A political message

Bloated, runaway military spending.

Constant denial of rumors of a 'Death Star.'

Continued proliferation of the Rebel Alliance.

This is the legacy left behind by Grand Moff Tarkin. General Zevulon Veers looks to continue this trend of shady deals and back room politics.

Admiral Firmus Piett has worked to fight against the kind of corruption Veers has brought upon the Empire. Piett is a veteran of the Battle of Hoth, and grew up in the Outer Rim, which is more than can be said of Veers.

Don't let the rule of Grand Moff Tarkin continue. He's dead, and zombies make terrible leaders.

A speech about me?

Surely the title jests? Nope.

School has started back up and I already have an assignment for one of my classes. The one I'm going to share is from my speech class. We had to write a two minute maximum speech to read in front of the class, and this is mine. I timed it to 1:25 in an uninterrupted somewhat speedy recital, so I should fit neatly within that two minute marker.

And just so we're clear, the :rimshot: denotes an actual rimshot that I will be playing at that point in my speech. Oh yeah, I'm going all out.


When some of you look at me, I’m sure that what you may see is a shiftless guy in his early 20’s, coasting through life and is only in this class because it’s a pre-req for the AA he wants. Well, you’d be wrong. I’m in my late 20’s. :rimshot:

I’m not any of those other things either, but the joke wouldn’t work otherwise.

I’m 28, I like to read, watch TV, and write. I even came in first place in the poetry division for LitFest back in May. I play video games but not nearly as much as I used to, and I play guitar. I also like to watch anime and read manga. Not the kind some of you may be thinking of, just so we’re clear. That’s not really important, but it’s important to me.

I work at Red Lion in Kennewick as a dish washer, and though I hate my job sometimes, it has taught me some valuable lessons. One of those lessons I even thought up myself; everything is a mess, it’s just a matter of how organized it is. If you saw the place after I’ve been gone a couple days then you’d know what I mean.

Okay seriously though, I don’t like to take much seriously. I’m perfectly capable of doing so, but I feel that if humor can legitimately be found in a serious situation then it shouldn’t be ignored. It shouldn’t be unceremoniously trotted about either, but if you’ve been through enough crap in your life you’ll eventually learn the correct timing for such a thing. And a well placed rimshot, literal or otherwise, doesn’t hurt.


I like what I've got there, so all that's left now is to let my natural showmanship shine through and deliver one hell of a performance. It should be great!

note: If I should bomb, let's all pretend this never happened.

Wrong numbers are funny things

I have to warn those of you who are averse to swearing and practically non-existent grammar because the following blog post contains both, and will not be edited. I've got to preserve this for posterity after all.

When I was at work today I received a phone call from an unknown number. I answered just to be sure it wasn't somebody I knew, and it wasn't. The caller asked for 'B', and I informed her she had the wrong phone number. When I didn't hear a response I hung up. I thought nothing more of it and went back to cleaning.

Not wanting to listen to the radio anymore, I used a small set of speakers we have at work and hooked them up to my iPhone to listen to Pandora (I'll need to do a separate post about that bit of nonsense). About 20 minutes in, the song that was on started to skip. I chalked it up to the wifi acting up, but when I went to look at the artist currently playing, I saw the following:

Unknown number: So now ur fuckin that ugly fat bitch... Fuck u Brian, ur a bitch in my eyes now. Live ur life without me now, forget u ever even knew me Brian... I hope ur happy now, and getting whatever the fuck i didnt give u. I dislike u so much and wish i would have never even knew u. U have broken me so bad, and i hope ur happy for that u mutherfucker.

Now, I can only assume this young lady is upset. About what exactly, I don't know, but it obviously has something to do with Brian. Maybe even the previously mentioned 'B'. Possibly. I replied of course:

Me: Uh, this isn't Brian. Sorry he made you so mad, but you might want to get the number right next time.

I had a feeling this wouldn't be enough to persuade her I wasn't the Brian she was looking for, or to stop texting me. I was correct.

