My haul this year (Amended)

As I told one of my friends at work the other day:

"I have some rather sad news. I appear to be maturing and turning into a bona fide adult."
"Why would you say that?"
"I asked for a book for Christmas. And not even one that's fiction. It's a non-fiction one called Guns, Germs, and Steel."
"Sounds cool."
"Yeah, I'm really excited to get it and start reading."
"Too bad about the 'adult' thing though."
"Oh, I'm sure I'll get over it."

And besides, it's not like the book that I want isn't about a very interesting topic, and the title is just awesome. My anthropology professor recommended it plenty of times during the quarter, and he's someone who's opinion I trust. I'm in the middle of Under the Dome by Stephen King right now, but I can't stop reading it for the life of me, so pretty soon I'll be able to start reading my new book. Well, make that books.

Cue picture.



















I was with my mom in Barnes & Noble and I showed her Guns, Germs, and Steel and told her I would really like a copy. Then I noticed another book by the same author. I picked it up and was immediately interested. Even she said it looked like it would be worth a look and likely a good read. So I was really happy to get a copy of Collapse today.

My Christmas wasn't all serious with the smart people books, as I got a toy R/C helicopter. It's taking a bit to really learn the controls, but I should have it down soon enough and be able to fully enjoy the toy I got for Christmas. I sincerely doubt it will be my last. Because come on, who doesn't want something fun for fun's sake for Christmas.

I'm not an adult quite yet you know :)

And if you noticed the previous title of this post as having a '(so far)' in it, and now having an (Amended) instead, the next photo will make that change clear:

I still had one more present to unwrap when I went over to my brother's house last night, and I got this! No, not the computer. That happened in this post. What I got is a very handy and useful laptop lapdesk!For me, it's always nice to get something practical for Christmas, because I can never bring myself to buy something I need. Buying something I don't need? Oh, no problem there. I got that covered.

All in all, I had a good Christmas this year.

Merry no longer Christmas!

Close calls in the workplace

I got a call around 3:30 today from my boss asking if I knew I was supposed to be at work. This surprised me, because I could have sworn that I didn't work until 5. Nope, today I was scheduled 2-8. So naturally I changed into my work clothes and headed out as quickly as the icy streets would allow me (it took 20 minutes instead of the usual 12), and got to work about two hours late.

That's not what this post is about though. After organizing all of the dishes, and washing some of the bigger ones, the drain was beginning to back up from all the food clutter and dirty water down there. Lovely image, I know. Well, when I turned on the garbage disposal there was a loud metallic SHINK, and like a bolt of silver quickness, a knife shot from the drain.

Only because of pure instinct was I able to keep track of the knife as it flew through the air, hit the ceiling outside of the dishpit and fell with a clang on the red tile floor. I couldn't help but yell out an expletive appropriate to what I'd just witnessed, which was closely followed by "That could have killed me."

Now I don't want any "Next time be sure"'s or "Don't forget"'s. This was a freak accident. And there have been plenty of times when I've checked to make sure there was no silverware down there, only to hear the familiar grind and clank when I turned it on.

I really wish everybody could have seen it though. It was incredible.

My hobby?

This

Something about that song...

Whenever I hear the Cheers theme song, I just feel... better. The only reason for this that I can think of is that my parents watched it and I just heard it all the time growing up. So I can only come to the conclusion that I was a happy child.

It makes staying up until two in the morning to watch episodes of Cheers worth it.

I don't know quite why I stopped churning out blog posts, but the school quarter ending likely had a lot to do with it. I have more ideas for blog posts, and some old ones that I just haven't been able to get onto the digital page.

Maybe Sunday when I'm not working at the Sunday brunch!

The McRib

Wow, it's been 10 days already? That went by really quick. This entry will be pretty quick too, but not lacking in the "Awww" factor.

The other day, I was really lazy and hungry so I decided to go to McDonalds to get something to eat. As I pulled up to the order board, I noticed the familiar red, form pressed slab of pork (that's doubtful, but I'm being generous here), that is the McRib. I was grossed out, but just before that, I got a smile on my face.

Whenever I think about that disgusting sandwich, I'm reminded of my Grandpa. How such a brilliant mind could be swayed by subpar barbecue sauce and what is essentially the equivalent of particle board in the meat world is beyond me, but he loved him some McRib.

I think it's nice of McDonalds to keep the sandwich around just to remind me of my Grandpa when I least expect it. So does unadhered to dress codes, but that's for another time.

Amen Rowlf... Amen

I'm having a heck of a time finding an mp3 of this song to put on my Zune. This song has always resonated with me, and it's doing so now more than ever. I love this song.

Randomness

Back when I worked for Amazon.com, I asked one of my buddies from my training class and group to give me a word, any word, and I'd make a story out of it. She e-mailed me back one word: Randomness. From that one word spawned my longest running and most often returned to story of one Arthur Barker dealing with a world filled with absolutely random events. We're talking crazy stuff here. Candy raining from the skies, lawns turned into large cities (scaled down of course), a lifeguard hovering over the Pacific ocean enforcing adult swim hours, and pretty much anything you can imagine.

There's a story proper of course, but to appease my friend Brandi I'll write little snippets that take place in the world of Randomness, but have no effect on the story as a whole. They're not canon I guess you can say. Anyway, there are some I'm quite proud of and I think Brandi's exclusivity deal has gone long enough, so I'm posting some of my favorites here.

Waking Up
Arthur turned over in his sleep, but happened to slip one eye part way open just in time to see his alarm clock (suddenly with legs) doing stretches. Both eyes popped open despite being halfway asleep.
"What are you doing?"
"It's 5AM, time for my morning run."
"Right. How silly of me... wait, I need to be up in two hours!"
"Can't say I'll be back by then, so sorry."

With that the alarm clock took off running, leaving Arthur behind in his bed.

"Little bastard's lucky my cell phone has an alarm." Arthur reached to where his cell phone was on the window sill, and saw it taking provocative pictures of itself. "Screw it, I'll get another job."

Much Too Loud
For Arthur, rubbing his temples had long been a necessity if he didn't want his head to explode. He had done it so long however, that now that he had a plain old headache, it just wasn't working. Even worse, his headache seemed to be directly tied to the volume... of everything.

Arthur never wanted to hear what it sounded like when a grasshopper was eating a smaller, less fortunate bug, but there it was (outside on his porch), snacking away. It didn't help that the smaller bug was still alive and screaming it's little insect scream that sounded as if a horrific murder was taking place in the next room.

"I will blow my brains out if this keeps going." The buggy scream got louder. "Finish getting eaten already!"
"Screw you, mammal! AAAAH-" The screaming ended abruptly.
"Thank God. Now where did that aspirin bottle go-"
"AHH! Now I'M getting eaten by a grasshopper!"
"Oh, come on!"

Arthur flung open his sliding glass door, located the piggish grasshopper and stomped on it as hard as he could. A choice he immediately regretted as the resounding STOMP sound practically bombed his eardrum out of existence. Literally. Thankfully, it immediately grew back, but it also kept ringing.

"Where the hell is the aspirin?"
"You killed me! You jerk!"
"AAAHH!!!" Arthur didn't care anymore, he stomped the grasshopper until it was only a greyish green spot on the concrete of his porch.

Note: The volume reset in his head when his seventh set of eardrums broke and the eighth set was normal.

Singularity
Arthur paused, his attention being dragged inexplicably to the right where he saw a small tear in the air. He walked around it once, seeing no change in its shape whatsoever. He reached out his index finger gingerly, as if he was five again and suddenly found a scab to pick at.

“Don’t pick at that!” A shrieking voice howled. Unfortunately, the voice made Arthur jump and poke his finger through the tear.
“Hmm, it feels a bit… Velcro-y… AAH!” The tear gripped onto his finger and pulled it in up to the second knuckle.
“I told you not to-“
“I wasn’t gonna pick at it!”
“Well don’t poke at it either.”
“Does it look like that matters now!?”
“Well I don’t know. I’m just here to tell people not to touch it.”
“Well, what is it?”
“That’s a very good question. Ooh!” The tear sucked Arthur’s finger all the way in, leaving him in a very awkward position. “Well, I’m going to go now. Good luck.”
“Wait! Hello?” Arthur looked around in futility as his finger started to go numb. “I hate disembodied voices.”

