Which brings us to...

I'm listening to The Scientist by Coldplay right now. I believe it sums up my feelings perfectly. I have it set on my playlist right now. The lyrics are right here for those interested.

When KaTrina left I knew that we'd be going back to the phone being our main source of contact. It's not so bad but in the last few months, the house phones began to die after about an hour of usage. They'd start to beep a few seconds before they died letting you know to wrap up the conversation. Not with me.

Once the phone started to beep I'd snap to attention and scramble to get to the other phone before the one I was on died, much to the enjoyment of KaTrina who got to listen to me almost kill myself running down the stairs. Believe me, it was pretty funny when it happened.

But that, along with them being house phones and other people in the house wanting to use them, made it less than fulfilling to depend on them. So, after years of prodding by my family and friends (KaTrina especially, but didn't you kinda see that one coming? hehe), on the 4th of July I went and got a CELL PHONE!

So if you've been following along, I finally got around to buying a cell phone so I'd have an easier time staying in touch with KaTrina. She only has a cell phone so it was taking up a lot of minutes to talk to me as much as she was. KaTrina is with Sprint and since she was who I'd be talking to the most, I went with Sprint as well since it would be free for us to talk.

I've had it almost 2 months now and I'm really enjoying having it. I almost feel like I've kinda caught up with my generation to a degree. Almost. There was one thing bigger than getting an MP3 player, a job, or even a cell phone...

For years my family, Heidi being the most vocal out of ANY of them, and my friends, KaTrina the most vocal out of that category, have talked to me about going to college. It just never seemed right for me. I had a hard enough time graduating from high school. Not to mention the money it would cost and the time it would take for college. It was nice to talk and think about it, but I could never actually do it.

Late one night while KaTrina was here, her and I went to Denny's to hang out and get something to eat. The conversation managed to wend it's way to our futures. Now, I think it's safe to say on here that I'm in love with KaTrina. I can tell by your complete non-reaction that you already knew that so I'll make this quick. I'll do anything to be with her. Wow, that really was quick.

Anyway, we were on the subject of our future when she began to write something on a piece of paper. I sat quietly and waited for her to finish writing, not really sure what she was writing in the first place. About a minute later she ripped off the part she wrote on, folded it in two and passed it over to me. Opening it revealed a 'To-Do List' of sorts. It pretty much said, 'Get financial aid and go to school so you can do what you want.' I gladly took the list and put it in my wallet.

Remember how I said I'll do anything? That very night I went to the FAFSA website and applied for financial aid to go to college. Soon after I received all the information I needed to get ready to apply for, and eventually attend college at CBC. I took the placement test and turned in the paperwork necessary to get financial aid to pay for my schooling. I'd finally be going to college.

Yes, you read that right. Starting September 22nd I will be going to college at CBC. I've got my class schedule and next week I'll be going to FYI (First Year Information) to become acclimated to college life and learn the campus so I won't be lost when I start. My class schedule is as follows:

Monday - Thursday
Political Science 100 Bullert, G 8:00 - 9:00 AM
History 103 Moreno, M 9:10 - 10:10 AM
Psychology 101 Taff, M 12:40 - 1:40 PM

Not quite the schedule I had my sights set on originally, but I'm very excited for what I'm taking. Not to mention that I'm just excited to be going back to school.

So, this year has had it's highs and lows and it's been on the upswing since late April. While I feel that not everything is the way I'd like it to be, I'm at least on the right track.

It's a comin'

Part Three will be up soon. There's a lot going into it so I want it to be perfect.

Thank You For Your Patience
The Management

Happy

A week already? Ho-jeez... okay let's do this. (Does anybody else's spell check ding you on 'okay'?)

So by late April, I finally had a new job as a dishwasher and I was very happy. It required hard work and lacked any kind of contact with the public in general. Oh, getting access to money again was great too.

However, there was one thing I was looking forward to more than anything and I was a little worried that my new job might interfere with it. It almost kinda did, but after a mini emotional break down my old boss Mike gave me the time off I had requested. I felt kinda silly afterwards but with how the year had been going...

Simply put: KaTrina was coming to visit for a week, and nothing could keep me from spending as much time as possible with her! We agreed a while ago that since she'd be flying in, I would be her chauffeur so seeing her a lot wasn't going to be a problem. I wasn't much of a chauffeur though since she drove us nearly everywhere.

We did spend a lot of time together though. Nearly every available moment to us we were together. I was only expecting to see her the last four days she was here but we hung out every day! We went around to a lot of her favorite places around town like Shanghai, Aqua Tropics and Old Navy. Old Navy because she really enjoys picking out new clothes for me. I'm capable when it comes to dressing myself but KaTrina has a real fashion sense (thanks to Stacy and Clinton she says).