Upset girl: Oh i got the number right bitch... I know u guys are fuckin, he puts it out there that this is his phone too... I know u'll relay this to him sence guys are together now. I hope he brakes u the way he has done me everyone of his other gurls. I hope u guys have a good life of hell together.

Well now, whatever this Brian hath wrought upon this poor girl must have been a real doozy. I didn't want her to continue to waste her energy on somebody that didn't deserve it however, so I called the number and left a nice message that went something like this, though it's not verbatim.

Me again: Hey, this is the guy who's number you keep texting. Like I said before, I'm not Brian and I don't know who he is. I'm sorry that he's given you so much grief. But hey, life can be like that sometimes and you really shouldn't let it get you down. Please though, stop texting me. I mean, I've got a pretty high limit anyway, but like I said, I'm not Brian. Laters.

Just to be absolutely sure, I took the following picture and texted that to her.



















The phone call and the picture seemed to be enough, because I got another text a few minutes later.

Calmer girl: Ok, Im Wrong... I Got The Numbers Mixed Up. Im So Sorry and Am So Embarrassed. Please Forgive Me About All This? It Wont Happen Again... Sorry

Apparently she was sorry enough to capitalize all but one of the words. It was an honest mistake, and I replied as such.

Me: It's okay. I hope you get the bastard good if he is cheating on you though. Have a nice day :)

Her: U too! Sorry about that once again.

Obviously I won't share the number, but I also won't share the name of the poor girl who felt the need to so vocally (textually?) lash out at whoever this asshole Brian is, or 'B' as his friends and loved ones like to call him. If only all wrong numbers could be this hilarious.

Jobs past come to haunt me...

If you've worked retail, I feel it's only right that I warn you the following blog may dredge up long buried memories of idiots gnawing away at your sanity and IQ points with their never ending need of stuff.

My first retail job was at Best Buy, but I didn't really have any problems there. Hastings is where the real problems with working retail started to crop up, and to this day I still remember some of the more... fascinating idiots and instances.

The more readily remembered problems come from when I had to work in the book section of the store. Now, I love books. I don't read them as much as I should, but a lot of people don't either apparently. Despite this, they seem to have passing knowledge of books that may or may not have existed. It was common for somebody to ask for a book, but give only the barest of details:

"Do you have a book?" (I don't know, do we?) "It has a dog in it, but I think the dog dies... maybe not. But the family is really sad because of something with the dog... but it might have been a cat. So can you tell me where it is?"

I enjoy being helpful, I really do, but when I'm given an impossible task and then a dirty look/comment when I can't deliver (through no fault of my own), I want to get off the ride. There were a couple times when I had to work books that I would take off my name tag, sit down in a chair and read a book. At least I was lucky to be trusted enough to not be checked up on.

Yet as bad as the book section could be, it doesn't hold a candle to working the register. After all, not everybody will go over to books, but they all will go to the register if they're buying something. I have plenty of stories to tell about stupid customers berating me for asking to check their ID when they pay with their debit card, or getting angry when I wouldn't help them cheat the buy two get one free system.

No. They pale in comparison to the contingent promotions we had to suffer through. Y'know, the "If this doesn't happen, the customer gets this" kind of thing. The Hastings version was if the worker at the register didn't ask the customer if they wanted to buy a Snickers, they would get one for free. The promotion details were in plain sight at the register so it was hard to miss, and when something free is on the line it doesn't get missed.

Conceptually, it's easy to remember to ask a customer if they'd like to buy a Snickers, but it doesn't hold up in practice. Especially after five hours of it. It would be so damn frustrating to not miss a beat for hours, only to forget to ask an obnoxious jerk who rubs it in your face. For instance, a soccer mom who poked me in the chest and laughed, calling me incompetent as she did so. Is it any wonder that I can come off as bitter? There were so many times I wished I could fire back at them, like so:

"Look, I'm exhausted. I've been at this for about seven hours now, and I'm here another two. So you have essentially outsmarted a practically non-responsive lump of clay. Good job. Here's your #$@&ing Snickers." And then I throw it at them. Or better yet, smash the Snickers and drop it in their bag. The promotion says nothing of the condition their candy will be in after all.

