. I loved the album as a whole and by individual tracks. So I decided to do what anybody interested in knowing more about something does: I went to Wikipedia of course!

I read through the abridged history of the album other stuff, then I got to the track listing. 'Til Kingdom Come? A hidden track that I don't have?! I remedied that very quickly and was very happy I did. It's a very touching love song that with a little non-standard tuning (CACBGe for those in the know, hehe) is very easy and fun to play. Here's the chorus to prove my point :)

For you I'd wait, til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
Just say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait
You'll wait for me

I've had the album for a few weeks now, but it wasn't until a couple days ago that I realized that the majority of the songs are about love. Not the easy kind either. The kind of love you work towards because it's worth it. Which definitely helps to explain why I like it so much. Then the album title made sense. X&Y refers to men and women. That's how I see it at least. And it explains the majority of the tracks being love songs.

The little quote I have up there below my blog title is from A Message, and it's found in the middle of this:

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna leave it until it's much too late
On a platform i'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home

My song is love, is love unknown
And I've got to get that message home

If you haven't already listened to it, you really should. It really is such an amazing album, and one I'll be listening to for the rest of my life.

You can has

2009-03-16T14:20:00.001-07:00

You can use this as a background for your computer, print it out and put it on your wall, or even buy the t-shirt that it comes on.

Here you can see how well it fits to a desktop.

I really will try to get an actual post up some time soon. Hopefully.

I sure can pick 'em

2009-03-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

Just to warn those who might be expecting a post with substance, this is going to be me talking about being single and how I wish that wasn't the case. I promise to try and make it funny though.

I've become more of a social person and less shy since I've started school. I'm speaking up in class and talking to other students and even making what you might call friends. It helps that whenever I do speak up I know what I'm talking about and I can be funny about it at the same time. I try to use whatever confidence I can glean from that to talk to those of the fairer sex: girls!

This quarter there have been two such girls. One in my Biological Anthropology class and the other in my Lord of the Rings class.

I started trying to talk to the girl in my LotR class first because hey, she's cute and she knows the source material inside and out. How can I go wrong? Well, it didn't last very long and we didn't talk much after that.

Then for the mid-term I got into a study group for my Anthro class and the girl that sits next to me was there. She was pretty too and we seemed to hit it off. Her and I would have little conversations before class started and we'd kinda talk during class. Then a couple weeks ago she expressed interest in reading one of my stories. I gave her a copy to read over the weekend and on Tuesday I asked her if she'd had a chance to read it. She did and she really liked it. We were walking together talking about it and having a really good time.

So very casually, and without any kind of expectation, I asked if she'd like to maybe go have lunch somewhere and talk about whatever. She smiled and said she'd like that and we set up a set up to hang out. I had Friday and Saturday off and she didn't have any plans. Cool.

Then the next day when class ended, she packed her stuff up as quickly as she could and bolted from the classroom. Trying not to be pessimistic about it (as I usually am, and I'm trying to change that), I figured she just really needed to get to class. So the next day, Thursday, I asked if we were still on for lunch and she apologized and said she remembered she had things to do before lunch.

That was when I got the hint. So I didn't call her on Friday, but to seem like I bought her excuse I called her on Saturday. Got her voicemail, left a quick and laid back message. Half hour later she calls back and says that again something has come up but "I'll see you in class on Monday." "Yeah, definitely. Have a good weekend!" I said with a happy-go-lucky inflection. So yeah, that was a bust.

I felt stupid thinking about it, but I figured why not try again with the other girl (noticed how I haven't used names? yeah, that's on purpose). So yesterday, having had more conversations with her in class, I wasn't going to do anything but I saw her leaving class and I said, out loud, "Ah screw it, I'll regret not doing it even more."

I slung off my backpack and ran over to her (she didn't see this) and called out to her. I apologized for the suddenness and asked if she'd like to hang out sometime and talk. Like over lunch maybe. She said she'd like that, and we could talk about it the next day after class. Good enough for me. I was more hesitant this time, but still hopeful.

So today comes, I get to class early and she's sitting there. We start to talk about LotR, the movies, the differences and having a really good time. Class pretty much starts after we're done. Even during class her and I were making points and counterpoints, agreeing and debating. This is awesome! Not just because she's really pretty and is into the same stuff, but because I'm having an intelligent conversation about literature!

So class ends, she waits up for me and we're walking and talking and having fun. Yeah, this is the catch: she's engaged. Showed me her ring, but she'd still like to hang out and maybe set up a marathon viewing of the movies for certain people in the class. So while a loss for the most part, there was a silver lining.

