Injuries of the bored and stupid

Donald recently posted a blog about the time he shot a BB into his hand. Well I have a story of my own that I believe rivals his.

Back in '03 I was working at Quizno's in Kennewick. It was the second job I had (Round Table Pizza being the first) and for the most part I really did like my job. The place only seemed to operate at two speeds though: absolutely slammed or dead as a doornail. I'm sure you could imagine how this would start to wear on a person.

Now, when it was dead there was still some work to do, but the work was normally a one person job. So while one person was busy, the rest of us had to wait around for a customer to come in. Normally that wouldn't be so bad but there was so little space to be bored in. I'm serious, it was really cramped at the Kennewick store (the Pasco one however, was quite roomy).

Okay, we've got a little bit of expository so now we can get on with the real story:

It was during one of those really dead periods when I heard weird noises coming from the back. Kind of a 'schtunk-schiff-schtunk-shiff' with intermittent laughter. All the prep was finished and having tired of the waiting game, I went to the back to see what the noise was. It was one of my friends stabbing an empty cardboard box with a knife.

I told you the constant stop-and-go could wear on a person!

Naturally I asked what the hell he was doing, because when you see something so obvious you absolutely have to ask! He told me he was stabbing empty boxes. At that moment, I think my logic went on vacation knowing it was outmatched by my boredom and stupidity:

"That looks like fun. Be right back."

I went back to the make area (y'know, where we make the subs) and grabbed a long serrated knife. I came back and found my own empty box, not just to stab, but to slash! My friend wisely (HAHAHA) stood aside and watched as I hacked this poor box to pieces. I slashed, I hacked, I sliced, I went to grab the rest of the one-handed handle with my left hand to really cut through the box, when suddenly the knife bounced off of something it hit.

Time slowed to a crawl, and I felt my left hand become both cold and hot as my friend ran back into the make area. I saw something red spurt out of the side of my hand and splatter on the floor. I looked at what had just happened, and with logic back from it's break it all made perfect sense. Now, I didn't scream or cry out in pain. I just looked at the gaping wound in my hand and calmly said:

"Aw shit."

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hand tightly to slow the bleeding. I took the wheelie chair from the office to sit down on, a piece of bread to munch on and eventually the phone to call home for a ride.

Aside: I know my mom loves me. I know that she would do anything for me. So long as there isn't a TV show on that she likes to watch. Thanks Mom, I love you too :)

I had to wait about 20-25 minutes for my mom to show up to take me to the ER so I could get stitched up. I spent the time telling my co-workers exactly what happened, agreeing with how stupid I was and how pale I'd become. I'd never lost blood like that or had my pressure drop so much so it was an interesting feeling whenever I tried to stand up. I just kept munching away on bread scraps trying not to throw up.

After being dropped off at the ER by dear old mumsy (she did offer to stay, but I declined), I realized that I couldn't just tell them how it happened. Since it happened at work while I was on the clock, Quizno's might get involved. So I told them it happened at home while I was doing dishes. I think I told them that I tried to catch a falling knife or something. Either way they bought it and stitched me up. My first stitches too by the way.

(I find this next part funny, even though it's not relevant to the story) When I was discharged, I was still woozy and a little sick to my stomach. I called home to ask my Mom for a ride. She told me that since the house was only a few blocks away, and the exercise might do me some good, I should walk home. After pressing her further, she told me another of her shows was on and she refused to miss any of it. So I walked home, and, thankfully, without incident.