There were a few shining spots where I was able to reverse my mistake. A teenage girl got all snotty and excited when I forgot to ask the question, to which I replied. "Well, I actually have until the transaction is over, and it's not. So would you like to buy a Snickers?" I'd never seen a smile wither into a frown that fast before or since. It made my day.

What I've written here is just the tip of an iceberg that extends far into the frigid depths of the hell known as unrewarding customer service in a retail environment. For all the crap I put up with, I had friends there and they helped to make it pretty enjoyable. Maybe I'll talk about them some time for a happy blog post.

Inception

Makes me want to be the best writer I can be.

I'll put more here when I get around to it.

You and Your Waylon Jennings: Live!

Below is a video of me reciting my winning poem at the LitFest awards ceremony. Either because mine was the shortest of all the winning entries, or because none of the other poetry winners wanted to, I was the only one to read that night. I wanted to say a lot more, but I didn't really know how much time I had up there. So naturally, I said the one thing that I felt mattered the most: I wrote it for a friend, and not to win.




It still amazes me that I won, and it's renewed my sense of confidence that I can be successful as a writer. I hope to do a lot of writing for my summer vacation, and I plan on submitting my stuff to different publications as well. Though I am planning to keep my expectations realistic, I think I have a pretty good chance of getting something published.

If you give a mouse a cookie...

...it’s going to want a glass of milk. If you give it a glass of milk, it’s going to ask for a straw. If you give it a straw, it’s going to be much too big, and that little mouse will surely asphyxiate on the sharp red plastic instrument of death you gave it to drink the milk to wash down the cookie you gave it.

Soon enough the mouse’s family will learn about what transpired and they will file a wrongful death lawsuit. Because the mouse you so heartlessly killed has such a huge family, they have many connections and hire some of the best attorneys they can get. The initial legal proceedings will seem to drag on forever, and no matter how you beg and plead, the judge will refuse to throw out the case simply because “they’re mice!”

When the trial proper finally does start, it will not only be a major financial drain, but it will be an emotional one as well. The long nights staying up with your defense attorneys (who are frankly no match for the legal team representing the deceased mouse’s family) makes your wife feel neglected even though you’ve explained to her time and again that this is all necessary if she doesn’t want her husband going to prison for killing a mouse.

A few months into the trial however, you and your wife have decided on a trial separation (y’know, just to give each other some space (which you already had because of the lawsuit)). With the added stress of your wife having left you, the trial begins to eat away at your sanity.

Every day you have to fight to ignore all of the furious squeaking coming from all of the mice in the gallery, all there with the hope that you be found guilty. When it finally comes time for you to take the stand, you can’t believe what you are seeing: mice damn near everywhere, and all of them hate you (except for maybe Terrence, because he’s always had it in for Steve (the mouse you killed) but he has to act like he’s angry so he doesn’t arouse the suspicion of his family).

Just as you are about to snap under all of the pressure and sheer lunacy of what has consumed your life over the past 11 months, Steve (the mouse you apparently didn’t kill) storms into the courtroom and demands they set you free, as all along it was Terrence that tried to kill him. Terrence denies it, but he is arrested on the spot and you are allowed to go free.

Months pass.

Your wife has come back, and things are essentially back to normal. Unfortunately, Terrence has escaped from prison, and you are first on his list of things to do… IN!

By giving animals rights, this kind of situation is to be expected. So, given all of this information, would you still give a mouse a cookie?


I wrote all of this for my Intro to Ethics class. We have readings assigned every day and we have to write at least a page about what we read. The page is called a ticket, and if I don't have a ticket I can't be in class that day. This particular reading was about how silly it was to give animals rights. So I decided to be funny with it.