Now, when I eventually become a famous and successful writer, you can thank Brandi for giving me one of my cornerstone titles :)

Chances are you won't find these funny...

A deadly standoff between a Soviet KGB agent and an American spy!
"Daspitanya, comrade."
"Eww, don't spit on me!"
"That's, that's not what that-"
"I know that's not what it means, but you spit on me dude. Jeez, no wonder Soviet and American relations are in the crapper, you guys can't aspirate your P's!"

A lovely conversation with Dan McCafferty (lead singer of Nazareth... yes, I know they just did a cover)
"Love is like a flame that burns when it's hot."
"Wow. You have a lot of similes for love don't you?"
"Love is like a toaster pastry that burns when it's hot."
"That get progressively worse, apparently."
"Love is like a pogo stick when you can't hop."
"My point exactly."
"Love is like evidence planted by a cop."
"Okay, I'm leaving now.
"Love is like a flu-"
"I am walking away!"

We're not quite sure what it was the cup loved, but it's certainly dead.
























(But my friends and I think they're hilarious :)

To hobo, or not hobo

Whenever it's been a few days since I last shaved, I always consider growing a beard. Then of course I remember how my goatees would itch sometimes, and I don't like the idea of that itching being all over my face.

So all of your collective gasps and screaming "NO!" at your computer screen (Yes, KaTrina. I can hear you from here.) can stop. I'm not growing a beard.

These are just the things that go through my head.

Oops

I did actually write an entry titled Creative Dish Stacking Sub-Fields, I just accidentally posted it before I'd written anything. The real thing has been up for over a day now but not many people seem to have read it not that it's up. So, if you thought it wasn't there, it is. You can read it now.

Well, go on then.

Creative Dish Stacking Sub Fields

In my previous post I mentioned that there were four sub-fields in Creative Dish Stacking... so far.

There are now FIVE sub-fields. I know, exciting right? Saturday, my boss Brandon built a structure out of dirty dishes with the intent of moving them from one place to another: thus the fifth sub-field 'Utilitarian' was created. But what of the other four? Oh don't worry, we'll be getting to a break down of each one riiiiiiiight... now!

Utilitarian
As the name implies, this sub-field contains all dish structures that are made for purpose over style. There isn't really anything special about this category, but it can produce somewhat impressive structures. They're incredibly unlikely to fall or fail, look very bland, and serve a purpose. There is potential to make Utilitarian structures more aesthetically pleasing, but going too far in that direction can invalidate this label. Which leads us into the next and arguably most important sub-field...

Applied Artistic
This is the sub-field that pretty much all of the structures I posted earlier fit under. To be honest, this was all Creative Dish Stacking was before the introduction of separate sub-fields. The goal of Applied Artistic is to make a structure that serves absolutely no purpose but to make something cool to look at and wonder how it was even put together. I'm considering making Applied Artistic and Utilitarian their own fields, and moving the next three sub-fields under Applied Artistic, but I'm not quite sure on that. I really enjoy having this kind of decision making power.

Potentially Disastrous
This sub-field shares some similarities with Applied Artistic, but what sets it apart is the potential for the structure's catastrophic failure. Structures with smaller bases, weak points for aesthetic/functional purposes, and containing some unproven/flimsy building materials fall into this category. This is where you'll find most amateur structures and some professional structures made out of sheer vanity that are doomed to fail.

Daredevil
This is where accomplished creative dish stackers go to push the boundaries of creative dish stacking. It takes some of the key elements of the Potentially Disastrous and Applied Artistic sub-fields and makes incredible structures in incredibly stupid places. The difference between this and Potentially Disastrous, is that the stacker is well aware of the likelihood of failure. Not only that, they'll put the structure in a place where it's more likely to be knocked over or just fall apart.

Needlessly Destructive
This is pretty much the red headed step child of Creative Dish Stacking sub-fields. No offense to any red headed step children out there, but this is where all of the truly boneheaded 'structures' go. This is where you find a tall pile of plates of varying sizes stacked together on top of a small bowl on the edge of the dishpit counter. Idiots thrive in the Needlessly Destructive sub-field and they don't even know it.

Note: I totally made all of this up. Pretty cool, yeah?

Fun At Work: Building Dish Structures

Working as a dishwasher in a kitchen can be very boring. If there aren't any events going on and the restaurant is dead then there really isn't much to do if all the dishes are done, the garbages are taken out and the floors are swept and mopped.

It can also get really irritating to come into work and find piles of ill-arranged dishes taking up way too much space. The worst of these is finding a tower of plates stacked precariously on top of smaller plates, bowls, cups or creamers. I've written on here before that is taking these monstrosities down is akin to dismantling a nuclear bomb.

I started pointing these out to my friends Brandon and Mike and we all had a laugh at the laziness and stupidity that went into making them. So naturally, we took it as a challenge and started making our own beautiful dish structures.

Behold!

I call this one Silver Boxy.

It's made up of different
sized hotel pans, a metal
tong and a plate cover.

I built the main structure
and placed the metal
tong on top as a sort of
antenna. Otherwise the
structure would be some-
what bland.

When I showed it to
Brandon he completed it
by putting the plate cover
on top.



This one is all me however,
and I call it Monolith.

As you can see, it's made
of a whole lot of plate
covers and one load
bearing metal milkshake
cup.

I couldn't leave it up very
long because even though
it was structurally sound,
I didn't want to imagine
the kind of sound it would
have made if it had
fallen over.

It's simple and non-func-
tional :)


This one was made last
night and it caught me by
surprise.

I was washing plates from
a banquet when suddenly
I saw this standing there.

I had been the only one in
the kitchen for at least five
minutes, and I hadn't left
the dishpit in those five
minutes.

So, it was a stealth build.
A very impressive one at
that.

It's composed of a creamer,
a dinner plate, plastic tongs, some weird hourglass looking metal thing, a bowl, and an
empty coffee creamer cup. The bowl and the cup were added afterward, but they really
completed the piece. I dubbed it Future Modern.

And now, what I consider to be my ultimate creation in the field of creative dish stacking (though it really belongs in the sub-field of applied artistic dish stacking (there are four sub-fields so far)):

The Bloom
It consists of a caraffe, a round, dinner plates, small bowls, small metal bowls, and as is usually present in most creations, a plate cover.

It started out simple enough and with experimentation and balance it eventually morphed into what you see before you.

I showed it off to everybody in the kitchen and they all loved it.

What's funny is Mike tried to knock it over by throwing a wet towel at it.

Emphasis on the 'tried.'

No matter how many times he threw the towel he would always miss. I declared that the awesomeness of the structure had resulted in the creation of a force field. The picture really doesn't convey how cool this thing was. I'm just glad I got a picture of it before I had to take it down.

I'm really proud of the creations my friends and I come up with at work. We have some ideas in mind for future projects, such as building a bridge across the dishpit or just making something so ridiculously huge that if it were to fall over... well, it's best not to jinx it.

Pumpkin Carving Contest Results

I won.

Well, technically my pumpkin won.

The person doing the judging declared it the winner, but for some reason he decided to be fair and award every department a pizza party.

I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. Horseshit even! I seriously doubt that would be the case if catering or the front desk had won.

But the kitchen won. Not only that, it wasn't even carved by somebody who uses knives every day. It was carved by the dishwasher!

So, essentially, it was a moral victory. Which is about as close to losing as you can get while still calling it a win.

However, my boss and I decided that my pumpkin was just so awesome that it broke the contest and won every department a pizza party. I think I'll go with that one.

Monster Pumpkin

There's a pumpkin carving contest between the departments where I work.

More than likely, most of the pumpkins will be made with the help of stencils or only be a plain face carved out.

I like to think that I'm better than that.




Do you agree?

Useless Sci-Fi conjecture

What if the Galactic Senate in Star Wars was more like a Georgia courthouse circa 1925? Y'know, where everybody had some kind of weapon on their person.

