Go to bed

I can forget what I like
And know what I choose
Until I wake up
Always moments too soon

To sleep is to dream
When the moment is right
In a blink it can happen
And I regain my sight

The unlikely, improbable
Nigh on impossible
All within reach...

If I could just go to sleep

9 - Seriously, check this out

LOST

This post is going to go over what happened on the season 5 finale of Lost, so if you haven't seen it, don't read this until you have seen it.

.:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:.

First of all, that wasn't Jacob that was visiting everybody.

Surely that's obvious, yes?

It was whoever that guy was that wanted to kill Jacob at the beginning of the episode. If you didn't come to that conclusion and are balking at my logic, or asking "Then why did he take the form of Jacob? It's not like they would recognize or see him later." let me explain.

Firstly, it would destroy the surprise if it was that other guy, so it couldn't be him for the audience's sake. Secondly, he can obviously change forms and wanted to hide his identity at all costs. The most important reason, he was selecting them to set his plan in motion: that of killing Jacob. By going and talking to all of the original survivors he altered their paths to all meet on Oceanic Flight 815, which would ultimately crash on the island and set off the chain of events.

I believe the only time we actually see Jacob leave the island is when he talks to the bounty hunter (though that's questionable now) that brought in Sayid. Probably as a matter of insurance in case his 'friend' succeeds in killing him.

It's almost as if Jacob is God, and the other guy is Satan. Satan is desperate for any way to kill God, but God will always prevail no matter what. Which brings me to the next part of my post which will be a bit tough to follow. Unless you're as well versed in time travel theory as I am :)

When the other guy, disguised as Locke, manages to get Jacob killed by way of Ben, he inadvertently de-linearizes (no, that's not a real word) the space time continuum. What I mean by this, is that the continuum is now open to change instead of everything having already happened. Notice how it's not until Jacob is killed that Juliet sets off the hydrogen bomb? Although the group of survivors 30 years in the past are 30 years in the past, once Jacob is killed the time line is open to change.

This allows Juliet to successfully set off the hydrogen bomb, which obviously shouldn't have gone off in the first place as the island would have become completely uninhabitable. This event negates everything that happened on the island and pretty much causes a hard reset of time. Think of it as a computer crashing, and resetting to a previous, safe state.

The other guy might have found a loophole, but in using it he destroyed it. Totally something God/Jacob would bank on :)

I believe this is all true because the super quick shot of the eye at the end is Juliet's. She's okay, and I'm going to assume everybody else is as well.

January just cannot come soon enough.

Song of the Century

Sing us a song of the century
That's louder than bombs
And eternity
The era of static and contraband
That's leading us into the promised land
Tell us a story that's by candlelight
Waging a war and losing the fight

They're playing the song of the century
Of panic and promise and prosperity
Tell me a story into that good night
Sing us a song for me

You don't mess around with Jim either

"Hey, thanks again for bringing me here Pops. I'm really happy that you think I'm ready for it."
"Ready? Son, you ain't never gonna be 'ready' for something like this. I'm gettin' you prepared."
"Yeah, sure Pops. Let's just get inside already."

"Say Pops, who's that over there?"
"Hmm? Oh, that's Bad Bad Leroy Brown. He's actually the baddest man in the whole damn town. Yeah, you don't wanna mess with him... he'll kill you."
"For messin' with him!?!?"
"Naw, naw... no, he'll just kill you. 'S'what he does... 's'like a hobby. Says it 'relieves stress'."
"You've talked to him?"
"Son, nobody talks to Leroy if they know what's best for'm."
"Hey there Jim."
"Hey Leroy."
"I thought you said-"
"I know what I said, Son. You need to brush up on your Croce."

Highly Inappropriate

"Kyle, sweety, could you come in here please? Your father and I have something important to talk to you about."
"Sure Mom, what is it?"
"Well, this is something your father and I have been talking about for a while now, and, well, we think you're old enough now for us to talk to you about it."
"It's not something bad is it?"
"Oh honey no, no it's nothing bad. It's just that, well, you see... you're-"YOU'RE ADOPTED! Haha, jinx! You owe me a coke Gloria! What?

Ah, Jinx. That beloved child's game where all you need to play is a quick mind, an even quicker mouth, and some foresight into what the other person is about to say. There are times however, when it's best to save this enjoyable diversion for a more appropriate time.

"Mr. Hayes, we've gotten back your test results, and..."
"Please, don't make me wait any longer. Just tell me."
"Well, the results are conclusive. You- "YOU HAVE CANCER! Jinx, you owe me a coke Dr. Lomez!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Ponier, but if you can't make the minimum payments we'll be forced to - "FORECLOSE ON MY HOUSE! Haha, jinx you owe me a... wow, that really sucks."
"Yes, it does."
"Hey shut up! You're still jinxed you jerk. And where's my coke!?"

So remember, Jinx is great for amusement during long car rides, casual banter with your close friends and even select casual work environments, but wanton use can have it's consequences.

Limited Time Offer

Attention all Mad, Evil and Environmental Scientists. Are you sick and tired of having to resort to using pre-recorded evil laughs when confronted with your arch nemesis?

Have you ever had to deal with the embarrassment of accidentally playing your Wham! mix-tape?

What about accidentally recording over that very same Wham! mix-tape?

From the mind that brought you the Build-by-Numbers Death Ray, 73 E-Z (yet incredibly convoluted, and at times counterintuitive) Steps to World Domination and Tickle Me Elmo, comes Maniaxital XD (maniacus giggline).

Hi, I'm Dr. Ebilstein (pronounced Ee-bil-steen), and I'm here today to tell you about my great new product, Maniaxital XD! Taken daily, it can provide you with a deep, ghostly, mirthless laugh to instill a sense of fear and dread in those within the immediate vicinity.

"But doctor, isn't Maniaxital XD just testosterone laced with LSD?"

Of course it is! We use nothing but the highest quality ingredients* (*this is a lie) in our products, and Maniaxital XD is no exception!

Order now and receive one of our infamous UN-inspirational posters* to put up in your lair/compound/hideout/secret base to rob your arch nemesis of all hope. (*bare tree branch with freshly made kitten claw marks, with text reading "You can't hold on forever", unfortunately no longer available)

I know that if you use my product, you will notice an incredible upswing in your ability to maniacally laugh uncontrollably.

Disclaimer: Side effects include death. There are probably others, but this is the only one we've encountered so far. Take at your own risk... which is pretty damn high.


I came up with this general idea at work tonight. Had a voice for it and everything. I'd like to record it and put it on here though :)