New Year's, how do I celebrate thee, let me count the ways...

There are none actually.

I've always taken a bit of pride in the fact that I don't ever really celebrate the new year. Maybe it's because more bad than good has happened on New Year's for me. I wouldn't be surprised if something big happens tonight I'll be less than thrilled about, but I've got about two hours or so of my time zone left to find out.

As for why I don't celebrate the holiday; I've just never seen the need.

Ever since I was 11 or 12 I've thought of New Year's as a somewhat pathetic excuse to absolve oneself of whatever mediocrities or inefficiencies they thought made them less of a person than they wanted to be since the last time January 1st came around. Y'know, because this time they're really going to change.

See? This whole cynicism thing isn't new :P

Another thing that bugs me are the parties. Not the fun little family parties where the adults are only staying up past midnight for traditions sake and go home and go to sleep before the first hour of the new year is even past. No, I'm talking about the 'Hey, let's all get drunk off our asses and then because we're drunk, be asses!' parties.

Y'know, the kind that vapid assholes usually throw and go to.

So while I'm apathetic to the whole New Year's thing, I'm always happy when the new year just gets here so everyone (i.e. the media) can shut up about it.

And for those of you considering making any reference to 1992; you will have your comment deleted if you do.

Happy New Year!

Excerpt, snippet, preview; whatever you want to call it

Friggat - by Kelly Sorenson

“Plenty of people would consider being born on Friday the 13th somewhat unlucky. More people than that like to point out to me that it’s considered unlucky. Out of all those people however, very few would believe in all the good luck I had because of my birthday.”

“Right up until my third heart attack.”

Chapter One

Thomas R. Martin set his alarm for 6 A.M., so it was a surprise to him when he woke up to see it flashing 6:34. Normally the alarm clock’s digits would flash in time with the loud beeping meant to wake him, but there it was; technically half-assing it’s job in silent, unaware bliss. Thomas switched off the alarm, and immediately his bedroom reverberated with an intensified version of the beeping he expected to hear about 35 minutes earlier. When he couldn’t unplug it, he began yanking on the power cord frantically.

“Thomas? Why is that so loud?” His wife turned over just in time to be attacked by the power cord of the alarm clock.
“Oh crap! Honey I’m sorry. I couldn’t turn off the alarm so I tried to unplug it and, well you know… I’m sorry.” His wife smiled, giggling ever so audibly.
“Happy Birthday Thomas.”

Thomas believed his alarm clock’s behavior to be the result of a power surge, but when no other appliance seemed defective in any way he started to wonder. Either way, the powerful aroma of freshly ground coffee stayed his wandering mind, removing whatever sleep was left after such an exciting morning. Nothing else exciting would happen today, but exciting things were in development.

Before we get into that, we need to do a little digging into his past. Thomas was indeed born on Friday the 13th, April 1951 and every subsequent birthday on a Friday brought him tremendous luck:

On his fifth birthday an invitation was mistakenly mailed to a little girl that would someday be his wife.

On his 11th birthday while riding his bike he noticed a flash of silver on the ground and stopped to examine it. Seconds later a car screamed past where he would have been had he not stopped.

His 22nd birthday brought him an interview with a major accounting firm. Exhibiting such confidence from knowing what day it was, he aced the interview getting the job no problem.

When he turned 28 a wrong turn during a drive with his wife brought them to their dream house whose price had just dropped for lack of a buyer.

At 33 he was looking to add-on to his house when he won big on a scratch ticket making it possible.

His 39th birthday didn’t yield such results. After a routine day at work, Thomas lied in bed still expecting a burst of good luck to happen upon him. His wife wasn’t even wearing anything special to bed. He felt jilted now that he thought about it. Why should this birthday be any different when others with the same circumstances were amazing? Beyond extraordinary. He felt now was the time to say something.

“Julie?”
“What is it Thomas?”
“You remember the day we met right?”
“Well of course, it was your fifth birthday party.”
“When we found this house?”
“Yes, that was your 28th. Honey why are you-“
“And when I won the lottery I turned 33.”
“I know sweetie, I was there. Is this about your superstitions again?” Thomas smiled and rolled his eyes. He didn’t mind being called superstitious because he knew better. He knew the truth.
“It saved my life and got me the job I love. You can’t just put a stamp of simple coincidence on any of them. We’ve been over this.”
“Thomas I know we have.” Julie loved teasing her husband, but she knew this subject was off limits. “But you can’t expect it to continue. Luck always runs out.”
“This is beyond luck Julie.” Looking at his wife, Thomas saw how beautiful she was and felt reassured that his luck was still fully intact. “Don’t worry though, let’s just get some sleep.”

They smiled at each other as they turned over in bed, reaching to click off their respective bedside lamps. Thomas leaned over the side to set his alarm clock when a blunt force struck him in the chest.

“Thirteen.” His brow furrowed.
“What? Thomas, what is it?”
“6:34 equals thirteen.”
“What does that mean?”
“Never mind, it’s nothing. G’night.” He turned over and soon fell asleep.

As if that wasn't enough

I got a text from my friend yesterday telling me that my History grade was finally turned in and the impact it had on my cumulative GPA. I knew that I would get a good grade in the class based on the strength of the papers I turned in, but I was little worried about how my mid-term and final would affect it.