Senator Palpatine: "I move that Chancellor Valorum be removed from office for-" :BANG:
Chancellor Valorum: "I move that Senator Palpatine stay dead."
The blue guy with the tails on his head: "Second."
CV: "Those in favor."
Everybody: "Aye."
CV: "Alright then, Trade Federation. Knock it off with the embargo, or you get the same as him." :points to Palpatine's body being taken outside:

See? Everything works out.

Inspiring Placeholder

"Like a slow burn, the days pass by. Knowing and lovingly embracing one another to create our past, our memories, and our lives."

It's a bit fluffy and saccharine to be sure, but I like it. I just felt like writing something you'd see on one of those Mary Englebright calenders with ~Anonymous after it. Only it's not anonymous, because I wrote it. So it'd have a ~Kelly Sorenson after it instead.

Just like this blog should have more posts in it.

About Me

A little over three years ago, on my first blog on MySpace, I got the idea to make a post that was nothing but entirely random facts about myself. I was inspired to write it by all the bland surveys and questionnaires that never really offered any insight into who a person was, only what time they woke up that day or if they'd washed their car lately.

At first, it was a bit difficult to think of things to write, but once I got a few down it got a lot easier. About a year passed and I did another, and yet another a year or so after that. I even did one on here. With all these micro-exposés running around you'd think I'd have run out of facts about me. Well, I haven't. But they are getting a bit harder to come by.

I've found out recently that I'm able to scratch almost any part of my body without using my hands. At least without using my fingers.

If a droplet of water lands on my eye, be it tepid, cold or hot, I don't blink or anything. It's almost like rain on a windshield.

I feel like I'm a robot or android whenever that happens.

I'm really good at opening the microwave door just as the timer ends so I don't have to hear the beep. My ultimate goal is to consistently open the door when the timer reads :00. I've seen it done before, and I've done it twice myself.

I'm a very good wheelchair pusher.

I've had the same blanket for almost 20 years I think, if not more. You're never too old for Mickey Mouse.

Kind of like with the microwave, I can turn on the garbage disposal just long enough to clear any obstruction so the water will drain, and not harm any silverware that might be in there.

If I'm walking, and realize I need to turn, my leading foot will stop on the ground, and quickly swing in the direction I need to go. If you saw it in action you'd think my foot was having a seizure.

I have been published before.

I'm the uncle with all the cool toys. Some are actual toys (my personal Nerf armory) and some are technically toys (electric and acoustic guitars, PS2, 360, DSLite).

I think I may possibly, though not for sure, prefer British music over American music. The feel is just entirely different for me. Green Day is still my favorite band though.

Green Day has been my favorite band for over 15 years now. No breaks either. June '94 to the present :)

I can't wait until next year when I can start saying 'Twenty-Ten.' That's when the future really starts!

I'm a very adaptive person. I may not like it when I need to adapt to something new, but it doesn't take long before it becomes natural for me.

I'm still Mormon. And someone still thinks that's funny. It wouldn't be right if she didn't.

:sigh:

I've never had so much trouble with a post before.

I tried writing a heartfelt story but I couldn't get past the first couple sentences. I tried to write an explanation of what happened, but it's already obvious what happened. I'm not even sure if this iteration of this post is going to work out or not. My mind is just kinda scrambled at the moment.

I've been miserable and cutting myself off from my friends and family, and I lashed out at one of the people that's been there for me time and again simply because she found the humor in a situation when I was too angry and indignant to see it myself.

Did I realize I was being a colossal jackass? No, I kept making it worse like any jackass who doesn't see a helping hand for what it is, and instead attacks the one holding it out. When I calmed down and came back, I found out that my friend was gone. I'd succeeded in pushing away someone who mattered more to me than anything that isn't my family.

A kind of stinging numbness took over. A legitimate worry that I've lost something very important. I haven't been able to eat, sleep or function properly. And this only happened yesterday. Can you imagine what prolonged exposure to this will do to me? Probably teach me not to be an unmitigated asshole to my friends for no reason, but that lesson has been learned.

I'm genuinely worried this is it.

The sight I like

Like a low hanging ceiling, softly lit and threatening collapse, the winter clouds were both peaceful and ominous. - Me.

I just love how low overcast skies look at night during the winter. You're not quite sure if they're going to give us snow or just stay serenely inactive. I don't want to brag, but that up there is essentially poetry. It's also almost 2:30 and I need to get up at 9 for work from 10 to whenever.

Rough Patch

I never like talking about my personal problems on here because it seems more a cry for help than just putting words to (digital) paper and get past it. There's always the option to just keep a journal and not share it with anybody but myself, but isn't that pretty much the same as bottling it all up?

For the last month or so I've just had this depression creeping up on me. It started when it began to get colder at night essentially signaling the end of Summer. I didn't do nearly as much as I had wanted to because I was too worried about wasting my time. It was my Summer vacation! I was supposed to be playing my backlog of video games, watching my backlog of anime and writing every spare minute I had. That didn't happen.

I had a great time on my vacation to Missouri, but I'm kicking myself for not having brought a camera with me. The memories are still fresh and I don't think they'll ever really fade away. Still, it's always nice to look at pictures.

I thought that getting the money for going to college would cheer me up. When that didn't really work I thought for sure that my classes would be engaging and really exciting. They are, but I'm so worried that I won't do well in them that it's sucking out any joy I have for them.

It's really annoying.

I'm also just very lonely. I don't have anybody to really hang out with besides at work. A girlfriend seems to be either impossible or entirely out of the question. I don't know how many times I've heard how great a guy I am and how any girl would be lucky to have me.

Sorry, but I can't stand not having bits of humor in everything. Yes that includes depressing posts about being depressed. And that second owl pic is just freaking hilarious.

Back on topic.

Yeah, I'm just getting really sick of taking a step forward only to find it hasn't gotten me any farther ahead. I'm under the impression that if I had a girlfriend then the pieces I've gathered would suddenly find their places. Maybe if I could get a list of references together of all the girls who've told me how great I am... yeah, no.

I'm not happy. I want to do something about it but everything I've tried lately has failed. Is a victory too much to ask for?

Going back to school. Again!

Shifts In American Literature

Like music and art, literature reflects the many facets of life but it can offer a deeper, more intimate view from the stories told and poetry written. American literature at the turn of the 20th century showed a culture that was hopeful and saw the world in a positive light. Times had been tought before, but perseverance would always see people through to a better life. When the Great War broke out in 1914, America was on the sidelines watching the events unfold. While the literature still adhered to typical structure and subjects, it was undoubtedly heading for a change.

My American Literature professor wrote 'Nice intro' right below that. I was really happy to see that. Especially because of how long it took me to get the right words out for it. It was hard, but it was incredibly rewarding once I'd gotten out the 3 1/2 (I tried pasting a proper 1/2 symbol on here from Word, and I got a five page long error. wow.) pages and turned it in. There were a few other encouraging notes left on the sides and margins as well.

I start school again tomorrow, and while I'm nervous about going back I have a lot more confidence in myself than when I went back last fall.

I'll be taking Japanese, Social Psychology and Cultural Anthropology. I've had my Cultural Anthropology professor twice before so it'll be kind of like going back to an old friend. My other two classes are complete unknowns to me, and I couldn't be more excited for them. So maybe I'm not nervous.

No. I'm nervous :)

And in the end...

Before

We will always wish to go back to before.

It was better then. It was safer and nothing went wrong.

Unfortunately, going back to before also means losing what has gone right in our lives. No matter what may go wrong, it is never worth giving up our 'now' and especially our 'later.'

random comedy bits

(In generic mobster accents)
Tony: Alright, so that's the plan. It's perfect. Like a working clock.
Johnny: Don't you mean "like clockwork?
Tony: Is that semantics I hear Johnny? Splittin' hairs? Pickin' nits?
Johnny: ...don't you mean "nitpicking"?
Tony: That's it. You're dead.

Jacob: Cool. We'll all meet up tonight around anti-noon.
Tim: You mean midnight?
Jacob: Why, what did I say?
Tim: Anti-noon-:smack:
Jacob: Exactly!