Her strengths are in English as a subject same as me, and (she admitted it was a tad egotistical) she's glad there's somebody on the same intellectual level as her in the same class. She doesn't have to dumb or slow anything down. I told her I really like her contributions and she told me the same.

So yeah. Still single with no change on the horizon. I seem to have a new friend though, so that's good.

I just wish that... well, that it was different.

I mean seriously! All these closed doors had damn well better be closed so the right door is that much more amazing when I finally come to it.

Watchmen

2009-03-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

I admit that I didn't really know about Watchmen until the talk about a movie finally being made started to make the rounds across the internet. Before that I had heard about it and it's legendary landmark status for comic books, but other than that nothing. Then the very first teaser came out and that sparked my interest.

I immediately went into Wiki-mode (yes I just made that up) and got to finding out everything I could about it without spoiling anything. Superheroes banned by the government: Nite Owl II, Rorschach, Ozymandias, Dr. Manhattan and Silk Spectre II. They were the players.

Intensified version of the Cold War, Nixon re-elected to third term as term limits lifted, Russia stockpiling nukes, war imminent, world likely to end. That was the setting.

The Comedian has been brutally murdered. This was the catalyst.

I eventually got around to getting the graphic novel when Amazon had it on sale for around $10. Once I started reading it was hard to put it down. Within a few days I finished it and... well, all the accolades it had received were very well warranted. It was a masterpiece!

Then of course I started to think about how this would even begin to translate to a single film. What would be cut out? What could be cut out? Like any great piece of fiction there were multiple threads to the story that ultimately led to it's shocking climax.

What I saw yesterday however, was about as close as anybody could possibly come to committing such an elaborate tale to film. It focused only on the main story and left out pretty much every other subplot. It definitely works for whoever has read the graphic novel as characters from those subplots are shown in the movie. It make sense since the main characters never interact with them. So seeing them is almost as if the movie is saying "Yes, they're still there."

It really was such an awesome movie. It even wins the "Best use of 'The Times They Are A-Changin' for an opening credit sequence" award. Hands down.

Placeholder

2009-03-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

Being 27 sure hasn't done anything to change my procrastinating tendencies. I'll have a blog up later tonight when I get home from work.

Birthday Traditions - Vacation!

2009-02-26T01:52:00.001-08:00

This is a lot later than I intended to post this, and a lot later than I planned to stay up, but I'm in a typing kind of mood and I'm at my creative best when I should really have been in bed hours ago.

So, if you'll remember, I had a birthday tradition whose conception was fairly recent, but has quickly become my favorite.

Now, if the title didn't give it away, it's GOING TO STAY AT JEFF AND HEIDI'S FOR A FEW DAYS!!! It's easily what I look forward to the most every year when my birthday rolls around. While I'm up there I don't need to worry about work, and now school, or any kind of pressure. I'm there with my sister and her family just relaxing and having fun.

Heidi and I, and sometimes Jeff, will go into the city and just do fun stuff. What's great is that with them, we could all be at Wal-Mart and we'd still be having fun. We have very similar senses of humor and are always finding ways to make each other laugh.

What's also awesome is seeing my two oldest nieces.

"Kelly, look at this!"
"Hey Kelly, check this out! Isn't it awesome?"
"Kelly, look what Bruce does when you do this!"

I'm always happy to look, listen and watch when it comes to Abbey and Lindsay. Yes it helps that to them I'm an awesome uncle who's really cool at everything! But I love them so much that I'm happy to oblige regardless.

I get to talk games, sci-fi, webcomics and all kinds of geek stuff with Jeff. It's always a great outlet to have somebody that likes the same stuff I do and can carry on a conversation that occasionally dips into said geekery.

I practically speak only in quotes from TV shows with Heidi and she gets just about every single one of them. If she ever has to ask, I tell her where it's from and she immediately remembers it. That and it's always just really nice to hang out with my older sister, where I can relax and really be myself.

I went up there in mid January and I had a blast. It went by waaay too quickly. I also missed going to Abbey's school to have lunch with her so that made me sad. I'm going up for spring break though, and hopefully it won't be at the same time as Abbey's so I can finally eat lunch with her. She always asks and I always miss it. Not this time though.

So as you can see, yes, it's very safe to say, and very correct to say, that going to spend time with my sister and her family up in Spokane is my favorite birthday tradition of all.