Also, at the end of every ticket we have to ask a question that pertains to the reading, which is why it's there at the end there.

Being fiscally (ir)responsible

For years, about 10 or so, the family television has served us well. It's a great television with a fairly decent sized screen and nice picture. A couple months ago however, it started to malfunction. The top of the screen began folding over on top of itself. Think of the TV screen as a slinky. When it's compressed, the picture is fine and whole. If you take the topmost coils and fold it in front of it, they'll be spaced apart and showing whatever is on that part of the screen. Not only that, it was getting worse.

The original plan was to move my parents TV upstairs when they got a new one, or the problem with the old one became too much and they'd have to replace it. But I was given permission to buy a new one altogether. Me? Buy a television? Of course I've fantasized about owning such an electronic staple, but I never actually have. Since I was given the go ahead... well, let me explain that I don't pay rent in money, but in work. I really can't afford rent, so it would be a slap in the face to drop money I don't have on something I don't need (see how the 'don't need' wasn't italicized?). But, anyway.

I was given the go ahead to buy a TV so I started researching, and I decided that the TV I wanted would be 37"-40", 1080p and a Sony, LG or Sharp. Next was deciding where, but that was taken care of Monday night when I saw two options at Costco. One was a Philips 47" 1080p 60Mhz LCD, and the other a Sony 40" 1080p 120Mhz LCD and both were the same price. The Philips was bigger, but the Sony had double the refresh rate and looked bigger. I called my uncle Mike for advice and he asked about the refresh rate. I forgot the refresh rate for the Sony and assumed it too was 60, so I'm glad the call got me to take a close look at both. The Sony has a much clearer, less pixelized picture, so that's what I went with.

So, I present the unboxing pictures I took of my awesome new TV. One that I plan on having for a very, very long time, because I don't like dropping huge amounts of money on any one thing. By the way, the pictures were taken using my cell, and I have no idea how to properly arrange pictures on here.

ps. Love the TV, but I hate the way Blogger handles pictures.

There are so many people to thank...

Well, not really. But the ones that do deserve thanks deserve big chunks of the stuff. If you're not a friend of mine on Facebook, or one of the people I called while all giddy with excitement (I can get giddy, why not?), I have won the writing competition of the Mid-Columbia Literary Festival. I'm under the impression that I've won the grand prize, which also includes first place in my category and division.

I submitted a work of fiction, and a poem, and the poem is what won. My story didn't win anything, but that's not too surprising as there's a lot left to be done with it. It'll be a book someday, but only because that's what it wants to be. Anyway, my poem. I'll put it at the end of the post, so if you want to skip past all this to read it you can. I won't be offended.

The poem itself was inspired by a girl I work with. She actually showed interest in what I wrote, and liked all of it. I told her I was going to write a poem about her, and it was going to be called You and Your Waylon Jennings. It didn't quite turn out the way I had expected, but I really liked what I had. She really liked it too, and that's really all that mattered.

Then it came time to turn in my journal for creative writing last quarter. I needed 32 journal entries, four poems at least 14 lines long, and a story at least 6 pages long. I had the entries, story, and three poems, and so I decided to toss in that one as well. When I got my journal back, the poem had a simple "Love this" written on it in red ink. I knew I'd be turning something in for the competition, so I figured why not this poem.

I turned it in on April 16, and up until a couple days ago, I thought it had a chance to win. Then I looked over the rules and saw I'd get a call or letter in late April. It having just turned May, I shrugged my shoulders and gave a sigh of "Oh, well. At least I tried." It was until I got home from school today when my mom asked if I'd heard the "great news." Being all dreary I told her I didn't know of any great news.

When she told me I just about lost it. I couldn't believe that I had won. I thought at first I'd just gotten first place in my division, but she's almost positive I won the grand prize. I'm trying my best to stay level headed, but it's just not working. I'm stopping into the coordinator's office tomorrow to verify, but with how excited she was on the phone I think I got the grand prize. She even wants me to read it in front of the audience, which I'll be more than happy to do. I'll be leaving work early to go do it, and I'm secretly hoping I'll get to say a few words too.

