High School, amirite?

I didn't want to go to sleep last night. The reason? I was too busy rocking out on my awesome guitar to want to! It was pretty sweet. When I finally began to wear myself out it was 3AM, and Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion had started on TBS. It's an alright movie in the way it merges Dumb and Dumber with generic high school fantasy movies, but the scene where the head bitch sticks magnets to Michelle's back brace actually rang true. High school sucked for those of us who stuck out and didn't have enough friends to dissuade bullies.

Thankfully this post won't be a never ending gripe-fest about how miserable I was throughout high school. It isn't true, for one. There were plenty of times when I was genuinely happy and, despite not drowning in them, I had friends. Still, there were assholes that bullied me and teachers that actively despised me (okay, one teacher). Y'know what, though? Just like I just said, I made it out in one piece!

Those Rose Tinted Glasses
If the movies are to be accepted as doctrine then high school is the best and most defining moment of life, stretched out over four years (five years in my case. we'll get to that). Unless you're still pining for those halcyonic glory days as you stand on the showroom floor of an appliance store, that's bullshit. I never went to Homecoming or Prom so I'm a little undereducated, but even those couldn't have possibly made up for slumping through the same boring halls with the same boring people day after day. I spent my time between classes walking to class and not once did I see any theatrics worth putting to film.

I treated that place like World War I, head down and charging forward, my headphones blaring Green Day, Foo Fighters, Blink-182 and Everclear like a sonically induced force field. I have fond memories, but they have more to do with the people and the moments than the location. I have to admit though; it was pretty flippin' awesome to watch our girls basketball team win State. It just was.

I'm not an idiot.
Academically... good lord. I can't quite remember the exact GPA I graduated with, but it was something like 1.42 or less. I just did not want to do the work and I was way too lazy to even give a damn. It frustrated my teachers because they could see I was smart enough to not be scraping by on a low C. The teachers had it easy compared to my parents. My mom especially. Teachers were under the utterly false impression that my parents didn't care or even try to make me do my homework. While I wish that I had done better in that regard, I feel much worse for the stress I put my mom through.

My college GPA and the friendly relationships I have with some of my professors is proof enough that I could have very well kicked some academic ass in high school. If there was any reason to do it again, that would be the only reason. It would have to be one of those weird today-me waking up in 1996 and then-me's body, but one can't be choosy in their time travel escapades. Even then my second senior year was arguably my best, so I don't know if I'd want to give that up.

Friend(les)s
That bold font is lying. I had friends. What I had more of were friendly acquaintances thanks to whatever classes I had, but I had friends. If this is coming off as defensive, it really shouldn't be. Sure I spent a majority of my lunch hours alone in Mr. Woodford's classroom, but the guy had the internet. The internet! Those other people were suckers for driving to crowded Taco Bells and McDonald's. Some of the journalism crew were there too when I first started going, but they graduated and the next year I had the place to myself. Eventually some dorky underclassmen showed up and refused to leave, but they turned out to be pretty cool. So while I wasn't the social butterfly, and still aren't, I had friends... I totally did.

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
This will be short. I had a girlfriend my freshman year, and sort of a girlfriend (for two weeks) my senior year. The former broke it off and I ended it with the latter. I think the best way to describe my attempts to "get with" the fairer sex, is simply to ask that you YouTube Michael Scott's most embarrassing/facepalm worthy moments and apply them to a geeky, awkward and severely introverted boy angling for a girlfriend in high school. Done? Cool. If you think that was bad it's even worse on my end. Because that was me. :P

Life moves pretty fast...
Ferris Bueller is a personal hero of mine. He was super popular, but it was because he genuinely did not give a shit about high school. Not in the way that he was unlikely to graduate or get into a good college, but that he was above the politics and drama so commonly associated with it. His was an attitude I tried to adopt for myself with mixed results. In the years since my tenure at Kennewick High I have truly succeeded at not caring about it and moving on. Except for the odd post rambling on about it every now and then that is.

My 10 year reunion will have been two years ago this June. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not, so I let my work schedule decide. I worked. I mean no offense and bear no ill will to those that went, but being stuck in a dishpit for four hours was probably a better use of my time than attending my reunion. After all, I was with a friend and got paid to be there. I can't say that for high school.




I had friends, dammit! Why won't anyone believe me?!