Kid Rock issued a press release the other day. Apparently, after years of a severe lack of creativity, he has run out of ways to rip off Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. He will now start ripping off artists that have themselves ripped off Lynyrd Skynyrd. The first song of his to reflect this change will be "All Next Summer Long" with a chorus of "-singin' "Werewolves of London" all summer long"

I have impeccably bad timing. You could set your broken watch to me.

(In a smarmy, fast talking door to door salesman/agent accent)
"I gotta tell ya kid, these are great! Y'put the spicy salt on the fries and made 'em all spicy. They're just great! They're spicy, they're fries, what do ya call 'em kid? Wait! I got it! We'll call 'em Spicy Fries! The marketing practically writes itself! We'll sell a million of 'em kid, no doubt!

(This actually happened)
(Banquets Manager) Julie: Oh, I see you got your ears lowered.
(My Boss) Brandon: I did.
(Me) Kelly: He got his hair cut too. I'm surprised you didn't notice that first.

I am in an alarmingly bad mood. I'd say somewhere between 'rip off your head' and 'rip off your head and do something unspeakable to it'.

Brandon: Kelly, you can't put N/A for "Interacts with People"

Brandon: Kelly, are you grumpy?
Kelly: Right now?
Brandon: Well, have you been grumpy lately?
Kelly: I'm guessing that since you've asked me into your office and shut the door the answer to that should be "Yes."
Brandon: It's just that some of the banquet people have been saying that you've been snappy at them.
Kelly: I could see that yeah.
Brandon: Yeah. Look, I know it can get really annoying sometimes. Hell, just today Mike and I went into the walk-in to cool down and scream. I'm just saying maybe you should try that too.
Kelly: Okay. But, are they aware that they're the reason I'm grumpy and snappy at them?
Brandon: Haha, yeah, that's a good one.

This is funny with my friends and I at work. Whether or not it's funny beyond that is of little concern to me :)

Was that bad? Should I not have done that?

I don't like horror movies.

Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say that I'm not a fan of horror movies.

I'm just not interested in watching people die in horrible or bizarre ways. I admit there's a slight fascination in finding out why those people are being brutally murdered;

• Rampaging, pseudo-immortal psychopaths bent on revenge.

• Ancient spirits pissed that a bunch of snot nosed valley kids are throwing a kegger in their dilapidated mansion.

• Asylum escapees dressed as clowns doing... whatever asylum escapees dressed as clowns do. Which is murdering people, apparently.

The possibilities are endless to be sure. Not that I'd rent one, watch the first 20 minutes (to see the "why") and the last five (to see who made it), but that would probably be the best option for me.

Until I saw the previews for Sorority Row. I don't think I would have any problem watching any of those horrible, stuck up, slutty whores being murdered in any of the myriad of ways horrible, stuck up, slutty whores can be murdered. I have absolutely no sympathy for any of them.

For those not in the know, the movie is about a group of sorority sisters that decide to play a prank on one of their cheating boyfriends by faking the sister's death while she's making out with him. The prank gets as far as the quarry where they're going to bury her, when suddenly (for absolutely no reason if the previews are to be believed) the boyfriend impales his "dead" girlfriend with a tire iron.

They freak out, dump the body, and vow never to speak of it again. That's vow. Not swear, not pledge, not even pinky swear! So you know how serious they are about vowing never to speak of it again.

Suddenly, a hooded figure shows up the night of their graduation, complete with a modified tire iron (oh symbolism, you subtle fiend. have you no shame?), and starts murdering all the sisters.

Oh no, the little Asian girl who takes off her bikini top because a guy looks at her is being hauled away to her doom. Dear me, the drunk is dying an ironic death. Now the consummate leader bitch is daring the killer to, well, kill her. Yeah, reverse psychology. That always works with vindictive vengeance seekers.

Is that bad? Should I feel sorry for these girls? I don't think so. None of them seem to have any inherent value and would only serve to further clog up the world with little murder concealing whorettes.

That may be a bit harsh, but when the characters are painted in such an unsympathetic light, it's really hard to drum up any kind of sympathy for them. Incredible as that may seem.

100 Bananas

I remember that the helicopters were really loud. Which struck me as odd because the old rumor was that they ran silent. The American and Soviet ones that is. Other countries didn't have a reason for anything as excessive as that. With how loud the damn thing was it would take an over-budget superpower locked in a preemptive arms race to silence it.

Anyway, it wouldn't have been so bad had the whole fleet of them not decided to fly so low and directly over my banana plantation; it ruffled them up, but not much else. The question of why they were there didn't really pop into my head until after I'd finished screaming at them. They weren't marked in any way, so I couldn't jump to any conclusions. I also couldn't think of any reason why they would come to this nameless spot of an island. The banana market was already cornered here, thanks to yours truly, so that was out of the question.

Then again, I didn't have access to obnoxiously loud helicopters. Helicopters that happened to be carrying equal parts soldiers and bureaucrats. It was the Soviets. We were their weak last gasp at survival in a quickly evaporating Cold War.

This is me talking now, and this is actually my 100th post. That's just an excerpt from my latest story idea imagined up from the word 'banana.' I started writing it two hours ago and I'm happy with what I've got. Sort of like my posts on here.

I didn't reach 100 quickly, and I'm fine with it having taken this long to do so. I don't put my fingers to the keyboard lightly you could say. It could also be seen as a benefit of procrastination, in that I don't jump in with reckless abandon.

There's been a lot I've wanted to write about on here but I could just never wring out the words I needed to get them on the screen.

Like the massive migration of people to the fairgrounds for the last week of summer vacation, and how I would race the buses on my bike as they went past the huge park next to Eastgate Elementary.

Or what I thought of heaven when I was younger. If they didn't have dodgeball up there then I wouldn't be too terribly interested. Seriously. The perfect happiness and harmony is great, but you can't tell me there wouldn't be others up for a dodgeball tournament.

I even came close to doing another 'about me' kind of blog entry. Those are always fun to do and paint an amusing and fairly accurate portrait of my eccentricities, idiosyncrasies and what makes me me.

I guess I can always get around to those in time.

Interesting To Somebody

This week is the Benton-Franklin County Fair. It's a pretty big deal around here and it's always the ultimate finish to summer vacation. Not for me though. I've never been interested in it (more about that in another blog to be sure), but I can appreciate other's fascination with it.

Anyway...

Every so often some big name musical acts are booked for the fair. It's not usually a band I'm particularly interested in seeing, but other people are. Even though I'm not interested, my job has afforded me a way to be of service to the various musical acts. I get to clean up after them and their crews.

Need proof? Well why else would I have posted this?

First up we have America and their culinary needs.




















These next two are for Night Ranger and whoever Church is supposed to be. I honestly have no idea.



















Hot means... well I think you get the idea.




















I decided to save the best for last. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Bucky Covington's catering list!




















When I worked Tuesday night we had all of the food for the Beach Boys in the back walk-in. Clint Black was also staying in the hotel with his three tour buses taking up space in the parking lot.

Not many people can claim to clean up after these musical acts (not many people would care or want to, I'm sure), but I feel, in a silly proximal sort of way, somewhat "cool."

I cannot stress how overworked that pair of quotation marks is. I simply cannot.

Kelly went on vacation. Yes, really.

I got a sunburn, there was a crazy storm and I was stuck in airports for hours on end.

All with my best friend, so this was hands down the best vacation ever.

My vacation began on Thursday, but Friday is when my flight was. It arrived in Kansas City around 11:30PM, and I was picked up by KaTrina in Bambi (her Jeep) around 11:45PM. Stepping out into the fresh Missouri night air I was immediately reminded of the thick humidity in the dish pit at work. Except it was calmingly lukewarm instead of obnoxiously sweltering. +1 for Missouri.

We all went to a nice Howard Johnson's Hotel in Kansas City to stay the night, seeing as how we'd be spending as long as we could at Oceans of Fun the next day. It was a lot of fun going to a real water park with all kinds of slides, a lazy river and even a WAVE POOL! That was the best part of the park for me. The sunscreen probably lasted as long as it could, but I still got a sunburn. Poor KaTrina though, she didn't put any on so she got it the worst.