I'm just really happy that I won, and I'm hoping somebody :cough:Lisa:cough: will be able to record it all. I want the people I want to thank get to hear/see it :) So, without further ado, my poem...

You and Your Waylon Jennings

You and your Waylon Jennings,
crooning from your Toyota
factory standard speakers.
Is that how you hear him?
Or are you there,
inside the studio?
The crumbling black
of the padded walls
for better acoustics, not
the hysterics you must be in.
Watching it happen, laying
down the master tracks you love
so dearly. No static here,
or aged fidelity.

And that's it... I still can't believe I won. I'm happy. :)

Read this. I'm not even kidding, just read it

Tonight at work, my friend/boss Brandon was cleaning out the freezer and found that box right there. He called me over and told me to look at what it said. As you can plainly see, it's a box full of Aunt Jemima's Original Pancakes. Nothing out of the ordinary...




















Then he turned it slightly and showed me the words French Toas (let's just pretend there's a 'T' there, mmkay?) handwritten on the side. Okay, "That's a bit off" I thought. But then...




















Wait for it...





















Yes. Your eyes are not deceiving you, and this isn't a different box. There were waffles inside of the pancake box, marked as having french toast.

I guess I should have warned those of you with a history of brain hemmorrhaging, but I didn't get a warning either. Anyway, these are the kinds of shenanigans that will be gotten up to in a kitchen environment.

It was supposed to be a "transient" position...

Yesterday, the 24th, marked my two year anniversary of working at Red Lion as a dishwasher. This is the longest I've ever had the same job, and I owe that to the people that I work and have worked with. It also has a lot to do with the fact that I don't have to deal with the public.

Directly anyway. Yes, I'm aware that I'm essentially dealing with the food remnants left behind by groups of people ranging in size from small, large and why don't you all just go somewhere else?!, but it's still easier to deal with than people. I don't think I would have been able to put up with it if I hadn't worked at Amazon.com before.

I almost quit after a couple weeks because the previous dishwasher kept telling me how poorly I was doing. It's true that I wasn't the fastest dishwasher, but everything that came out of the machine was clean. It was this slowness that helped me to lose around 15 pounds. I never had time to eat, so I drank water which in turn was sweated away. Somewhat unfortunately, I got faster at my job and the weight came back. There aren't many healthy options when short order items are all you've got to feed yourself with.

Working strictly evenings also made it easier when I decided to go back to school. The problem with working evenings however, is that I wasn't always able to get out at a reasonable time. I had a strong motivator to get out before 10, but sometimes even that wasn't enough. Like the time I worked a 13 hour shift.

One day, a couple months after I started, I was scheduled from 11AM to Close. When I left the house, nobody saw me go and I didn't have a cell phone yet so I couldn't call or be reached by anybody; this would lead to trouble. There were three events that day that each had over 150-200 people, and I would be handling it all myself.

It was hell in a poorly ventilated dishpit.

Except for a 10 minute break seven hours in, I worked non-stop. I just kept telling myself that it would be over eventually and to just keep going. To illustrate how long this shift was, KaTrina called the hotel around 11:30 and asked to speak to the dishwasher. She was transferred to the lounge because I couldn't hear the phone, and Summer (the bartender that night, who still works there and is a friend) came to find me outside, emptying the trash.

"Are you Kelly?"
"Yeah, that's me. Do you need something?"
"No, it's just you have a phone call."

I was too tired to be surprised or curious, so I followed her back to the lounge and took the phone. The following is kind of a summation as I was half dead at the time it took place.