If we weren't around town we were at my or her house just hanging out. Now, my family loves KaTrina. My dad likes her too even though it's only until recently that she's accepted it. Me to KaTrina's family? Well, her younger sister Alyssa thinks I'm cool (the coolest Mormon at that) but I'm not exactly a household name over there, haha. So whenever I was over there I had to try and break out of my shy ways when around her father. I think I did an okay job but my dad has nothing on him.

There are seriously so many happy memories I have from that week that I don't think I could list all of them here. Well, I could, but I think it could possibly bore some of you after a while.

Saturday night I was taking her back to her house when she told me to drive past the road to her house. More than happy to oblige I kept going and after a couple minutes I realized we were going to Finley Elementary School: where we first met. After some reminiscing we were off again and made a few more stops to places that held memories we had together. After running out of those, we just drove around. All night actually.

We went to Walgreens to get something to drink, the mall to see it in the middle of the night, and to Clover Island Inn (where she used to work) to watch the sunrise. Around 4:30 or so, in the Clover Island Inn parking lot, we fell asleep in my car. Every ten minutes or so I'd wake up and be so happy to see that she was right there next to me.

The week she was here seemed to last so much longer than most other weeks seem to. When it was finally time for her to go I wasn't sad like I thought I would be. I wasn't thrilled that she was going so soon, but the time we spent together made me the happiest I'd been in a long time. So it kind of insulated me from feeling sad. Before I went to sleep that night I found a note that she had left me. I started to tear up as I read it over and over again but after about the 20th time, the tears went away and were replaced with a smile. I didn't think I'd ever cherish a piece of paper so much.

What was it? We both know what it says. That's enough.

One thing is certain, whenever I see her, I'm the happiest man in the world.

...hehe, old man.

Part three to come.

Subject to change

2008 has been a pretty big year for me. It started off the same way most of them have lately: I was single, working at a job I really didn't like and with a deepseated sense that I'd let another year slip by without doing all that I could have with it.

I would never have guessed what was coming.

It started in January when I got my Zune. I know I know, not really something you'd consider noteworthy but it mattered. For over eight years I had the same CD player and that was how I listened to my music when not in my car. When I worked at Best Buy back in '04, one of the employees harshly chastised me (he called me a f---ing idiot actually) for not having an MP3 player yet. Thinking back I'm glad that I hadn't made the investment. I think the biggest storage available back then was around 16 GB and it cost like $300-400 for one that size.

Why would I need one anyway. I'd gotten by just fine with my CD player since high school and was it really that much of a hassle to switch out a CD when I needed to? Well, eventually my beloved player started to malfunction. It wouldn't start playing unless on a completely flat surface and even then it wouldn't play certain CD's. The list of those 'certain CD's' began to grow and I knew it was time. So I bought a first generation 30GB Zune for $125 (with the help of a few discounts).

Now I can't imagine having to deal with CD's whenever I want to listen to my music. I accept this ritual when I'm driving simply for the fact that it's tradition more than anything.

I was also fired from my job at Amazon for missing too many days and while it was devastating, I'd become so terrified of going to work that I was actually relieved to some degree. I usually managed to find a new job within a month anyway so I'd be fine.

Now it's become a sort of tradition to spend a couple days at my sister Heidi's house in Spokane for my birthday. Since I would probably have a job by the time my birthday rolled around it was decided that I'd come up early. It was a lot of fun while I was there but the trip back... not so much.

Thinking I'd missed my exit back home I got myself turned around at the nearest overpass. Now it had been snowing a whole hell of a lot up there and the roads weren't in the best condition. The car in front of me was driving erratically so once I got the chance I tried to get around him. After a few seconds of driving I felt my car going to the left. Y'know, where the divide was? The jerk I was trying to pass was keeping pace with me so I couldn't really pull myself out of the slush dragging me off of the road.

Which is exactly what happened all too fast but in such a mind bogglingly slow motion.

There I was, middle of nowhere with my car stuck in at last two and half feet of compacted snow. It was a couple hours until the sun went down so I found my windshield scraper and began to dig myself out. I'd have made it too if it weren't for the meddling state patrolman a caring citizen called. Frustratingly long (and freezingly soggy by that point) story short: I got a $175 ticket for going too fast for conditions. I tried explaining that the only reason I was even going 50 mph was to pass a potentially dangerous driver.

I was so crushed by that point. Alone, unemployed, car potentially wrecked, and now a ticket I couldn't pay. Sitting in the patrol car cold and wet I was so tempted to open the door and walk into traffic.

'She would never forgive you. You know that right?'
"i know..."
'Just keep your hands on the ticket. You don't want to drop it.'
"okay..."
'It'll get better. You'll see.'
"'k..."

I don't think I've told anybody about that or the conversation I had with myself. It all happened, but it's all in the past and I'm glad I listened to myself.