After spending over four hours at the park we all left Kansas City (I keep wanting to type St. Louis for some reason) and went to St. Joe (about 45 minutes from Maryville, our ultimate destination) and had lunch at Chipotlé (huge burritos). It was awesome to see so much in less than one day of being there.

Then we got to Maryville. It's the very definition of a small university town on the verge of experiencing a boom. Kind of like the Tri-Cities was some time ago. Quaint isn't exactly the word here, but it's definitely set at a different speed from a lot of other parts of the country. The campus of Northwestern Missouri State University is beautiful, and it was great touring around it and taking pictures on my last day there.

The movie theater there is made up of giant airplane hangars and they even have a dinner and a movie option that is really cool. While there I went to see Funny People (which was a lot longer than I thought it would be) and G.I. Joe (which was just plain awesome). It also turned out to be my birthday when we went to a Mexican restaurant named La Bonita. I got to wear a giant red sombrero and get my picture taken. By now there should be a picture of a very surprised person balancing an ill-fitting hat on their wall.

KaTrina, I'm tasking you with getting it back should they ever take it down.

That's only a few of the things I got to do while I was there. KaTrina and I went to St. Joe to spend some time together, and that was a lot of fun. I need to remember to buy a rocking chair sometime in the next 50 years. Also, mild storms in the midwest are really cool. I've never seen clouds move so fast, lightning strike so close or rain come down that hard.

The day of our flight (I kidnapped KaTrina (despite the fact that she drove to Kansas City) and brought her back home with me), we left early to take pictures of me around the NWMSU campus in my new NWMSU hat and hang out in Kansas City until our flight. Turns out there isn't much to do there, so we waited in the airport. We did Mad-Libs, Facebook Uno and generally hung out. We did the same thing in Denver too. Spokane not so much. Driving home was the focus of that leg of the trip in spite of my poor direction giving to cab drivers.

Anyway, I had an incredible time. KaTrina is here until the 20th so I'll still get to see her and hang out before she goes back, but it was really nice being her guest these last few days.

It wasn't until I was taking my shower this morning that I realized the entire time I was there I didn't worry once about my troubles back home. That's what a vacation is supposed to be about right? If so, this one succeeded and was awesome.

What's your favorite decade for movies?

I'm just sitting here eating some strawberry ice cream (with real strawberry chunks just how I like it), and watching Ghost Busters on AMC. It's been on that channel a lot lately and this is the first time I've caught it from the beginning. I remember wearing out our old, recorded from HBO VHS copy when I was younger. I understood a respectable part of the humor, what with being under 10, but I would mostly watch it for all of the ghost and the wicked awesome proton packs and uniforms.

I was Egon for Halloween a few times even. Had a home made costume thanks to my mom and eventually a toy proton pack. Needless to say I was the envy of a lot of kids come those 31st's of October.

It's something about that movie though that just screams the 1980's. A lot of movies from that decade do that though; Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Aliens, Big Trouble in Little China, and Back to the Future just to name a few. The fact they happen to be some of my favorite movies notwithstanding of course. Is the 80's my favorite decade for movies though? I honestly don't know. I have just as many movies from the 90's and 00's (however that's pronounced) that I love just as much.

The 90's gave me Jurassic Park, Independence Day, The Matrix, and Men In Black, again, just to name a few. I have so many memories of going to the movies with my friends or by myself to see all of the awesome movies that were so totally freaking awesome that I absolutely had to go see them as soon as possible. So, I could make the argument that the 90's is my favorite decade for movies, but I haven't even gotten to this decade.

Meanwhile the 00's had the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean, most of the Harry Potter movies, The Dark Knight (not just because of The Joker, mind), the Bourne trilogy and a whole hell of a lot more. When I finally got my driver's license and a truck in '03 I could finally go to late night movies and the super awesome Midnight Premiere (the allure of which has since come and gone as evidenced by a previous entry) whenever I felt like it.

Whenever I watch one of my favorite movies I always get a certain feeling or 'vibe' from it. Memories picked up from different times I've watched them, noticing things I haven't before and understanding jokes I didn't understand previously (if it's been a really long time since I saw it last). With this decade quickly coming to an end, I'm very excited to see what's coming when we can start saying Twenty-_____ instead of Two-Thousand-_____

Seeing as how the title is a question, it would only make sense for answers to follow. Do any of you out there have a favorite 'decade'?

As a side note, I left out the 70's simply because I hadn't been born yet. You needn't do the same.

I'm not old enough for this

I miss the days when I would go see Independence Day at the Metro Four with my Dad.

I'd be in my room looking out the window at a clear night sky when he would pop his head in and ask, "Hey Kelly, you want to go see Independence Day tonight?" Before I could even say 'Yes' I'd already have my shoes on and be walking out of my room. I know it's cliché, but it's true that the little inconsequential things matter, and are usually what we remember most fondly.

I remember having to walk home from the mall one day after going to see it. Thankfully I was with Jared, my best friend at the time, and we had a lot of fun on our long, often misguided way back home. I really miss walking to his house practically every day during the summer. I miss all those things I did with Jared, but they wouldn't be memories if they couldn't be missed. I think that's a worthwhile trade.

For years there were pink and blue smudges on the windows of my truck that faded away one by one. One day when I was leaving for work I looked where the last pink smudge had been for months and it was gone. It took me a second to realize why it seemed so off for my rear window to be smudge free. It's not that I had forgotten why it was there, but it had become so routine to look at that one spot and smile that it didn't quite register that it was gone.

The smudges were from KaTrina and her friends writing on my windows with those special markers. They also filled up my truck with balloons and other stuff. I wasn't exactly surprised seeing as how I gave my consent, but it made me happy that KaTrina followed through with her "threat." Seeing plain glass where the last pink smudge had been for so long cemented that memory in my mind.

The other day, I was lying in bed when Sasha jumped up to come and sniff my face, startling me. That in turn startled her and she ran out of my room. I went to go after her but I heard a very familiar sound coming from Shawn's room. I looked in and it was a home movie of Donald's last day of his paper route. What really caught my eye was the beige, ring tailed, round eared cat I hadn't seen for years sniffing at Donald much like Sasha does to me.

Mazy talked a lot more though.

One of the first few thoughts that ran through my head after seeing her was that she's in heaven right now just waiting for her family to show up. I loved that cat. When I say she talked, oh did she ever talk. Easiest cat to ever have a conversation with. She had a past that we could only guess at, but that didn't matter anymore because she was a part of our family.

I remember being there when we had her put down vividly. I stroked her fur. I scratched behind her ear. She was so quiet.

My Dad built her a nice little box that we lined with fabric. Courtney and I both gave her her two favorite things to play with; a rubber band and one of those clear water bottle caps, one by each paw. When I move out and get a cat, I'm hoping it'll have the same affinity for them.

I've always looked forward, wondering what will become of my life as I and those around me grow older. There's always a bit of sadness that comes with thinking about the future, because we need to trade in the past in order to get there. What I've talked about in this blog is all in the past, and while I'd like to go back and visit those happier times (I would give anything for that to be so), there are always going to be more.

More memories to make and some day think back on with fondness, wishing to revisit them just once more.

Now, I didn't just pour out my heart and soul and cry over my cat for nothing. I want comments. KaTrina and my Mom are exempt from this request because they don't need to be requested. I know you're reading this and it really does mean a lot to me when I get more than 2 or 3 comments per painstakingly written entry. I'm running out of ways to get them. Making a video of me dancing to Aqua or Eiffel 65 songs is on the list somewhere and I'd rather not get that far thank you very much.

I'll even throw in this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory spoof for good measure:

WW: "The strawberries taste like strawberries. The schnozberries taste like schnozberries."
VS: "Schnozberry? Whoever heard of a schnozberry?"
WW: :sigh: "Alright, y'know what? Just-Just go. There is a line between spoiled brat and ungrateful little- and well, you crossed it. You have been nothing but nasty this entire time and frankly I've had enough of it. Just leave... No, you don't get a song! Leave!"