Birthday Traditions - Free Food

2009-02-22T02:46:00.000-08:00

I think going out to have lunch or dinner with my parents (usually my mom) for my birthday started around the same time I started seeing movies.

I remember the first time we went was my sophomore year. We all got dressed up and went to Red Lobster together. I don't think I'd ever been there before so I had no idea what to order. I just wanted regular breaded, deep fried shrimp, but they had all these exotic ways to prepare it. I listened to my parents and got some skewered garlic buttered shrimp. Yeah, uhh... no.

I had a great time with my parents though :)

I'll never forget what I came home to though. Donald and Eric were watching a movie with two of the most popular girls at my school. I'm glad I was dressed up and looking good, because it kinda threw them for a loop. I was a geek that never bothered to put on anymore than cargo pants and a t-shirt for school. Y'know, and that whole social outcast geek thing. I owned that scene!

So, an auspicious start to a long lasting birthday tradition. I always look forward to the lunch or dinner (or both, like this year) I get to have with my mom. I think the only time my dad went along was that first time.

Be sure to come back for what I believe is safe to say is now my favorite birthday tradition. It's a recent one, but that doesn't make it any less special.

Birthday Traditions - Movies

2009-02-21T03:31:00.000-08:00

Not quite sure how it happened, but 11 years ago I thought it'd be a great idea to go see a movie for my birthday. What movie should I go see though?

I wanted to see Sphere, The Wedding Singer and Titanic, but I didn't know which one to choose. Then it occurred to me that it was my birthday. So why shouldn't I see two of them? And if I'm seeing two, why not all three?

It was a novel idea in that a lot of people questioned why going to see three movies was a good idea. Because it's not something you do, and it's my birthday.

So from then on it became my own tradition to go see two or three movies by myself for my birthday. I don't think I've missed a year which is kinda cool to think about :) Part of the fun is planning out what times I'll go see what movie. One movie may start earlier, but it might be really short and end way before the second movie starts so I'll have to re-organize. It helps to have a car so I won't have to limit myself to only one theater, so before I could drive my options were limited.

So, I go to the theater to watch movies for my birthday. Just one of my birthday traditions. I'll blog about my other two tomorrow and Sunday.

edit: and yes, I understand that Sunday is technically tomorrow given the time, but I don't consider the day having ended until I go to sleep, and the new day starts until I wake up.

My Sign

2009-02-20T01:34:00.000-08:00

This is actually pretty accurate.

Real blog to come soon.

Pandora and the Ark

2009-02-17T12:30:00.000-08:00

Being a dishwasher I see a lot of, you guessed it, dishes! They range from the obvious plates, glasses and silverware to pots, plastic containers, pans, frying pans, sheet pans, half pans, full pans, drain pans... there's a lot of pans.

What's great about a lot of those dishes is that every kind generally matches well with their own kind. Y'know what I mean? The plastic containers fit into other plastic containers, frying pans are the same size; they match. That's good. Because there's definitely a certain amount of space to put everything and it can only get more crowded. The last thing anybody needs is to have a bunch of malformed dishes screwing up the necessity of stacking.

Well, unfortunately we've got about a hundred of 'em in the form of plates. How they came into the hotels possession is almost mythical. We're pretty sure they came from Richland by mistake but we haven't been able to give them back. All we know is they're there and we can't get rid of them.

Now, they're not that much different from the plates that are actually ours. They're maybe a couple centimeters smaller and are a bit deeper. The dining room staff as well as banquets are barely able to tell the difference. Put one of them in a tall stack of regular plates and then you've got a problem.

What should be a stable ceramic tower is now liable to topple should anyone glance askance at it.
So naturally these plates are a problem when we run out of regular plates and need to use them. What's funny (in a cosmic sort of way, which means not funny at all) is the cart they're in is broken and has a big hand written note saying they shouldn't be used at all. It never works, and few weeks ago enough was enough.

I went to Brandon and told him that sorting them back into their own stacks was getting out of hand. Dining room and banquets either refused to, or didn't know they had to, stack them separately so as to avoid plate smashing catastrophe. I offered to put them in their broken cart and roll them down the hill and hope for the best. Y'know, natural selection and all that.

He agreed that they were a problem (he didn't agree on my proposal), and suggested we box them up and hide them somewhere.

Fine by me.

