I'm not old enough for this

I miss the days when I would go see Independence Day at the Metro Four with my Dad.

I'd be in my room looking out the window at a clear night sky when he would pop his head in and ask, "Hey Kelly, you want to go see Independence Day tonight?" Before I could even say 'Yes' I'd already have my shoes on and be walking out of my room. I know it's cliché, but it's true that the little inconsequential things matter, and are usually what we remember most fondly.

I remember having to walk home from the mall one day after going to see it. Thankfully I was with Jared, my best friend at the time, and we had a lot of fun on our long, often misguided way back home. I really miss walking to his house practically every day during the summer. I miss all those things I did with Jared, but they wouldn't be memories if they couldn't be missed. I think that's a worthwhile trade.

For years there were pink and blue smudges on the windows of my truck that faded away one by one. One day when I was leaving for work I looked where the last pink smudge had been for months and it was gone. It took me a second to realize why it seemed so off for my rear window to be smudge free. It's not that I had forgotten why it was there, but it had become so routine to look at that one spot and smile that it didn't quite register that it was gone.

The smudges were from KaTrina and her friends writing on my windows with those special markers. They also filled up my truck with balloons and other stuff. I wasn't exactly surprised seeing as how I gave my consent, but it made me happy that KaTrina followed through with her "threat." Seeing plain glass where the last pink smudge had been for so long cemented that memory in my mind.

The other day, I was lying in bed when Sasha jumped up to come and sniff my face, startling me. That in turn startled her and she ran out of my room. I went to go after her but I heard a very familiar sound coming from Shawn's room. I looked in and it was a home movie of Donald's last day of his paper route. What really caught my eye was the beige, ring tailed, round eared cat I hadn't seen for years sniffing at Donald much like Sasha does to me.

Mazy talked a lot more though.

One of the first few thoughts that ran through my head after seeing her was that she's in heaven right now just waiting for her family to show up. I loved that cat. When I say she talked, oh did she ever talk. Easiest cat to ever have a conversation with. She had a past that we could only guess at, but that didn't matter anymore because she was a part of our family.

I remember being there when we had her put down vividly. I stroked her fur. I scratched behind her ear. She was so quiet.

My Dad built her a nice little box that we lined with fabric. Courtney and I both gave her her two favorite things to play with; a rubber band and one of those clear water bottle caps, one by each paw. When I move out and get a cat, I'm hoping it'll have the same affinity for them.

I've always looked forward, wondering what will become of my life as I and those around me grow older. There's always a bit of sadness that comes with thinking about the future, because we need to trade in the past in order to get there. What I've talked about in this blog is all in the past, and while I'd like to go back and visit those happier times (I would give anything for that to be so), there are always going to be more.

More memories to make and some day think back on with fondness, wishing to revisit them just once more.

Now, I didn't just pour out my heart and soul and cry over my cat for nothing. I want comments. KaTrina and my Mom are exempt from this request because they don't need to be requested. I know you're reading this and it really does mean a lot to me when I get more than 2 or 3 comments per painstakingly written entry. I'm running out of ways to get them. Making a video of me dancing to Aqua or Eiffel 65 songs is on the list somewhere and I'd rather not get that far thank you very much.

I'll even throw in this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory spoof for good measure:

WW: "The strawberries taste like strawberries. The schnozberries taste like schnozberries."
VS: "Schnozberry? Whoever heard of a schnozberry?"
WW: :sigh: "Alright, y'know what? Just-Just go. There is a line between spoiled brat and ungrateful little- and well, you crossed it. You have been nothing but nasty this entire time and frankly I've had enough of it. Just leave... No, you don't get a song! Leave!"