I wasn't out of the woods quite yet. A couple months later, under the pressure of still not having a job and other things, I 'locked' myself in my room. What started out as just wanting to be alone for a few hours turned into almost 2 days of complete isolation. I shouldn't joke about it as I really did scare my family, but can't a guy get some frikkin' privacy?

After that everything began to turn around for the better. I went up to Spokane again to help my sister with some painting around the house and when I got back I found that my current employer had been trying to get a hold of me. I interviewed to be a night janitor at first but passed. Then I was interviewed to be a dishwasher. Happy for a job that didn't include the public, and was something I already did in the first place, I nailed the interview and was happily employed once again.

I'm gonna go ahead and pause here for a while. I wasn't expecting to include all that sad stuff in there but it was all a big part of the year for me. But don't worry, there will be a part two and the part two will be much happier. You'll see.

That's enough of that

Sorry to keep something that could potentially be seen as depressing up for almost a week. It's not that there hasn't been anything to post about (there is! and we'll get to that in a second), it's just that I haven't been able to scrounge up the motivation to get one posted. So, as not to go a week without a new post, let's get down to it.

Last Saturday was really exciting for me. There was an open house to sign up for free classes to become a Radiological Control Technician. The sheer opportunity I would be afforded if I completed those classes and became an RCT was incredible. It seemed like my life could finally start! So I woke up early, printed out the directions and got to the open house to find that I needed to put down $500 right then, and pay another $3,000 for the classes in $1,000 monthly installments.

You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly sir. Bravo.

That's pretty much what inspired the poem. So many times I've gotten really excited about something in my life only to have it fall apart at the last second. Like I said in the poem; I always get back up and I just keep going.

So while that door had been slammed in my face, I looked over and saw a window cracked open slightly.

That same day, my boss asked me if I wanted to make some extra cash by taking pictures of homes for his mom's real estate business. Money? Greeny spendy money? Naturally, I agreed and on Monday I went to meet with her to find out more about what I'd be doing.

Basically, I need to take six kinds of pictures of each house I'm sent to; the front, both sides, house number, street sign and a 'street scene' (basically a picture of the street with a smidge of the house included). I receive the addresses of the homes I need to photograph by e-mail and after I've taken the photos I e-mail them back. I get paid per house and I get extra for houses outside the Tri-Cities (Benton City, Burbank, West Richland, etc.) Every so often I'll take interior pictures or even put up signs on the property. I get paid even more for doing those.

So while it isn't exactly up to par with being an RCT, you never know where something like this could lead.

As a funny aside, I managed to hurt myself with a dried out shard of cheese (the kind from a cheese shredder) tonight at work. It was stuck to a plate and even after attacking it with the sprayer, scrubber and even steel wool, it showed no signs of relenting. So I decided to do it the old fashioned way and scrape it off with my thumbnail... hmm, the little piece of cheese seems to have made it's way under my thumbnail... all the way under my thumbnail... ow.

I'm sure that's how my subconscious processed what had happened, but my conscious self was vocal to the point that everybody else in the kitchen thought I'd cut myself deep or something of mine off.

"Kelly, what happened?"
"I cut myself with a piece of cheese!"

I immediately went over to where we kept the steak knives and picked one that had a pointy edge and got to digging out the cheese. To put it in perspective, it was about a quarter of an inch long and it was all the way in there. I got it out after about a minute of semi-painful thumbnail digging and went back to work with a new story to tell. I also ran off a joke/pun a couple minutes afterwards.

"Y'know what would have made this really funny? If it was sharp cheddar and not just medium."

I give thanks to my Mom for keeping a cool and logical head whenever any of her kids got hurt. Because of her I'm able to stay calm whenever I get hurt. Thankfully, I haven't had many opportunities to stay calm.

Well, there ya go. Hopefully I'll get some actual comments now. Honestly, my average has plummeted!

Therapeutic

I've always been resilient.

I tend to take things pretty hard
I've always come out stronger
I can feel the years of it wearing on me
I'm feeling the cracks in my armor...

The words I have heard
Have strengthened me
Allowed me to go that much farther
But the words from myself
They sabotage me
They want me to crash that much harder

The people I know
They care about me
Propping me up when I've fallen
I look at my feet
They're ignoring me
They prefer to be deaf when I'm calling

I know I should move
I know I can't sit here
I know that the world isn't waiting
I scream at myself
You know what you want
So why do you stand there debating?

You're better than that!
You know that you are!
Get moving! You still have some time...

It's not easy when you are your own harshest critic
To tear yourself down in the space of a minute

To be happy and smile, to pause and then say
"Why are you laughing? What's with you today?"

You don't get to be happy, you deserve to be sad
And here are some reasons you should prob'ly be mad...

Like I said I'm resilient
I always pull through
Though a little bit worse for the wear
I'm so lucky to have you
You're there when I need you
What helps me the most is knowing you care

That means all of you!

Don't worry, I feel better now :)