Brandon picked out a couple boxes to put them and gave them to me for reinforcement and placement. Using some really high quality duct tape I secured the bottom of the boxes so nothing could fall out. For the first box I shoved more than half of the plates into it. I guess I thought I could fit all of them in there but once it was full I still had about 25 or 30 plates left. I taped up the top and asked Brandon if I could borrow his sharpie.

Now I couldn't just write 'DON'T USE' on the box because look at how effective that was for the cart. As I am wont to be, I got a little creative.

Ark of the Covenant
Do not open ever!
You have been warned!

I showed it to Brandon and it got a pretty big laugh so I knew I'd done my job. I took the Ark back into banquets and stuffed it away in a nice little hidey spot. As I walked back the line, "It's being examined by top men." kept replaying in my head.

I still had the other box though. I put the rest of the plates in it and taped up the top like I did with the other box. I just didn't know what to put on the top of it. The answer came to me pretty quick and I scrawled away.

Pandora's Box
Don't open this one either!

I put it back with the Ark and was quite happy with myself. The idiot plates were out of the way and would only be seen if there was a really big event. And it'd surely be a long time until that happened.

Well it didn't take long. The other day Brandon came up to me and told me they had to open one of the boxes.

"Crap. Well wait, which one did they open?" I asked.
"Oh, don't worry, they only opened Pandora's. The Ark is still sealed." Brandon answered.
"Good, if the Ark had been opened that would have sucked."
"You don't have to tell me."

As Brandon walked away I thought for a second about what had just happened. I wasn't expecting that when I named the boxes that it would stick. It felt kinda cool to have created a kind of in-joke at work. A code if you will.

I'm pretty sure that not many people know they're back there because Brandon told me he went and got them himself when he was told more plates were needed for the banquet that night. So hopefully the secret is still safe.

I'd hate to get fired if somebody's face gets melted off because they needed a few more plates.

Freakin' Awesome!

2009-02-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

Blink 182 is back together!

I really don't know what else to say.

Check It!

Question

2009-02-05T00:25:00.000-08:00

Is there anything more painful than listening to teenagers philosophize with each other? Well yes I'm quite sure there are any number of tortures that easily outmatch it, but how often are we actually tortured like that?

As I'm writing this there's a group of three kids sitting in front of me and they're all having a conversation. Well, the kid in the red shirt is talking and the other two are nodding and confirming everything he's saying. So really, he's preaching and the choir is eating it all up.

Does he really think that's conducive? Where's the counterpoint in all of this? Who's playing devil's advocate while all this self aggrandizing is going on?

I would very much like to say something right now and burst his bubble, but I'm pretty sure that when he's older (and hopefully knows better) he'll realize how unwarranted his massive ego is.

Damn well better be, he's so annoying.

Nevermind that this is posted 12 hours after the fact. I had a class to go to and then papers to write :)

Wait, say what?

2009-02-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

Last quarter I told all of you about the critical reviews I had to do for my Psychology class and how I always scored pretty high on them. I even got my grade boosted to 25 out of 25 for two of them, and 23 on the other two. I also said how I never got started on them until a couple days before they were due but as you can see, that was never a problem.

So this quarter I have Biological Anthropology with the same teacher I had in Psychology. If you're following the pattern, I've got more critical reviews to procrastinate on. We got our first article to review on the 15th and it was due on the 22nd. If I put off doing them until late last quarter, then I did this one pretty much at the very last second. I finished it around 1:20 AM or so and spent about 10 minutes proofreading and editing the thing.

I didn't even do the special cover sheet where we sum up the main point/s and things we learned from the article. Not including that is an automatic 10 points off the paper. I had to do that when I woke up and the first few minutes of class. Last quarter Psychology was my last class and I had two hours between it and my second class as a kind of buffer. Not so now, since this is my first class.

So I was positive that what I was going to turn in seven hours later would be lucky to see a score above 15. So, fast forward to this morning when we get our reviews back. Instead of being passed out, papers, quizzes and tests are set up front to be picked up. I didn't really want to get mine because I'd hate to go from a great round of reviews last quarter to a disappointing start this quarter. Needing to know everything though, I got it.

But I wasn't going to look!

But that needing to know thing...

You only see outrageously physical double takes in cartoons and most sitcoms. I am here to tell you different.

I nearly snapped my neck when I saw that I had gotten a 23 out of 25 on my last minute, under the gun, rush job of a paper getting an 'A'. I was sorely tempted to speak with Dr. Taff (that's the professor, duh :P) and tell him that I don't think I got the right grade for my paper.