"Hello?"
"Kelly, are you alright? This is KaTrina."
"Oh, hey. What's up?"
"What? Where have you been? Your family and I have been worried about you."
"I've been at work."
"At work!?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, I should be done soon."
"When did you get to work?"
"At 11. I've just been working."
"Okay, but you had us scared."
"I'm sorry. There's just a few more things to do and that's it."
"Good. Don't stay much longer. Good night Kelly."
"Good night. Thanks for calling, I should be fine now."

And then I worked another hour and a half, haha. It's funny to think about it now, but that day just sucked. I've gotten a lot better, so that will never happen again, but it can still be really taxing to clean up after so many people. The huge Mother's Day brunch is coming up, and though it's my third time doing it, I'm still worried. Maybe that's why dishwashers never have the job for more than a few months.

But I've always been an outlier when it comes to statistics :) Here's hoping I won't have a third anniversary post.

28th Birthday Post Mortem Pt 2: Happy Endings

Sorry this took so long to get up, but I just haven't been in a posting mood. It was a chore to even get the last post up. Today was a really good day though, and it has something to do with my birthday so here we go :)

Though I had my birthday party the day before, I was taken out to dinner at Red Lobster on my birthday by my fabulous mother. I went through plenty of cheddar bay biscuits, and almost all of my shrimp. After that we went to the mall to get my birthday present: a jacket from Old Navy that I'd had my eye on for a couple months. Unfortunately, they were all out and weren't getting any more in. It was disappointing, but my Mom felt worse about it than I did. She suggested I leave it for my birthday, and, well, this happened.

She more than made up for it by buying me five volumes of my favorite manga One Piece. It's going through a sped up release schedule, with five volumes per month, so it was a great help :)

But that jacket. I wanted that jacket. It was so cool!

It looked like this.

GASP! Is that the jacket that I wanted? Why yes it is! I had today off, and I was once again sitting on the couch, looking around online when I decided I would go out and DO something with my day off.

I went out to the mall expecting to look around the few stores I frequent (Barnes and Noble, Old Navy, and GameStop) and have lunch at Chico's Tacos. After a quick glance through B&N, I went to Old Navy and began looking around not expecting to get anything when I saw it.

Once I confirmed it was the jacket I wanted, I called my Mom to let her know she didn't need to feel bad anymore. She shouldn't have felt bad to begin with, as she was only telling me to be patient and responsible with my money.

That doesn't matter now though, as she is officially off the hook, and I got the birthday present that I wanted. Since I was feeling pretty good about finding the jacket, I thought I would spoil myself a bit and maybe get something else while I was out. I got lucky though :)

I bought a new copy Advance Wars: Days of Ruin for the DS for super cheap ($10 instead of the usual price of $35), and volumes 34 and 35 of One Piece (leaving 36-38 for later). I also treated myself to lunch at Chico's. All in all, a very good day. And now...

... I can finally look cool.

The birthday posting isn't quite over yet. I still have pictures of the incredible cake that I had for my birthday, and that will take a post in and of itself.

Not only that I was really hoping to hang out with my friend Amber on my birthday too, but she's been in the cold grip of multiple employers so unfortunately that wasn't an option. She even got me a present, so until I get it my birthday isn't quite over yet. Just come back for part 3!

28th Birthday Post-Mortem Pt 1.

Celebrating my birthday came early this year. My sister Courtney got me my first present around the 11th. She got me chocolate frosted donettes from Wal-Mart, a thing of Peachy-O's, a couple balloons (helium filled, mind you) and a card. The outside of the card read: "Know what you're getting for your birthday?" and the inside was blank :) I got a great laugh out of it, and it might be one of my favorite birthday cards ever.

Skip forward to last Friday, and the really cool stuff happened. I got to go see Everclear in concert! I've been waiting about 14 years to see them, and even though it's not the same lineup it was still incredible. I got my picture taken with Art and got an autograph too. I went with my friends Mindy and Andrew so the trip was a lot of fun too.

I missed the deadline to request the entire weekend off, so I had to work Saturday, but that went by really quick. I did manage to request Sunday and Monday off however, so Sunday dinner became my birthday dinner with the family. Donald and Lisa got me an awesome song writing book, so I'll be putting good and extended use to that for sure. So Sunday was a very good and relaxing prologue to my actual birthday on Monday.