Okay, that's enough

Tuesday night I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I got to the theater an hour early, found the parking lot nearly full, and began to wish I could exchange my ticket.

Every theater (maybe one or two weren't) was already about 75-90% full, and I was lucky enough to find one of the emptier ones, and even luckier to sit alone (read: empty seat on my left, aisle on my right). I also had the foresight to bring along my DS Lite so I wouldn't be bored out of my mind or tempted to start calling/texting people who were smart enough to be in bed. I was a little worried that people might talk during the movie, but thankfully that didn't happen.

Anyway, the movie was pretty damn good. It was edited together like Order of the Phoenix, but a hell of a lot smoother and with more sincere acting. A lot was left out, and that's understandable, because expecting everything to be covered is silly. I felt the movie did a good job picking out some of the really important parts and doing them justice on screen. As with all the movies after Chamber of Secrets, some things were changed and/or merged together (finding Harry on the train for instance), and some things that weren't in the book at all were tossed in for... no reason? Yeah, that sounds right.

The movie isn't exactly what this post is about though. More like movies in general. Midnight premieres in particular. In short, the 'magic' of going to them has worn off for me. It's not so much me growing old (yes, I can see that comment coming a mile away :P), as it is me growing up. I mean, it's great to go and be around people that are just as excited as I am to be one of the first to see an awesome new movie (forgetting we live on the west coast for just a moment), but the headache that comes along with it has finally gotten too much to bear.

I stayed until the end of the credits and even after that, when I went outside people were still pouring out of the parking lot. I didn't get home until around 3:30, and the movie is only 2 hours and 37 minutes long. I'm happy that what is potentially my last midnight premiere was Harry Potter though, and one of the better Harry Potter movies to boot.

From now on I'll just risk going to the early morning showings instead. The risk being that parents and their noisy kids might be there. I guess I'll find out next time.

Oddly (un)familiar

So, as of June 19, 1:35 PM I have officially been on Summer Vacation. I never thought I'd ever have one again, but after 8 years here I am. I don't have to go to bed early Sunday through Wednesday or get up early Monday through Thursday. I don't have to, but for the most part I still am.

Even more than the sleep schedule however, I've been affected by not having any homework to do. I can't tell you how many times I started to freak out at work on Sunday, only to come to the realization that there were no reading assignments or papers to write for Monday. I am incredibly hard to convince to get started on homework. Trust me when I say it's infuriating when you either can't or won't listen to yourself or do what needs to be done. Hell, even doing what you want to do!

I should have more motivation come next school year though. I got my financial aid award letter last week. I'm getting $7,640 to go to school next year. Well, $4,640 is a more accurate amount. It still costs around $1,000 per quarter, and that gets taken out of the $2,564 I get per quarter, so I get a check for the remainder, which is roughly $1,564. That money is mine to do with whatever I need to. Pretty freakin' sweet if you ask me.

Yet with the sleep schedule gone, the temporary lack of scholastic responsibilities, forcing myself to write a paper the night before it's due over, and getting paid to go to school, I've been affected in an unexpected way.

I'm happy.

It's odd. I guess content would be a more accurate description of how I'm feeling, but happiness is something of a novelty to me, so I'll take it.

I'm going to do all sorts of Kelly stuff on my break that I miss doing: playing video games, writing stories, lyrics and even poetry, watching long stretches of anime and what I believe will be the highlight of my summer; visiting KaTrina.

I'll be flying for the first time ever, going to an amusement park, and traveling farther from home than I've ever been. It's going to be very exciting, and fun, and most importantly it'll be new.

As if all this wasn't enough, I got my grades for the Spring Quarter. Remember how I said that 4.0 in English Composition I wasn't going to be my last? Yeah, I totally called it.

English Composition II: 4.0
American Literature WWI to the Present: 4.0
American History: Civil War to the Present: 3.7

I'm surprised at both History and English though. I thought for sure I'd get a 3.7 for English and a 4.0 for History. Mainly because I had a hell of a time writing my two main assignments for English and I wasn't too pleased with the results. I had no such problem in History though, and I did really well on my mid-term. I can only assume I didn't do as well on the final as I thought.

American Literature was never a question for me though. I knew that there was no way I could get anything less than a 3.8, and I was fully expecting a 4.0. So, to get 4.0's in both English courses I've taken, and in American Literature has certainly helped to confirm what I've believed for so long:

Writing is my calling.

This is where I shamelessly plug the other blog I've got going on where I plan to put up samples of my work for open critique or just reading if you're bored. Seriously, go and read it and leave comments. It would help me to get off my creative butt and work! Believe me, as hard as it was to get myself to do my homework, it's even harder to get myself to write the stories I want to tell.

I'm well aware of how ludicrously counterintuitive that is.

It's going to be an awesome summer vacation regardless, either in spite of or because of how different it is from the others.

Private screening of 'UP' for dying girl

This is one of the most sadly beautiful things I have read about in my life. The article makes me love the movie even more than I already did, and it made me all misty eyed. Give the article a read but be prepared to be emotionally dismantled. In a good way.

You can read the article here

Habits and Hyperbole

When I first saw the word 'Hyperbole', I read it as any sixth grader would: hy-per-bowl.

"Is that like the super bowl but better?"

"Is that like the super fast cousin of the common mole? Like he digs really super fast?"

"Wait... what does it even mean?"

It wasn't until a few years later that I came across it again and learned what it actually meant, and yes, how to say it properly. Hy-per-buh-lee for those that doubt my pronunciation skills :P

However, even though I know how to properly pronounce the word, and really like what it means (I myself hyperbolize all the time), whenever I see it written I always say or think it the same way I did when I was 11. It's like those intervening years from when I first saw it to when I first truly understood it have cemented the incorrect pronunciation in my subconscious.

I have to work actively against it.

'Hy-per-bow-'
'NO! It's hy-per-buh-lee.'
'Oh, right.'

Now, this is only when I read it. My brain has managed to work around that bit of faulty wiring when I need to use the word in conversation, thank goodness. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever break this trivial habit of mine. I'm sure most people have something similar. A habit or something like it from childhood that still manifests itself from time to time.

Not so much writers block

As it is writer's barricade with armed guards on rotating shifts.

I honestly cannot think of anything to write on here and it's really starting to bug me for a few reasons. Most are trivial, but some have merit to them.

Like desperately wanting to catch up to KaTrina in post count while she's experiencing (or so it seems) the same lack of posting. Though her last post was to plug my other new blog Stranger and Fiction where I plan on posting some of my shorter works to get peoples input so I can submit them to be published.

Kinda funny that I plan on writing so much yet I can't seem to bring myself to make a post on here. It'd be awful kind if some of you could pop over and give me your opinions on the story. I'd really like honest critiques though.

Another reason I haven't been posting on here is because school has been ramping up with the end of the quarter only a couple weeks away. I've absolutely loved going to school this quarter. American Literature is easily my favorite class in regards to what I'm learning and how much I'm expanding myself.

Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings truly are classics that deserve every bit of respect they get and have, but reading stories by authors like Ernest Hemingway, John Updike and Flannery O'Connor are satisfying on so many more levels. It's really pushed me to take my own writing to a deeper level instead of trying to write what I think will be popular.

I hope when I end up with a static character, it will be because that's their purpose in the story. I want to make people dig into the story to see what lies underneath and gain something more than just entertainment. I still want my stories to be fantastical and entertaining, but I want the substance to easily outweigh the style.

That's why it's a good thing that I have this blog (and my poor, forgotten, malnourished MySpace blog) to just come and write whatever comes to mind. Because I love writing.

I've experienced something of a confirmation by going to college. The word potential was always tossed around when I was in public schools. Like it was some kind of security blanket I refused to acknowledge, yet it was pinned to the waist of my pants, one end dragging along the ground. I knew it was there, but flat out refused to use it.

I'm stubborn like that :)

Well, now I'm using the damn thing and despite the one end being slightly ragged, it's still as useful as it's always been.