I didn't, but only because this year the critical reviews will be different. Instead of four of them this quarter, only three will be needed. There will still be four articles, and all four can be reviewed, but only three will be scored and count towards the final grade. The lowest getting dropped of course.

So I'll be doing all four of them to make up for what I consider to be an overly generous score. Unless of course the paper really was that good, haha.

Journal

2009-01-29T12:07:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a wall of text so I'm just warning you ahead of time that if you start to get lost it's perfectly okay to turn around and go right back to wherever you were before you came here and saw that I just started typing without an end goal in mind. I have to say that I'm still incredibly surprised that 'okay' gets the red squiggly line underneath it indicating that there's something wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with it though. Okay is a word. YES IT IS YOU INEPT SPELL CHECKER! GAH! Anyway, where was I? Oh, that's right: nowhere! I'm pretty much just typing for typings sake and I'm going to keep typing until either it's been 10 minutes since I started or I feel that I can't really type anymore. At least that's what I'm supposed to do for the journal I'm supposed to be keeping for my English 101 class. Oh snap, that's right! This was supposed to be a little blog about the journal I'm supposed to be keeping for my English 101 class. Woah, deja vu. Wait, woah isn't a word either on here? I know it's slang but even slang eventually becomes common vernacular. Hmm, vernacular didn't get the red squiggly line so maybe the spell checker isn't stupid so much as it isn't savvy, hip or with it. Has it been 10 minutes already? No? Okay then. So anyway, about this journal I'm supposed (are you sick of that word yet?) to be keeping for my class. We need at least 50 entries but there's no minimum. I know, logical paradox and what not but that doesn't matter. The guidelines for writing in this journal is that it needs to be at least 250 words, and we have to spend at least 10 minutes on each entry. Other than that we're completely free to talk about whatever it is we want to talk about. Somebody cut me off in traffic, write about it. Hell, the whole journal would be about idiot drivers if I took the time to document every one that I saw. That's just an example though. We might see something pretty like a sunset or blooming flowers and write about those. Or maybe write about a book we read or a movie we saw and try to wring a 10 minute expose on the experience. For example: 'I went in, saw the movie, left when the credits started to roll.' Now, that's not 250, and while it might have taken 10 minutes to write if you suck at using a pencil or peck at the keyboard desperately trying to find where that stupi... (WHERE'S THE D!? Oh, there it is) stupid letter is that you so desperately need. If you can't write to save your life (not that writing has ever saved or ever will save your life) and you don't know what a home row is then maybe worrying about a journal for English 101 isn't your biggest concern right now.

TEN MINUTES!!!

Sleep

2009-01-20T01:00:00.000-08:00

I enjoy sleeping very much.

School and work have cut into this little hobby of mine recently but that's alright. Because while I do enjoy sleeping, being awake has taken more of a precedence.

A kind of dichotomy has been created.

While I'm awake, I don't look forward to going to sleep. It isn't until it's absolutely necessary that I finally drag myself to bed and pass out from a long day of school and dirty dishes. Because once I do fall asleep, I'll just wake up again and start the whole process over again.

It's not a bad process by any means. I love school this quarter and I really like my job too. Is it just the fact that I'm starting over in a way? I haven't lost any progress but sometimes it feels like I have.

Which is ridiculous.

I'm missing quite a bit to be sure, but I know that'll remedy itself in time.

So while I don't want the day to end as much as I don't want the day to begin, there's that time in between. While I'm sleeping obviously. Because while I'm sleeping, anything can happen. I can dream that everything is how it should be (more accurately, how I'd like it to be), and the impossible is possible.

I have the most vivid dreams of flight that it's a wonder I haven't figured it out in the real world yet. I'm with those that I love and there isn't anything to get in the way of that. I don't think I could properly convey my desire to stay where everything is perfect.

I can easily convey my displeasure at it being taken away, but who's to say that what I've woken up to won't be the day the dream becomes reality.

So is it the day I fear to wake up to, or the dream I hate to wake up from?

I hope that some day it will be neither.

That the only thing I will miss from my dreams is the long cherished ability to fly. And that what I wake up to will be better than any dream I may have.

There is no title appropriate enough. Please just read.

2009-01-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

'Oh you have got to be kidding me.' or one of it's many variations is sure to cross your mind and/or lips before this blog is over. Should be fun :)

So after school today I was feeling pretty hungry. I remembered that I still had a five dollar coupon for Taco Bell so I decided to go there. Normally I go through the drive-thru but the line was so long I decided it was best to actually go inside. I know, novel idea right?