Like the papers before, I waited too long to finally start on my mid-term and I think the most appropriate word for the quality of it would be rushed. With my final, I started on it the day I got it but it was twice as big as the mid-term and due in half the time. I should also mention these were the only times I ever opened my textbook for that class.

So I believe it's safe to say that I was a little surprised when I was told I'd gotten a 3.8 in that class and it raised my cumulative GPA to 3.53!

Do you know what that means?!

I'M AN 'A' STUDENT!!!

Disclaimers be damned, I'd like to know what I've done with the real me!

With any luck, I might be getting my car back today too. Saturday night before last I hit a patch of ice in the roundabout near my house and ran my car into the curb (I didn't jump it as I wasn't going fast enough. I was barely going 10 MPH). My front right wheel got smushed into the back of the wheel well. It wasn't my fault even though everybody seems to think it was.

But hey, who cares right? I'm getting good grades! I'm going to keep it that way too.

Ahem...

May I have your attention please?

Grades for CBC are given to students on the 18th, but I have an in at CBC so I got my grades earlier. Like five minutes ago earlier :) I'm very happy with what I've got though I still haven't gotten my History grade yet. I'm willing to bet it'll easily clear the 3.0 mark.

Like the 3.7 that I got in my Psychology class! That's an A people! I think the last time I got an A in anything was either Band in 6th grade (honestly, it takes a lot to get anything worse in Band) or any gym class I had.

Not as impressive when compared to my Psych grade, I got a 3.1 in my Political Science class. That's a B right? Somewhere in the vicinity at least? Still, it's something I never thought I would see when it comes to academics.

Like I said though, my History grades have yet to be turned in so I don't know what my average will turn out to be. I'm going to push my luck and venture a guess that my average will turn out to be around 3.5 or maybe even 3.6. After all, my History teacher really liked me and he said that influences the grades he gives. Couple that with the fact that I was already getting a good grade in that class and, well... duh?

Still, it's great, awesome, fantastic, unbelievable, "Why you couldn't have done this in high school I'll never know." to know that I did it, and I did it well.

The funny thing is, the classes I'm taking next quarter are where my strengths lie. Namely English 101 and Literature 275, aka the Lord of the Rings class. So I see no reason my average shouldn't increase :D

I'm also taking Biological Anthropology but I'm really excited for that class and that's a really big factor for me. I can't wait to go back to school!

Disclaimer: The Kelly Michael Sorenson who wrote this blog is, has been, and always will be the same Kelly Michael Sorenson you have always known, seen and/or spoken to. Any reports or rumors involving alien abduction/alteration/replacement, positive effects stemming from head trauma, or general bait and switch tactics are patently untrue and should be regarded as such.

Thank You.

Something we have in common

This isn't so much a post as it is a knee jerk reaction that I think the people who read my blog should see.

So without further ado (aside from that sentence(and that line in parentheses(and that one (and that one

14 HOURS LATER

anyway

President Elect, Barack Obama, owns a Zune!

Take THAT you elitist bastards with your stupid iPod's and iPhones that can't call anybody (iPod Touch), the most powerful man in the free world is smart enough to choose the superior product!

I bet you're sorry you elected him now aren't you! :P

Cats and dogs, living together, MASS HYSTERIA!

If you do not recognize that quote... I weep for our children.



Oh yeah. You know I'm getting this the second it comes out. Those are all the real voices too! Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and yes, even Ernie Hudson. It's even written by Aykroyd and Ramis too. I can't wait!

Expect a substantial blog entry soon. All these videos and scatter shot posts haven't been scratching the itch I've got.

Umm, now what do we do?

I'm sitting here in my Political Science class and class started three minutes ago. Now hold on, let me explain why instead of listening to the exciting lecture about Presidential powers, I'm blogging about it. Well, to be precise, I'm blogging about the fact that the lecture is not happening at the moment.

The teacher isn't here.

I remember all through school there was a rumor that in college, if your professor didn't show up for 15 minutes, you could leave! Well, we've got another nine minutes to find out if it's true or not.

I know it's not, but it would be funny to have first hand proof of the validity of this rumor.

It's not going to happen though. Apparently the professor is just trying to get everything rounded up in his office before he comes into class. He'll probably show up any second now so I'm going to...

Okay, new development!

Some lady just popped her head in and said that if he wasn't here by 8:30 (half past?! didn't that lady know about the 15 minute rumor?!?!) we could all leave. After some mild disapproval from the class she concluded by saying she'd check back in if something else came up.

What else could come up? Either he shows up or he doesn't. Unless she has an RSS feed on him I don't see the point.

"He's still not here." she said calmly to the class.
"Yeah. We noticed." replied a smart mouthed upstart student from behind his laptop as he blogged.

No I don't think I'd do that. Then again I might not be the only student blogging about the lack of a professor right now. A quick scan of the room reveals this to be untrue so I might have to step up to the plate in regards to being a wiseass.

Two minutes to go now. Until the 15 minutes, not the half hour. One minute now. No, it didn't take me a minute to type those two quick sentences-

CLASS IS CANCELLED!!! Doesn't help me though because I've got the class after this. I'm just going to find an outlet and plug my computer in and keep surfing the internet.

Thanks for reading :)