I'm always the one that's talking in both my American Literature and English Composition II classes. Even when it's supposed to be a class discussion in English 102, I'm the one leading the class in the discussion. I've always got my hand up in Lit, desperate to discuss what I'd read the night before.

I started writing this about a half hour ago and I wish I had another, but I've got to go to class. I'm really happy that I managed to find the weak spot in my writers barricade with armed guards on rotating shifts and finally posted something of substance on here. I'm wondering how many comments I'll get though.

This deserves at least three :)

Go to bed

I can forget what I like
And know what I choose
Until I wake up
Always moments too soon

To sleep is to dream
When the moment is right
In a blink it can happen
And I regain my sight

The unlikely, improbable
Nigh on impossible
All within reach...

If I could just go to sleep

9 - Seriously, check this out

LOST

This post is going to go over what happened on the season 5 finale of Lost, so if you haven't seen it, don't read this until you have seen it.

.:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:..:!SPOILERS ABOUND!:.

First of all, that wasn't Jacob that was visiting everybody.

Surely that's obvious, yes?

It was whoever that guy was that wanted to kill Jacob at the beginning of the episode. If you didn't come to that conclusion and are balking at my logic, or asking "Then why did he take the form of Jacob? It's not like they would recognize or see him later." let me explain.

Firstly, it would destroy the surprise if it was that other guy, so it couldn't be him for the audience's sake. Secondly, he can obviously change forms and wanted to hide his identity at all costs. The most important reason, he was selecting them to set his plan in motion: that of killing Jacob. By going and talking to all of the original survivors he altered their paths to all meet on Oceanic Flight 815, which would ultimately crash on the island and set off the chain of events.

I believe the only time we actually see Jacob leave the island is when he talks to the bounty hunter (though that's questionable now) that brought in Sayid. Probably as a matter of insurance in case his 'friend' succeeds in killing him.

It's almost as if Jacob is God, and the other guy is Satan. Satan is desperate for any way to kill God, but God will always prevail no matter what. Which brings me to the next part of my post which will be a bit tough to follow. Unless you're as well versed in time travel theory as I am :)

When the other guy, disguised as Locke, manages to get Jacob killed by way of Ben, he inadvertently de-linearizes (no, that's not a real word) the space time continuum. What I mean by this, is that the continuum is now open to change instead of everything having already happened. Notice how it's not until Jacob is killed that Juliet sets off the hydrogen bomb? Although the group of survivors 30 years in the past are 30 years in the past, once Jacob is killed the time line is open to change.

This allows Juliet to successfully set off the hydrogen bomb, which obviously shouldn't have gone off in the first place as the island would have become completely uninhabitable. This event negates everything that happened on the island and pretty much causes a hard reset of time. Think of it as a computer crashing, and resetting to a previous, safe state.

The other guy might have found a loophole, but in using it he destroyed it. Totally something God/Jacob would bank on :)

I believe this is all true because the super quick shot of the eye at the end is Juliet's. She's okay, and I'm going to assume everybody else is as well.

January just cannot come soon enough.

Song of the Century

Sing us a song of the century
That's louder than bombs
And eternity
The era of static and contraband
That's leading us into the promised land
Tell us a story that's by candlelight
Waging a war and losing the fight

They're playing the song of the century
Of panic and promise and prosperity
Tell me a story into that good night
Sing us a song for me

You don't mess around with Jim either

"Hey, thanks again for bringing me here Pops. I'm really happy that you think I'm ready for it."
"Ready? Son, you ain't never gonna be 'ready' for something like this. I'm gettin' you prepared."
"Yeah, sure Pops. Let's just get inside already."

"Say Pops, who's that over there?"
"Hmm? Oh, that's Bad Bad Leroy Brown. He's actually the baddest man in the whole damn town. Yeah, you don't wanna mess with him... he'll kill you."
"For messin' with him!?!?"
"Naw, naw... no, he'll just kill you. 'S'what he does... 's'like a hobby. Says it 'relieves stress'."
"You've talked to him?"
"Son, nobody talks to Leroy if they know what's best for'm."
"Hey there Jim."
"Hey Leroy."
"I thought you said-"
"I know what I said, Son. You need to brush up on your Croce."

Highly Inappropriate

"Kyle, sweety, could you come in here please? Your father and I have something important to talk to you about."
"Sure Mom, what is it?"
"Well, this is something your father and I have been talking about for a while now, and, well, we think you're old enough now for us to talk to you about it."
"It's not something bad is it?"
"Oh honey no, no it's nothing bad. It's just that, well, you see... you're-"YOU'RE ADOPTED! Haha, jinx! You owe me a coke Gloria! What?

Ah, Jinx. That beloved child's game where all you need to play is a quick mind, an even quicker mouth, and some foresight into what the other person is about to say. There are times however, when it's best to save this enjoyable diversion for a more appropriate time.

"Mr. Hayes, we've gotten back your test results, and..."
"Please, don't make me wait any longer. Just tell me."
"Well, the results are conclusive. You- "YOU HAVE CANCER! Jinx, you owe me a coke Dr. Lomez!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Ponier, but if you can't make the minimum payments we'll be forced to - "FORECLOSE ON MY HOUSE! Haha, jinx you owe me a... wow, that really sucks."
"Yes, it does."
"Hey shut up! You're still jinxed you jerk. And where's my coke!?"

So remember, Jinx is great for amusement during long car rides, casual banter with your close friends and even select casual work environments, but wanton use can have it's consequences.

Limited Time Offer

Attention all Mad, Evil and Environmental Scientists. Are you sick and tired of having to resort to using pre-recorded evil laughs when confronted with your arch nemesis?

Have you ever had to deal with the embarrassment of accidentally playing your Wham! mix-tape?

What about accidentally recording over that very same Wham! mix-tape?

From the mind that brought you the Build-by-Numbers Death Ray, 73 E-Z (yet incredibly convoluted, and at times counterintuitive) Steps to World Domination and Tickle Me Elmo, comes Maniaxital XD (maniacus giggline).

Hi, I'm Dr. Ebilstein (pronounced Ee-bil-steen), and I'm here today to tell you about my great new product, Maniaxital XD! Taken daily, it can provide you with a deep, ghostly, mirthless laugh to instill a sense of fear and dread in those within the immediate vicinity.

"But doctor, isn't Maniaxital XD just testosterone laced with LSD?"

Of course it is! We use nothing but the highest quality ingredients* (*this is a lie) in our products, and Maniaxital XD is no exception!

Order now and receive one of our infamous UN-inspirational posters* to put up in your lair/compound/hideout/secret base to rob your arch nemesis of all hope. (*bare tree branch with freshly made kitten claw marks, with text reading "You can't hold on forever", unfortunately no longer available)

I know that if you use my product, you will notice an incredible upswing in your ability to maniacally laugh uncontrollably.

Disclaimer: Side effects include death. There are probably others, but this is the only one we've encountered so far. Take at your own risk... which is pretty damn high.


I came up with this general idea at work tonight. Had a voice for it and everything. I'd like to record it and put it on here though :)

Fanboys

Last week, I had the good fortune of having both a day off from work and school. I had two of them actually, but this is about the Friday of the two (the other being Saturday, duh). Not having anything to do, and it being a Friday, I went to the movie section of the paper to see what new movies had come out. It was pretty slim pickings because the summer movie season doesn't really start until May 1st when X-Men Origins: Wolverine sets it off.

So as I'm thinking about all the movies I can't wait to see this summer, I noticed a title I'd heard about before but troubled development kept delaying it. It was definitely something up my alley, so when I realized how lucky I was I went straight to the theater and saw:




For those in the audience that get the gist of the poster, let me explain the plot. Four lifelong friends grew up absolutely in love with all things Star Wars. Unfortunately there's a bit of a falling out among them. Eric, the one in the middle there, decided it was time to grow up and leave Star Wars as just a nice little hobby instead of a lifestyle.

His friends, Linus, Windows, and Hutch still live and breathe Star Wars, even going to a costume party decked out as Storm Troopers and Darth Vader. Eric is there as well and something of a mini reunion happens. Eric finds out that his friends have a countdown going until Episode I gets released in theaters, which is 6 months. Linus was hurt the most by Eric leaving the group behind and accosts him. Eric and Linus were going to make comics together, so that's the reason behind that.