Anyway, I ordered my food without incident but while I was waiting for my order to come up, an older lady came inside holding a small Taco Bell bag. Obviously something must have gone wrong with her order and she was coming inside to have it fixed. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

It's a good thing I listened to the conversation this older lady had with the worker behind the counter or I'd have thought so too.

What really happened was this lady had gotten two extra items by mistake and was trying to return them. 'Oh, she's just being honest.' I thought. Not entirely uncommon, but still a rarity when it comes to fast food.

Then she kept talking.

Turns out that she didn't just want to return the extra food, she wanted money for it.

Yes, that's right. She was holding the food for ransom!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and apparently the worker talking to her couldn't either. The lady was given the options of either keeping it ('But my husband doesn't want it, and if I eat it, I'll get fat) or throwing it away ('Well I don't want to be wasteful'). But she kept insisting that she be paid for returning food she got for free, by accident!

I was severely tempted to walk up, say 'Oh, I'll take it!', pick up the bag and leave. I didn't obviously, or else I would have played up that angle of the story quite a bit, but I was soo close.

Really though, I'm just glad that I was there to witness such a thing.

Good for you

2009-01-07T22:55:00.000-08:00

"Hey, Kelly. Do you smoke?"
"No, I don't."
"Oh. Well good for you."
"Wow."
"What is it?"
"Hmm? Oh it's nothing really. I just didn't know people got congratulated for not purposely killing themselves."
"Oh."
"Do I get a cookie?"

I've actually had the first third of this conversation a few times. It's usually followed by "Yeah, I really need to quit." which itself is followed by a long drag. I can only assume it's their attempt at irony, which while technically proficient, is undoubtedly unintentional. Yeah. They totally want to quit.

Naturally the rest of the conversation up there is where I would absolutely love for it to go.

I also like telling people I don't drink. I have to reassure them a few times because they never believe me and keep whittling down the instances in which I might drink. Like so:

"So you don't go to bars?"
"You don't drink at parties?"
"You don't drink at home?"
"You don't drink ever?"

I mean it. No.

Is it seriously that hard to believe that somebody of legal drinking age doesn't want to and chooses not to drink?

I guess it's just because of the way I was raised that being told "Good for you." for not doing something that's bad for me throws me off so much.

Zune Backgrounds

2009-01-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

Ever since I got my Zune about a year ago I've kept an eye out for pictures worthy of being my background. The only problem is it can't just be any picture. Due to the tallways rectangular shape of the Zune screen, and the fact that it refuses to scale or stretch an image to fit it, the picture needs to be in the general shape of a DVD case.

So pretty much whenever I see something remotely cool looking that's taller than it is fatter, I download it just to be safe. Since I know some of my blog readers are proud Zune users themselves, I'm going to post some of my favorite ones so far.

This one doesn't quite fit, but it still looks pretty good. Like something Tolkien didn't get around to creating.

Yes this is from one 'o them Japaneesy comics but the black and white contrast still looks great on the screen. And don't tell me it doesn't look cool.

This one fits just about perfectly on the screen and it's a great picture to boot. You'd never guess it was a library.

I don't know if he's going to break my kneecaps or if he's choking on his Coke Zero.

Again, it fits the screen and shows up really well. Pretty too.

I think Lewis Carroll would be proud.

This is naturally occurring? Where can I get some? Because that's freakin' awesome!

These are just some of the ones that can be enjoyed by people that aren't just me. I would think that it's obvious I've got about 50 other anime/game/music themed pics stashed on my Zune. For the other owners out there please, give these a download. Because you never know when you might be in the mood to have a goon with a coke bottle mouth be your Zune background.

♪♫This is how we go to school♪♫

2009-01-03T14:06:00.000-08:00

I'm going back to school on Monday and since I want to be presentable, I went and got a haircut. I also did some clothes shopping for Christmas and I really like what I got. Then it occurred to me that I might want to record this momentous occasion for posterity... sort of. Anyway, I took pictures so here ya go!

See how casual I look?

See how relaxed I am?

I think I prefer the casual look though.

And this is how I'll look when I go back to school on Monday.

I'll be looking pretty freakin' cool if ya ask me.

Well that was my self indulgent post for the week. Also my third in as many days. Is that a roll I'm on or what?

Why Anime?

