Friday, July 25, 2008

Why yes, I am up to something. Thanks for noticing.

When I'm quiet, people tend to think something is up.

Or wrong.

Or I'm mad, sad, depressed or something other than my usual happy self... heh, 'happy self'... aaanyway.

Sometimes I'm quiet for no particular reason. It's nice to let everything else do the talking and just exist for a few hours.

Other times it's because I'm so deep in thought that not much else exists to me.

Whenever I get like that is when people think something is up. Most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it until somebody comments on it. Usually in the form of, "Hey Kelly, you okay?" This usually surprises me, at which point I quickly turn to the person and tell them I'm fine. But because I haven't spoken for hours, a strained "Yeah, I'm fine." comes out piquing the person's interest further.

Knowing that my assurance that I'm fine sounded more help me than s'all good I try to say it again, in a much more confident tone, but to no avail. They know something is up.

Now I appreciate the concern. I really do. But with me, something is always up. I'm just about always worried about something whether it's trivial or of real importance. When I try to talk about it I can't find the words and I forget big chunks of what I was thinking about.

So I just stay quiet.

I'm lucky that I'm not in high school anymore. That kind of behavior raises like, a bajillion red flags nowadays, haha.

So really, if I'm quiet, nothing's wrong. I'm just being quiet at the moment :)

2 comments:

SuzanSayz said...

Rather a nice stoic quiet that a festering rage.

KaTrina said...

agreed.