For the last month or so I've just had this depression creeping up on me. It started when it began to get colder at night essentially signaling the end of Summer. I didn't do nearly as much as I had wanted to because I was too worried about wasting my time. It was my Summer vacation! I was supposed to be playing my backlog of video games, watching my backlog of anime and writing every spare minute I had. That didn't happen.
I had a great time on my vacation to Missouri, but I'm kicking myself for not having brought a camera with me. The memories are still fresh and I don't think they'll ever really fade away. Still, it's always nice to look at pictures.
I thought that getting the money for going to college would cheer me up. When that didn't really work I thought for sure that my classes would be engaging and really exciting. They are, but I'm so worried that I won't do well in them that it's sucking out any joy I have for them.
It's really annoying.
I'm also just very lonely. I don't have anybody to really hang out with besides at work. A girlfriend seems to be either impossible or entirely out of the question. I don't know how many times I've heard how great a guy I am and how any girl would be lucky to have me.
Back on topic.
Yeah, I'm just getting really sick of taking a step forward only to find it hasn't gotten me any farther ahead. I'm under the impression that if I had a girlfriend then the pieces I've gathered would suddenly find their places. Maybe if I could get a list of references together of all the girls who've told me how great I am... yeah, no.
I'm not happy. I want to do something about it but everything I've tried lately has failed. Is a victory too much to ask for?
5 comments:
In times like this, one must turn to the sage wisdom of the Fresh Prince, who did thusly quote many, many seasons ago, "Listen Homeboy, don't mean to bust your bubble, but Girls of the World ain't NOTHIN' BUT TROUBLE!"
You're Welcome.
Sorry you are having a hard time. What my experience has taught me is this. The "right" person may be there all along but if you aren't ready it doesn't matter. Stay in school keep improving yourself and that lucky lady will surface when you are ready for her. You ARE a great guy. and umm.... with Mike and the Fresh Prince giving advice how can you go wrong?
You did read my tunnel piece didn't you? Well, that whole thing applies to you too.
You won't be lonely to much longer. We are moving over there you know.
Say your prayers and ask Heavenly Father to help you feel better. Then you need to have the faith that he will. Then you need to soldier on with school and do the things that make you happy. Good things. Bad things will just make you more depressed.
p.s. My stomach hurts from laughing at those owl pictures. Jeff says the owl looks like he'd have the voice of Ricardo Montalban. (deep rumble growing to a high) Reeeeaaaaly?
Kelly, I really don't have any answers that Mike, Cindy and Heidi haven't already touched on. I know you haven't been happy lately and I wish I could just make it all go away. I also really really wish that you could find a real girlfriend. I know that she's out there. Just don't lose sight of the fact that you are intelligent, sensitive, original, creative and fun. Not to mention very good looking.
(nff nff uuh, my mom,nff nff, she says i'm good looking, nff nff) (said in a winey nasally nerdy voice) I love you and I KNOW that one day your life will be a rewarding one.
If you need a friend, we're sailing right behind.
Kelly you know you are good at school enjoy it you made honor roll last time now that should tell you right there! You need to meet the wild things they are made for you!!!
-The door next to the bathroom
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