2009-01-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

There's a drastic shortage of mediums that can accommodate the telling of stories the way animation can. Sadly, most of America seems to think that animation means strictly kiddie fare that every so often can be enjoyed by adults. With anime, it's no holds barred as for what stories can be told.

Sure there are plenty of brainless "I'm better/faster/stronger than you and I can prove it by flexing my muscles at you and breathing heavily for 20 minutes" kinds of series, but those are aimed squarely at kids that don't know any better. Now, I could list off all kinds of anime that showcase the best the medium has to offer, but there's one in particular I'm going to talk about:

BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad is about a group of friends that form a band and work their way through the club scene. Let me tell you about the main character for a little bit though.

This is Koyuki.
He's 14 years old
and as any 14 year
old boy would be,
he's just a tad
disillusioned with
his life. Nothing
interesting ever
happens and it's
likely that nothing
ever will.

One day he meets a guy named Ryusuke. At first Koyuki is less than impressed, but after another chance encounter he's invited to hang out with him. Turns out Ryusuke is really into rock music and turns Koyuki onto a few of the basics; like Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Eric Clapton, The Beatles etc. Koyuki is amazed at what he's hearing, as he's lived solely on J-Pop or whatever was popular at the time

Eventually he's invited to one of Ryusuke's shows and is mesmerized by his guitar playing skills. Koyuki decides right then to learn how to play. Pretty soon Koyuki and Ryusuke form a band with some of their (very talented) friends and they play local clubs together.

They name their band Beck, after Ryusuke's dog. They were hesitant to use the name at first because it's already in use by Beck and Jeff Beck, obviously. They even release an EP in America but are renamed Mongolian Chop Squad by the indie record label exec to avoid confusion and lawsuits. Hence the title of the anime.

Through a series of (at times exciting and sad) events, Koyuki and his band mates land a spot for one of the biggest music festivals in Japan, Grateful Sound 5. Just before they're due to go on, there's a kind of falling out among the bandmates as the audience is waiting for them to come on.

Koyuki isn't about to let this opportunity pass by, so he goes up on stage by himself and starts playing "I've Got A Feeling" by The Beatles. Inspired by him, the rest of the band joins him on stage one by one. For me, it's seriously one of the best moments of any story I've read or watched.

I threw this video together because the performance takes place in two episodes. After they finish the song they play the rest of their set and end with a crowd of a few thousand cheering them on. Really great stuff. Unfortunately, the anime ends shortly after. Fortunately it's based off of a manga so the story doesn't end there. They even manage to tour the US.

So if you ask me why I love anime so much, it's because of series like this. It shows that any story can be told using animation, and can be told well.

Work in progress

2009-01-01T02:54:00.000-08:00

I heard a song tonight that really moved me and reminded me of the first songs that I wrote. Back then I wasn't trying to impress anybody or make a song that sounded good; I was just writing what came to me.

I've tried before to recapture the desire to just write and not care if it's catchy or smart or cool, but I haven't been able to stay in that mindset long enough to get a good base going. Fortunately I was just in the right mood to write without anything getting in the way of my words. I think what I managed to write came out really well and I'd like to share all of it with you.

I recorded myself singing it so I should have the music by tomorrow. I'd really like to get started recording the nice little backlog I've built up for myself. I'd really like to get a decent amount recorded and put them up on here via a playlist.

Soon :)

According to plan

If nothing ever goes the way you plan it
Wouldn’t it be better, if you lived without a plan?
To push aside the ones that try to lead you
Instead of meeting their demands
Just ask yourself if all you really want
Is to be grown up but not yet be a man

You can take your time
But is it worth the climb?
When you reach the top I’m sure you’ll have your answer
It’s a state of mind
But one you can’t define
And all you’ll know is that you’ve gotten what you’re after

You’ll realize
You’ll see it with your eyes
What started out as a disaster
Has proceeded as according to the plan

New Year's, how do I celebrate thee, let me count the ways...

2008-12-31T21:59:00.000-08:00

There are none actually.

I've always taken a bit of pride in the fact that I don't ever really celebrate the new year. Maybe it's because more bad than good has happened on New Year's for me. I wouldn't be surprised if something big happens tonight I'll be less than thrilled about, but I've got about two hours or so of my time zone left to find out.

As for why I don't celebrate the holiday; I've just never seen the need.

Ever since I was 11 or 12 I've thought of New Year's as a somewhat pathetic excuse to absolve oneself of whatever mediocrities or inefficiencies they thought made them less of a person than they wanted to be since the last time January 1st came around. Y'know, because this time they're really going to change.

