You are neurotic and depressed. It doesn't mean that you're sad.

Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Do you think they spent much time deciding which words to use for this? They must have. Because after looking at it for a while, each of the words fit perfectly. Well, you could make the case to change seasonal to solstice but you still have the 'S' in there. So yeah, SAD.

Fitting, right? If you know what it is. I'm sure you do, but for those who might not, here ya go: Seasonal affective disorder is a mood disorder where people who feel just fine throughout the year get all depressed when night time starts at 4PM. Also known as winter depression. So again, fitting.

Being depressed isn't the same as being sad though. At least when you're sad you're feeling something (is there a reason I'm italicizing 's' words?). When you're depressed you don't feel much of anything, save for the occasional surge of extreme emotion. For me at least.

I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving, I don't want anything for Christmas, I'm having a harder time waking up and doing what I want to do. Kinda sucks.

It's been a few years since I've felt like this, so I doubt that it's SAD. Mostly because SAD is supposed to occur every year for those it affects, and this started before daylight savings was switched off. It doesn't help that there are outside sources screwing with my already altered system, but whatcha gonna do?

I've made it through worse and I've come out better. Just wish the better wasn't on the other side of winter.

I didn't write this for sympathy or kind words so please, no 'Kelly you'll get through this' or 'What's wrong, I'm here to help.' I wrote this to try and alleviate some of the inherent misery that comes with being a depressed person so close to the holidays.

Brownie points to whoever knows where the title of this jolly little post comes from. And a little gold star for whoever guesses how hard I'm going to kick myself for even posting this.