The next day, Windows and Hutch show up at Eric's place of work, his dad's car lot, and tell Eric that Linus has cancer and only has about 3 to 4 months to live. Astonished that he's only now hearing about it, and sad that years of friendship has been wasted, he tries to get back into Linus' life. Linus doesn't want to have any of it though. Determined to not let it end this way, Eric suggests they steal the rough cut for Episode I so Linus can see it before he dies. It takes some convincing, but an unlikely inside source gives them a floor plan to Skywalker Ranch.

So yeah, they're gonna do it.

I won't give away any more of the plot because this should really be enjoyed with just the basics known. They live in Iowa (maybe Ohio?) so it's a road trip movie. There are plenty of Star Wars references and some of them are actually pretty clever. I really enjoyed this movie as it reminded me of the times before Episode I actually came out.

Watching the trailer dozens of times a day. Camping out overnight at the mall and missing school to get tickets. Missing school again to see it multiple times the day it came out. It reminded me of all the fun times I had with my friends.

It ends really well. Almost beautifully. Really glad I got to see this in the theaters. I'll be picking up the DVD when it drops on May 19 to be sure. I suggest people at least rent it. It's PG-13 and there are some parts not suitable for kids, but it's awesome never the less.

Okay, so

I've got this friend who's got a contest going and she would like everybody to know about this contest and enter into it for a chance to win something, for all intents and purposes, AWESOME!

Please be advised however, that you only have until Midnight tonight (April 22nd, to those reading this sometime in the future) to enter into this contest for something awesome. She'd really like you to enter.

Now please, KaTrina, I did what you asked, now let my family go!

Totally kidding... somebody please alert the authorities!

Quirks and Simple Pleasures

Everybody has their own little quirks that they don't really think about until somebody notices it and this happens...

"Why do you do that?"
"Hmm? Do what?"
"What you just did."
"Uhh, I didn't do anything."
"Yeah, you did."
"No."
"You so frickin' did!"
"Don't judge me!"

So while it may not go down quite like that for the everybody that has their own little quirks, if you take notice of all that you do during the day, you're bound to notice yourself doing something ever so slightly out of the ordinary. Seeing as how this is my blog, I've decided to share some of my own quirks.

When I listen to music while I'm driving, I have the volume set at increments of five. Y'know, 15, 20, 30, 35, etc. It goes up to 63, so none of that "that's too loud!" business if you please.

Whenever I do the dishes at home (work is another matter entirely), I gather up all of the silverware and place them one by one into the sections until I'm out. What's funny, and oddly mysterious, is 97% of the time, every section will end up having the same amount of silverware as the other. Even if some of the sections are one short, I'm able to find enough around the kitchen to fill them up. It's not until after I start the dishwasher that I find one more utensil that would have messed up the count.

I notice stuff like the silverware thing.

I've always got to be doing something with my hands. Whether it's snapping my fingers, popping my knuckles, or even the dreaded geekery many of you have seen me indulge in. It's a good thing smoking never worked for me. Am I right?

If I buy two pairs of pants, the first pair I wear is always the one I'll end up liking best and wear most often.

Whenever I have paper money, it has to be in order from lowest to highest, facing the same way, and in line. Y'know, a couple bills shoved in one corner and another in the other corner.

I think it's safe to say that this assortment of idiosyncrasies certainly help to round me out as me, but there are things I take joy in that do just as much to define me.

Liiike...

Being able to drive in the middle of the night with all the windows down, enjoying a pleasantly warm breeze wearing a shirt, shorts, and bare feet. Obviously, that's what Summer is for :)

Stumbling upon a new riff and trying to put lyrics to it.

And vice versa, writing new lyrics and trying to put music to it.

Suddenly waking up, worried that I've missed or was late for some kind of appointment, realizing it's 3AM and I don't have anything to wake up for. Obviously it's the going back to sleep with nothing to worry about that I like.

A cloudless night, and a big, bright full moon illuminating everything. Like I'm wearing super thick sunglasses in the middle of a bright, cloudless day. This is applicable all year, but most appreciated in the Summer. Because then I can go outside in a shirt, shorts and flip flops and enjoy it all the more.

Getting truly inspired with an idea for a story. When this happens I can't help myself from filling in all of the details and piecing together the multiple facets of the story. Overactive imaginations are NOT a bad thing.

Cold cereal milk.

School. Heh, if I had made this list a year ago...

Re-reading through Harry Potter. I'm lucky enough to still feel some of the anticipation of what's going to happen next in the story when I do.

Thinking about how time travel works.

Flying in dreams.

Having dreams where everything I wish would happen either has, or is happening. It's always a bit saddening to wake up, but it's nice that it 'happened' all the same.

Thinking about the odd little things I do and stuff that makes me happy, and compiling them into a list for my friends and family to read through and go, "Yeah, that's Kelly."

Winter Grades

So I think that the grades I got for Fall Quarter were really just a fluke. I mean, I thought I had this whole 'going to college' thing figured out, so I wasn't bothering to check on my grades for Winter. Big mistake. I honestly thought I was doing great in my classes and would improve my cumulative GPA. Then of course I got my grades. I don't want a bunch of hoopla so here they are:

Biological Anthropology: 2.1
English 276 (LotR): 1.4
English 101: 1.7

So yeah. I think the reason I got a 2.1 in Anthropology is because I had the same professor last quarter and he didn't want me to get too bad of a grade. The grades came out on the 31st and I was a bit busy so I'm posting them today... on April 1st. Yeah, April Fools :)

Okay, so now the real post begins.

Winter Quarter was a lot of fun and I'm going to miss going to those classes. It was awesome learning more about evolution. My faith hasn't been changed in any way, and I've accepted evolution for years now. So I haven't been indoctrinated or anything like that. Sounds like an opportunity for a blog post. Anyway, the Grade.

Biological Anthropology 3.3
I'm happy with it, but I was really hoping (and aiming for, mind you) a higher grade. I got a 3.7 in Psychology with the same professor but I guess I just did better. It was probably the mid-term and final that got me. It only gets better from here though.

Lord of the Rings was obviously the class I was looking forward to the most. I'd be reading one of the most important literary works of the 20th century and poring over it with a professor who obviously knows the material, and students who know it as well or might be reading it for the first time. I was always talking in that class, and in a constructive way. Like I said before, there was a really cute girl who knew just about everything Lord of the Rings back to front. We'd always have really fun debates and arguments about how to interpret the text. I'm really gonna miss going. A lot.

Lord of the Rings 3.6
Just about what I figured. Three exams and essays, lowest score dropped. 10 quizzes, two lowest scores dropped. For the two essays I handed in, I got solid B's and was proud of them. I did all three exams and was only one point away from the highest score each time. I also had a couple missteps when it came to the weekly quizzes, even though the two lowest scores were dropped.

My first day in English 101 was kind of disheartening. There were all these rules in class that I was worried about breaking and the assignments sounded a bit harsh too. Like, no matter how well you're doing in class, if you don't get a passing grade on the final (an in-class essay) you fail the class. That and the professor came off as a no-nonsense, "so much as blink out of turn and I will end you" kind of guy. Couldn't be further from the truth. I enjoyed this class just as much as I enjoyed Anthropology. I got along with the professor quite a lot too. I had a feeling I might get a really good grade out of his class. Boy was I off.

English Composition I 4.0
I got a GREAT grade! I was hoping that I'd get a 4.0, because every assignment I turned in got full marks. Nevertheless I was still a bit shocked when I looked at my transcript yesterday. I don't think I've gotten the equivalent of a 4.0... well, ever I think. Whenever I think about this I get a smile on my face. Of all the classes to get a 4.0 in, I'm glad English was the first one. And it won't be the last one, either.

My GPA did drop a smidge, from 3.63 to 3.58, but I'm still very happy with myself. And I can't wait 'til Spring Quarter starts. It's gonna be frikkin' awesome!