When I realized my birthday fell on a Monday, I decided I would stay home from school. Yes, I can hear your collective gasps and takings of umbrage, but it's my birthday. Don't worry, I'm here today and I won't be absent again.

So taking advantage of my truancy, I slept in 'til about 9:40 when I got a text from my friend Mike wishing me a happy birthday. He was second only to KaTrina, who wished it to me on Facebook at 5:19AM PST (7:19AM CST). She's always very punctual. I didn't get a present from her (yet?), but then again, I never told her what I would like.

I have an idea in mind, but I'll leave that for Part 2 of my 28th Birthday Post-Mortem Extravaganza Spectacular!

Obligatory Birthday Post

I'm 28 today.

...yup. That's all I've got.

I'll add more if the need arises.

When parking is a commodity...

You don't sit in your damn car with your tail lights on!

It's nerve wracking driving to school in the morning. I have to put up with drivers that are content to drive five miles under the speed limit, refuse to merge in a timely manner, and get in the way of everybody. Once that's over with though, and I get to school, I still need to get a parking space. There are more students that drive than there are parking spots, so just imagine what kind of hell that can be.

I get to school this morning and classes still have two minutes before they let out, and that translates to four minutes at least until students get out to their cars. It doesn't seem like it will be a problem, because there's a red Dodge Durango sitting with it's tail light on. I don't care where you're from, but that's a universal symbol for "I'm backing up now." Some people take longer to do it, but they eventually get out of the spot.

So I wait. I keep waiting. I keep patiently waiting for this nice lady to get her shit together and move! By then, a truck was sitting behind me ignoring me as I tried to wave him around. So I decided to see what was going on.

I got out of my car and walked up to the driver's side of the idling, red Durango. I knocked on the window, spooking the lady (good) who rolled down her window and asked in a very rude way,

"What?"
"Umm, sorry, but are you moving?" I asked, very politely I might add.
"No." she replied, again, very rudely, as she was rolling up her window.

I smiled, said "Thanks." and went back to my car, ignoring the burning urge to do anything rude back. I didn't honk, shout "Then turn off your damn lights!", or make any gesture. I just got back in my car and found an even better parking spot.

But damn. The bitch knows that people are desperate for parking, and there's no reason to have your lights on teasing and tricking the people desperate for parking. I'll just be content with the fantasy of her suffering the annoyance as me.

Or getting a rock through her rear window from somebody with zero tolerance for jerks. Either or really, I'm not picky.

My reputation precedes me, apparently

Working in a pit isn't exactly how you gain notoriety, but where there's complete lack of effort to change that, there's a way.

I got a text from my boss during Archaeology today, asking me to call him as soon as possible. My first thought was "Great, I need to come in early to take care of that 275 person breakfast buffet we had this morning", but that wasn't the case: Brandon has my back when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Instead, he was letting me know that Pasco would be short on dishwashers from Thursday to Tuesday and they wanted me to cover it. I think I was asked for specifically, but I'm not entirely sure. Still, whenever a dishwasher is needed the banqueteers are usually tapped, so it's surprising that I'm the one stuck with it. Regardless, I'll be working there Saturday and Monday.

I've never been in the Pasco Red Lion kitchen, but my friend Mike says it's a confusing place. Great. The dish washing machine they have there is supposedly new, but if it's anything like any dishwasher ever, I'll still have to clean everything before I send it through. So my co-workers in Kennewick don't have to worry about me not coming back.

I'm not looking forward to closing a different kitchen, or being a foreign exchange employee, but at least it's only two days. It's no fun being famous. /sarcasm

I can be pretty smart sometimes

Last quarter, I took Cultural Anthropology and I learned a nifty new term: Ethnocentrism.