See? This whole cynicism thing isn't new :P

Another thing that bugs me are the parties. Not the fun little family parties where the adults are only staying up past midnight for traditions sake and go home and go to sleep before the first hour of the new year is even past. No, I'm talking about the 'Hey, let's all get drunk off our asses and then because we're drunk, be asses!' parties.

Y'know, the kind that vapid assholes usually throw and go to.

So while I'm apathetic to the whole New Year's thing, I'm always happy when the new year just gets here so everyone (i.e. the media) can shut up about it.

And for those of you considering making any reference to 1992; you will have your comment deleted if you do.

Happy New Year!

Excerpt, snippet, preview; whatever you want to call it

2008-12-29T17:32:00.000-08:00

Friggat - by Kelly Sorenson

“Plenty of people would consider being born on Friday the 13th somewhat unlucky. More people than that like to point out to me that it’s considered unlucky. Out of all those people however, very few would believe in all the good luck I had because of my birthday.”

“Right up until my third heart attack.”

Chapter One

Thomas R. Martin set his alarm for 6 A.M., so it was a surprise to him when he woke up to see it flashing 6:34. Normally the alarm clock’s digits would flash in time with the loud beeping meant to wake him, but there it was; technically half-assing it’s job in silent, unaware bliss. Thomas switched off the alarm, and immediately his bedroom reverberated with an intensified version of the beeping he expected to hear about 35 minutes earlier. When he couldn’t unplug it, he began yanking on the power cord frantically.

“Thomas? Why is that so loud?” His wife turned over just in time to be attacked by the power cord of the alarm clock.
“Oh crap! Honey I’m sorry. I couldn’t turn off the alarm so I tried to unplug it and, well you know… I’m sorry.” His wife smiled, giggling ever so audibly.
“Happy Birthday Thomas.”

Thomas believed his alarm clock’s behavior to be the result of a power surge, but when no other appliance seemed defective in any way he started to wonder. Either way, the powerful aroma of freshly ground coffee stayed his wandering mind, removing whatever sleep was left after such an exciting morning. Nothing else exciting would happen today, but exciting things were in development.

Before we get into that, we need to do a little digging into his past. Thomas was indeed born on Friday the 13th, April 1951 and every subsequent birthday on a Friday brought him tremendous luck:

On his fifth birthday an invitation was mistakenly mailed to a little girl that would someday be his wife.

On his 11th birthday while riding his bike he noticed a flash of silver on the ground and stopped to examine it. Seconds later a car screamed past where he would have been had he not stopped.

His 22nd birthday brought him an interview with a major accounting firm. Exhibiting such confidence from knowing what day it was, he aced the interview getting the job no problem.

When he turned 28 a wrong turn during a drive with his wife brought them to their dream house whose price had just dropped for lack of a buyer.

At 33 he was looking to add-on to his house when he won big on a scratch ticket making it possible.

His 39th birthday didn’t yield such results. After a routine day at work, Thomas lied in bed still expecting a burst of good luck to happen upon him. His wife wasn’t even wearing anything special to bed. He felt jilted now that he thought about it. Why should this birthday be any different when others with the same circumstances were amazing? Beyond extraordinary. He felt now was the time to say something.

“Julie?”
“What is it Thomas?”
“You remember the day we met right?”
“Well of course, it was your fifth birthday party.”
“When we found this house?”
“Yes, that was your 28th. Honey why are you-“
“And when I won the lottery I turned 33.”
“I know sweetie, I was there. Is this about your superstitions again?” Thomas smiled and rolled his eyes. He didn’t mind being called superstitious because he knew better. He knew the truth.
“It saved my life and got me the job I love. You can’t just put a stamp of simple coincidence on any of them. We’ve been over this.”
“Thomas I know we have.” Julie loved teasing her husband, but she knew this subject was off limits. “But you can’t expect it to continue. Luck always runs out.”
“This is beyond luck Julie.” Looking at his wife, Thomas saw how beautiful she was and felt reassured that his luck was still fully intact. “Don’t worry though, let’s just get some sleep.”

They smiled at each other as they turned over in bed, reaching to click off their respective bedside lamps. Thomas leaned over the side to set his alarm clock when a blunt force struck him in the chest.

“Thirteen.” His brow furrowed.
“What? Thomas, what is it?”
“6:34 equals thirteen.”
“What does that mean?”
“Never mind, it’s nothing. G’night.” He turned over and soon fell asleep.