Ethnocentrism essentially the belief that one's culture is better than all others. Obviously this isn't a desirable quality to have. There really is no best culture. Yes, I know, America is pretty kick ass, but we're not the best at everything.

For the last few months, I've really started to get annoyed at the condemnation of current cultures and societies for what happened hundreds or thousands of years ago. For example...

The Crusades? Well that's proof right there that Christianity is evil and anybody who practices it is evil as well and must be stopped!

Slavery? Any person or family who owned slaves at any time at all is a horrible person and must be regarded as unethical trash. Which was almost all of the "civilized" world until a couple hundred years ago, by the way.

Now, there is no question that the Crusades and slavery were horribly wrong. Trying to "retake" land that wasn't stolen in the first place, and reducing people to property is evil. We know that now. Back then however, it was just the way things were.

This is where the smart comes in. I've been trying to think of a word, like ethnocentrism, that means believing that humanity at a certain time is superior to all other times. It wasn't until tonight that I came up with the word Chronocentrism that means just that. I was pretty happy with myself to be honest.

Just to make sure I was being original, I started typing it into google when seven letters in, the word popped up. Apparently I wasn't being original, as American sociologist and criminologist Dr. Richard C. Monk (thanks Wikipedia) coined and used the term already.

Even so, I stand by my smartness in that I came up with it on my own and without a fancy PhD.

When did that get there?

In May of last year, I started another blog where I would put the stories I would be working on during summer vacation. That... kind of happened? I put what is essentially dialogue outline, and a more fleshed out version of part of that dialogue. After that, nothing. For months there were those two posts collecting dust and falling to the bottom of whatever "Blog Suggestion" (or whatever you may call them) sidebars they were in.

Not anymore!

Behold! My resuscitated literary blog! Stranger and Fiction!

Thanks to my Creative Writing class I'll actually be writing! And whatever I write will go right in there. I may even put in some of my thoughts on the short stories and poems I've read. Poetry can be a very effective way to paint a very full and beautiful picture with just a few words, and everybody should be able to enjoy it. I really do think I've been blessed to be so easily able to discern and translate literature.

I hope that people check out my other blog and let me know what they think. A writer will go nowhere without the opinions of others. Yeah, I just came up with that :P

How I Feel

Like a warming light
Sometimes dulled, but always present
Your singing voice lifts me up
And makes everything... better

A question is raised

I won't pretend to understand the physiology of sentient popcorn kernels, but wouldn't the sudden accelerated expansion and venting of the kernel's innards cause an immediate state of inertness?

Translation: Do they die when they pop?

Hehe, sorry. I forgot to include the non-bureaucratic speak version :P

I call it Bureaucratese.

Not Dead. Here's Proof!

I'm back in school, and I've already finished week 1. I don't think I went over my class schedule, so here it is

Japanese Second Quarter 9:10 - 10:10 MTWT
Archaeology 11:30 - 12:30 MTWT
Creative Writing 12:40 - 2:50 MW

Japanese 122 - Picking up where I left off with Japanese 121, we're learning three kanji a day and there are no more romaji. Kanji is essentially the Japanese version of a word, and Romaji is the English phonetic equivalent meant to help those who can't read hiragana or katakana. Which I can

Anthropology 204: Archaeology - This will be my fourth time taking a class with this professor. No, we're not looking for lost treasure or trying to find hidden civilizations. This is a class for what is known as Anthropological Archaeology. We'll be learning about the major concepts, theories and methods to help understand our past.

Creative Writing - Duh. It's going to be awesome. It's two hours, but it's only on Monday and Wednesday. Obviously I'm most excited about this class because I'll finally have a reason to write: Grades. Oh, and the money I get for getting good grades. It's like I'm being paid to write, so I better do it while I can. I also can't wait to really learn and gain more confidence in my writing abilities. Maybe then I'll stop holding myself back from just writing when I want to!

Anyway, this was longer than I'd intended it to be, and I'm going to bed. Sleeping is likely to follow, but I can't promise myself anything.